I need help coping

[WorriedMother]

Hello all

My daughter is shipping out very soon to Parris Island and I am very nervous. I know she is going in for the wrong reasons, but she won't listen to me. She's not a very commited individual and has a hard time following things through and doing what she needs. She is 20 years old and still very immature. My biggest fear is that she'll hate being "stuck" for 4 years in something she doesn't like or want. As her mother, I don't want her to suffer. I don't want her to be hurt! And I know she will and she tries to tell me everything is okay, but I am just so scared. She is my oldest and she is my only daughter. She tells me that the Marine Corp is her "golden ticket" to start a new life and achieve the things she wants to, but there are so many other ways to achieve her dreams than to give away 4 years of her life. Please, I respect the Military, especially the Marine Corps...but I think my daughter does not belong there.

Is there anybody feeling the same way or similar? Any advice on how to cope with this? I need help.

[003XXMarineDAD]

It sounds like she has her sights on being a Marine. My she have the good luck and guts to make it. At twenty years old it is time to let her make her road to go on and sucess or fail it will be hers to make it.
We as parents have to at a time cut the ties and let our sons and daughters make their own road.
Good luck to your daughter and you If she makes it you will have reason to be proud of her and never hide that pride.

[Finger]

Big hello from San Antonio Larua,
It's time she uses what you taught her.
Trust in the Lord and her too.
S/F
Finger

[Proffitt]

You can't sail to new lands unless you're willing to lose sight of the shore. She'll be fine.

[marine2103]

Hi there- your daughter sounds almost identical to me! i am the only daughter and the oldest of five kids.My mom has the same worries as you do and does not support me.Probably the only difference between your daughter and myself is our ages (16),our attitudes,and our goals for the Corps.What are her reasons for joining? Mine are as follows: the guys ( I plan marriage early;short life),the rigor, toughness, domineering attitude and the pride.I love the uniforms and stuff. and i promise to make my country proud.Next june I too will ship out to Parris,known as the most dreaded place to train for the USMC.am i ready? oh ya,I'm training physically and mentally, memorizing traditions and chants and lingo (so I'm smart),running,studying and reading.I love every aspect of the corps and what it offers. I KNOW your worries;again you sound like my mom.Now that your daughter is an adult,you have virtually lost her.If she won't listen now,she probably won't unless she is devastated.The attitude she bears is a NO-NO!!! Its a big NO-NO!!The DI will break her.She will be crushed and other stuff....no, its not what you want,but experience is a very hard teacher! I know, i deal with it constantly and try to work things out myself.I have the same problem as she does...tho I am very driven,committed to my decisions and not afraid to admit my faults.I'm new here,but when i saw your post i felt I had to respond.no,i'm not a marine yet,but next summer i will be. Show her my post and tell her if she really wants to go-fine,but don't come crying for help when things don't work out.She needs to grow up. If its what she wants..... Don't worry-my family are Christians and I would gladly pray with you should you desire it.Just trust Christ,if she belongs to him it will all work out.Good luck and Semper Fi.

[WorriedMother]

Hi there- your daughter sounds almost identical to me! i am the only daughter and the oldest of five kids.My mom has the same worries as you do and does not support me.Probably the only difference between your daughter and myself is our ages (16),our attitudes,and our goals for the Corps.What are her reasons for joining? Mine are as follows: the guys ( I plan marriage early;short life),the rigor, toughness, domineering attitude and the pride.I love the uniforms and stuff. and i promise to make my country proud.Next june I too will ship out to Parris,known as the most dreaded place to train for the USMC.am i ready? oh ya,I'm training physically and mentally, memorizing traditions and chants and lingo (so I'm smart),running,studying and reading.I love every aspect of the corps and what it offers. I KNOW your worries;again you sound like my mom.Now that your daughter is an adult,you have virtually lost her.If she won't listen now,she probably won't unless she is devastated.The attitude she bears is a NO-NO!!! Its a big NO-NO!!The DI will break her.She will be crushed and other stuff....no, its not what you want,but experience is a very hard teacher! I know, i deal with it constantly and try to work things out myself.I have the same problem as she does...tho I am very driven,committed to my decisions and not afraid to admit my faults.I'm new here,but when i saw your post i felt I had to respond.no,i'm not a marine yet,but next summer i will be. Show her my post and tell her if she really wants to go-fine,but don't come crying for help when things don't work out.She needs to grow up. If its what she wants..... Don't worry-my family are Christians and I would gladly pray with you should you desire it.Just trust Christ,if she belongs to him it will all work out.Good luck and Semper Fi.

