Thinking about joining....

[teufelhund727]

I have been married to my husband for going on 6 years. He is currently in his second enlistment and just picked up Sgt. We have 2 young children and he just returned from his third deployment in Iraq. He is now being stationed on a reserve base in Ga...Non-deployable for 3 years. (no guarantees of course....but hopefully it works out.) I have wanted to join the service since I was a teenager and now after much discussion with my husband and weighing the pros and cons have decided (tentatively) to enlist in the marine corps. I have spoken with a recruiter and have been "guaranteed" (ha-ha I don't think the marine corps knows the meaning of that word) a job in the CB field--admin. Our rationalization is that no matter what base he gets stationed on--there is always a need for admin. We have been told by numerous people in the Marine Corps that they are very good about stationing you within 50 miles of eachother. I just wanted to hear from someone who has maybe been through this. The only cons that have come up in our conversations have been the fact that I will be gone from my girls for the 13 weeks of boot camp, and then A school. And any subsequent deployments of course, but like I said he should be home for the next 3 years. Then there's the chance that we may end up on different sides of the country. He works in aviation mechanics, and as I said, I am choosing the admin field in hopes that this will keep us stationed close together if not on the same base. Any opinions?

[thewookie]

The whole thing sounds reasonable, however make your sure heart is in the right place or you could be misrable. I mean don't join just so you can be near each other because there's a good chance that at some point your plan may not execute like you want. What happens if the Corps want you on the west coast and they want him on the east coast? It's not impossible or unlikely. Trust me it's not always going to be biscuits and gravy with you both in. And will you still have the same amount of enthusiasms to be a Marine then? I think you need to think long a hard about the negative consequences a little more. I think your plan is reasonable and admirable but I caution you on the reality of it. Because nothing, NOTHING in the Corps is exactly like you expect or predict.

[teufelhund727]

Thank you for that. I am not joining just so we can be together. Again, this is something I have wanted for a long time. I understand that there are no guarantees. And if we are seperated, it will suck, but we'll make it through. Just like we have these last 3 deployments. I was just hoping to hear of anyone who knew someone who is dual military, and some input from them. I am scheduled to go to MEPS on Monday. After all, if we find out it doesn't work for us, it's only 4 years. And I'll have had a chance to fulfill one of my dreams. NOt to mention the free schooling and training. And it's a guaranteed 4 year job. All in all it's a smart family decision for the time being. I think, anyway. We'll just keep our fingers crossed that what everyone says is true. They try and keep you within 50 miles....

[PatriotGirl422]

Just remember that once you're in, you're in. Being a civilian, if your husband gets stationed on the east coast, you can pretty easily just pick up and follow him. You wouldn't have that freedom if you were also a Marine. There is also a very real possibility and likelihood that you may get deployed. Just because your husband is non-deployable for 3 years doesn't mean that you won't be. The most important thing to think about is your two children. You said that you have two young children together, and you have to think about what is best for them. Yes, it is great to follow your dreams, but once you have children you have to make them your priority.

[Cash2053]

Which reserve base are you referring to in Ga. If you are referring to NAS Atlanta, he might be deployed. I was there for six years. One unit did three tours in afghan. and one in Iraq. I just assumed it would be NAS Atlanta considering his mos and the units that are there. I just remembered it is on the brac list though, so maybe not.

[teufelhund727]

Which reserve base are you referring to in Ga. If you are referring to NAS Atlanta, he might be deployed. I was there for six years. One unit did three tours in afghan. and one in Iraq. I just assumed it would be NAS Atlanta considering his mos and the units that are there. I just remembered it is on the brac list though, so maybe not.

We are going to Dobbins AFB in Marietta, GA. He will be with HMLA 773 which is on the inbound from Iraq sometime in the next month or 2. But they are on the brac list, and we think they will be moved to Macon, not sure yet. Just the rumors from his NCOIC down there. Their rotation is supposed to be every 2 to 3 years, but we'll see. All in all, we have spoken with several dual active duty members and all of them have said that they were stationed within 50 miles of eachother with the occasional deployment.

[teufelhund727]

Just remember that once you're in, you're in. Being a civilian, if your husband gets stationed on the east coast, you can pretty easily just pick up and follow him. You wouldn't have that freedom if you were also a Marine. There is also a very real possibility and likelihood that you may get deployed. Just because your husband is non-deployable for 3 years doesn't mean that you won't be. The most important thing to think about is your two children. You said that you have two young children together, and you have to think about what is best for them. Yes, it is great to follow your dreams, but once you have children you have to make them your priority.