My daugther has nothing in common with you. She is not joining because of stupid supercilious reasons such as GUYS and UNIFORMS. You have a lot to learn dear and you are still very young and immature.

You asked why she wants to join...well she wants to join because she can no longer afford college and she doesn't want to live with her parents. She wants to be a musician and she know she can get playing experience from the Corps and that they will help pay for her music education degree after her four years. But I just want her to pick another path that doesn't make her commit her life to something for 4 years. Once she gets out of the Corps, she's going to be very behind on her bachelor's degree. And I am afraid she'll be miserable in the Corps and won't make it through college afterwards. I don't think deep down inside she really wants this, she's just looking for a way out of her current situation. She says she does and is very determined to go and try to join the Corps, I'm just very afraid for her.

[Finger]

I finished my degrees in the Corps. The tuition assistance was outstanding in my day. (90% with good grades) I bet they still have it. If she goes to one of the Bands she will be encouraged to continue her education.

I get the feeling you think we are or where all big nasty door kickers. Well I was, but there are a whole lot of educated Marines out there with highly technical skills.

S/F
Finger

[Brewer0311]

Your daughter's reasons sound just like mine. I ran in to a speed bump with colelge and didn't want to live off my parents. I was also the same way with getting things done, staying commited and the other things that go with it. Been in a little over a year. Going strong and love it. I get my duties done quickly and proficiently while keeping a good attitude. At first (during boot and SOI) I felt I may have made a mistake. In reality I think it was just the adapting to the Corps and learning what exactly needed to be done and in what way. I'm sure everything will work out for her and your family.

[SgtHopperUSMC]

Your daughter's reasons sound just like mine. I ran in to a speed bump with colelge and didn't want to live off my parents. I was also the same way with getting things done, staying commited and the other things that go with it. Been in a little over a year. Going strong and love it. I get my duties done quickly and proficiently while keeping a good attitude. At first (during boot and SOI) I felt I may have made a mistake. In reality I think it was just the adapting to the Corps and learning what exactly needed to be done and in what way. I'm sure everything will work out for her and your family.

Was that speed bump spelling? Sorry couldnt help it.

[Isrowei]

Tuition assistance is 100% now.

I also got my college while in the Corps. 11 years later and I'm still here.

I understand your fears, but she's 20 years old. You should let her be her own person.

If you were my mother, I'd be telling you to back off. Incidentally, I did that with my own mother, but in a much nicer way. You may view it as love and concern, but I'll bet she feels its smothering and holding her back.

Let her go and encourage her to succeed. If she truly doesn't belong, she'll find that out on her own.

[SlingerDun]

I don't think deep down inside she really wants this, she's just looking for a way out of her current situation. She says she does and is very determined to go and try to join the Corps

And what would you insist she do, remain in your house and under your skirts where you can keep an eye on her as she feels stifled and grows resentful? Good Luck on her venture!!! It sounds like her reasons for joining are good enough for her, the Corps will be the proving grounds and if she stumbles or happens to fail, at least she jumped into the rapids and gave it a run.

Young people have been joining the Corps to escape from something or another and start anew since the beginning, and what sound like lame reasons for joining are enough to get them started in a life changing experience which becomes more complex and meaningful.

Perhaps hard to imagine for some, but the Marine Corps saves young lives, and it happens every day.

--->Dave

[LeonardLawrence]

worriedmother,

Appreciate your concern and don't mean to make light of it. Sounds like your daughter is following through...for her own reasons, by her own choice.

You should encourage her and support her. You spent 20 years of both your live making sure she was ready for life. Here is a pretty big test of that training.

Good luck to both of you. My recommendation is that you join some kind of parents group and keep your negative comments regarding your daughters future to yourself.

I can speak from being in a similar type situation...negative words...they just added fuel to my fire.

And as has been stated she can do the educational thing in the Corps. If she doesn't like it...in four years she can run away and join the convent, the circus or whatever she desires....with a real understanding of who she is and where she is going.

[FistFu68]

MOM,IF YOU HAD BEEN A MARINE;YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THE PERDICAMENT YOU ARE IN.WORRYING IS GOOD,CAUSE IT SHOW'S YOU LOVE HER.SHE WILL BE FINE,YOU'LL COME TOO KNOW YOU'R DAUGHTER AS A FINE WOMAN.SEMPER~FI~THAT

[Phantom Blooper]

marine2103 Mine are as follows: the guys ( I plan marriage early;short life),the rigor, toughness, domineering attitude and the pride.I love the uniforms and stuff.

Stay home and grow up....you can get laid by a sanitation worker in uniform! Maybe you may change your goals!

[sparkie]

HAHAHAHA, Sanitation worker,,, Youy know they get paid more? LMAO.