I understand that. I don't mind the possibility of being deployed. In some ways I would like to understand better what he has done 3 times already. In some ways I think it would help me relate to him a little better. Without going into too much personal info, this is something that would allow us to get ahead financially and be able to provide a better, more stable and comfortable lifestyle for our girls. Civilian jobs just wouldn't pay the way both of us being in the military would. We've talked about every aspect of this, turned them inside and out, and all in all, this seems to be a wise decision. If it ends up not being what we expected we will have had 4 years to put ourselves in a good position, I will have gained a lot of education and job opportunities, and then I will get out. By the time I finish finish boot camp and school I will have ca. 3 years left. The pros are far outweighing the cons. My children ARE my priority in this matter. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to make sure things will be better for them in the future. This is one of those cases. They are young enough that 2-3 years from now they won't even remember the fact that I was away from them for a while. I think it will be harder on me being away from them than it will be for them. But in the end, this will be something that will give them more opportunities as they get older and start to develop their own interests. That is our philosophy, anyway. Thank you so much for your feedback.

[Cash2053]

I was with MALS-42 out there. I heard they were possibly moving to macon also with the squadrons. Just rumors though. I deployed with HMLA-773 as an augument. He will enjoy being with the Red Dogs. I left in 2006. If I remember they were in afghanistan in 03,04. In 2005 they were in Iraq also. Those was the tempo for most units though because of current events. Good luck in your decision.

[teufelhund727]

Thanks for that. My husband was just out there and met a couple of the guys with 773. He was told he will love it down there.

Our decision is pretty much made. I was just hoping to find some people who are dual military that can let us know how it worked for them. I don't seem to be seeing too many on here. Oh well, wish us luck. I'm a little nervous about boot camp. Couple of questions....

After MEPS I am supposed to go and finish my contract with the recruiter. on the SOU he said I can pick a "field". Can I not pick 3 MOS's as my top choice? Or what? I am hearing conflicting things. He says I can just be guaranteed the CB field--which is all admin. But there are like 8 MOS's in that field. Someone else told me that I need to pick 3 specific MOS's and put them down in the desired order and then I"ll get one of those 3. Which is it?

[Marine84]

You get to pick the field - whatever the need of the Corps is depends on which one you get so, make sure you pick wisely.

[Terald T]

Being the Spouse of an active duty Marine, you are already in an Elite group,and have my admiration. Sounds like you two have weighed the Pro's and Con's pretty well, and have your priorities in order, follow your heart now. Good Luck! Semper Fi.

[Isrowei]

I take it your children are too young to voice an opinion.

I wonder what'd they say to the prospect of growing up in "family" where both of the parents are deployed. It happens. In fact, it happens quite a bit to dual military families.

If you're placing your dreams above their welfare, I don't think those priorities are in line.

[Wyoming]

I take it your children are too young to voice an opinion.

I wonder what'd they say to the prospect of growing up in "family" where both of the parents are deployed. It happens. In fact, it happens quite a bit to dual military families.

If you're placing your dreams above their welfare, I don't think those priorities are in line.

The above quote is why I hold the LT in such high regard.

[teufelhund727]

I repeat:


Without going into too much personal info, this is something that would allow us to get ahead financially and be able to provide a better, more stable and comfortable lifestyle for our girls. Civilian jobs just wouldn't pay the way both of us being in the military would. We've talked about every aspect of this, turned them inside and out, and all in all, this seems to be a wise decision. If it ends up not being what we expected we will have had 4 years to put ourselves in a good position, I will have gained a lot of education and job opportunities, and then I will get out. By the time I finish finish boot camp and school I will have ca. 3 years left. The pros are far outweighing the cons. My children ARE my priority in this matter. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to make sure things will be better for them in the future. This is one of those cases.

[Isrowei]

You asked for opinions. This is simply mine.

I understand all about making sacrifices for a chance to make a better life. Especially for my children. But I believe that the greatest influence in a child's life is their parents. I know that my job will sometimes take me away from my children, but I also know that they will always have their mother to guide them, direct them, nurture them, and help them to grow up. Having her there is the only reason I feel the peace to leave and do my duty.

I can't find any potential gain that I could give my child that is worth the sacrifice of having at least one parent in their life at all times.

As I said, this is only my opinion. If it's something you can live with, then go right ahead. Just don't walk in blind. I have the unfortunate position of sometimes telling Marines to do activities that will take them away from their families. Sometimes for a day, sometimes for a few weeks... sometimes for a deployment. And when it comes down to it, when you put on that uniform, that ends my special consideration for you. You're a Marine then and I (and others like me) will expect you to carry out orders just like any other Marine. That means, just like any single, no-kids, not dual-military Marine.

I have three female Marines in my shop that are married to male Marines. One of them has two small children (twins) a little over 2 years old. The other two are recently married and don't have kids yet. For those two, I'm already planning their next duty station so that they deploy. The Marine with kids has a little longer time left on station. But her next duty station will deploy as well. It's part of my job to ensure that.

I don't tell you these things out of meanness. It's simply a matter of fact in this age of deployment cycles. The Commandant has made it expressly clear that he expects every Marine will deploy within their first enlistment. It's a reality you need to expect and be aware of.

In the end it's you and your husband's decision. Good luck with whatever course you choose.