Forget Everything Else, It's Almost Football Season

[fontman]

Forget Everything Else, It's Almost Football Season
August 01, 2006
Doug Powers

We desperately need a break from the bad news concerning the Israeli/Hezbollah conflict. Speaking of relationships with Jews, we're sick of the Mel Gibson story already. Global warming apocalyptic freakouts are sure to continue until an apparently man-made phenomenon called "summer" is over. What to do?

Bad news is everywhere, but there's one bit of good news. If you're a football fan, regular season action is mere weeks away, and then all our problems will melt away, at least as fast as our ice cream.

This is the time of year when men all across the country become giddy with anticipation, and for a change it has nothing to do with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. It's the season when men begin checking their remote controls for proper function, arrange a redundant backup plan in case of a systems failure in remote number one, kiss their wives good-bye, and do their part for the economy by bravely pushing Frito-Lay and Anheuser-Busch stock to new heights. It's a time when blood, sweat, and tears are shed, and yet we bravely move forward undaunted-mainly because it's not our blood, sweat, and tears. Praise be, it's almost football season!

At this moment, the stadiums are quiet-emptier than Paris Hilton's CAT scan photo. But soon there will be an eruption of humanity watching their heroes attempt to metaphorically prove how much better their town is than the rival town.

Obsessive football fans have already had the Hank Williams Jr. song, "Are you ready for some football" bouncing around inside their heads like musical Flubber since just after the Pro Bowl.

When football season ends, you can sense a distinct national depression among the male population. Some men jump straight into hockey season for an uninterrupted supplication of their sporting needs, but most go into a deep emotional hibernation-a yearly slumber which this year is, thankfully, being facilitated by mid-term primary election campaign commercials.

As football lovers, with the exceptions of Steeler fans, we're also concentrating on putting last year behind us. We've wiped the slate clean. Your team didn't make the playoffs? Forget about it. That's the beauty of the sport. Every season starts anew, and hope springs eternal.

When I say "wipe the slate clean," I only hope that's true for my team, the Detroit Lions.

In years gone by, when the Lions heard, "Are you ready for some football?" They've collectively yelled back, "No!" Any football fan in almost any city has witnessed consecutive losing seasons, but not any that went on consecutively and lasted longer than it would take to ride your lawnmower to the Oort cloud.

Another reason I'm a Lions fan is commitment (in the literal and rubber room sense). In the Lions' first season in their brand-spankin' new $300 stadium, the Lions won three games there. That was $100 million per victory-that's right up there with the upper echelon politicians. Show me any other city willing to make that kind of commitment to their team.

But it isn't the wins or losses that makes football great-okay, it is-but it's also the atmosphere and feeling of brotherhood that comes with being a fan amongst fans-unless one of them tries to kill you. In the stadium, people from all walks of life (who could afford a $75 ticket and a couple of $9.50 beers), political beliefs and ethnic backgrounds come together and, alas, find that they have something in common: A desire to see the opposing quarterback treated like peanut brittle in Michael Moore's back pocket.

With the beginning of football season comes events and happenings that are purely American. Excluding "Girls Gone Wild" videos, where else can you see people put on silly big wigs, paint their faces, expose their chests, and whatever else, and make complete fools of themselves on national television? Sure, there's always C-Span, but still…

It's almost here. I can envision game day already:

I can smell the ribs cooking on the barbecue, and see the people at a tailgate party consuming beer like there's no tomorrow-because there may not be if the field goal kicker's foot isn't strong and true.

There's a man deep-frying a turkey in a gutted washing machine basin. I see a guy wearing a cheese hat, handing out Tostitos and letting people dig into the melting cheddar on his head. Another group nearby is bowling, using empty Heineken bottles as pins and knocking them down by rolling an empty pony keg at them. I look at my watch. It's only eight a.m. Still five hours to kickoff. Time to leave my house and head to the stadium.

Are you ready for some football?



Go Packers...My Ellie will prolly append her two-cents to this topic saying, "Go Eagles!"

[Mike McIntyre]

Well if I say go Saints will the Drifter “Black Ball” me for being inflammatory? (I am just kidding!!!) Or maybe just feel sorry for me (#2 in the NFL Draft) for rooting for the WORST franchise in NFL history.

Eagles Fan! I better watch myself. Aren’t they the ones who throw things at Santa?

Football season is just one of those great Freedoms that seem to make it all worth it. Although it is really Florida Football (College) that makes my year, life is never the same after the Supper Bowl.

Maybe that’s why the Middle East is so messed up, NO FOOTBALL?

[thedrifter]

My team is the only one Love, but I do have a soft spot with those Packers!

GO EAGLES!

Maybe that’s why the Middle East is so messed up, NO FOOTBALL?

You might be on to something there...
They can't let out their frustrations....

Ellie

[yellowwing]

No worries McIntyre, Our Beloved Saints can whip the Lions on any given Sunday

[Mike McIntyre]

Amen!!!

“I love the smell of cut grass in the morning,

Smells like, like……

Victory!”

[Ignition]

GO COLTS...... been through the losing years.... now the sting of loss is worse knowing my team should win its games

[Mama]

Go CHIEFS!!!!!

Rah Rah...Football!!!!!!!

are ya ready???!!!!

[10thzodiac]

Unfortunately for me I can't get into it. In Proviso High school my brother played football with his team mate Eugene Cernan the astronaut and State Champs 1950. His love of football career got side tracked unlike Mohammad Ali's career he went to prison for his religious beliefs, although he did play semi-pro when he got out. He said he'd a real tough former-Marine Captain guard in Federal Prison Ashland, Kentucky that gave him a bad time. Maybe boot camp, Cuba, and Vietnam wasn't so bad after listening to what my big brother went though for two years.

I was in an exceedingly large freshman class of 1200 in high school and over 100 guys tried out for the football team. I never thought about it, then all my buddies were trying out. Well, I made first string my buddies 2nd string. My career ending event was the Asian flu of '57 and knocked me off the first string to 2nd string. I wasn't interested in the sport ever again, maybe never really was. 1961 the year I should of graduated they were State Champions, I was a private in the 1st MarDiv.

My sports were boxing, weightlifting, wrestling, gymnastics and karate. Did you notice something about the sports I chose? Individualism, no team to hide behind (not that team work is bad). Once a fellow weightlifter likened the sport of weightlifting to "that it is pure, it is you or nothing!"

My brother is almost 74 now, former high school track, baseball and football star and professional roller skater. Every malady to man he has (illness) and he looks just like Mickey Rooney (presently) and watches football full time. Don't even bring up religion around him unless you want to be converted, lol.

Enjoy your football guys, I'll be stuck doing something or another.

SF

[Mike McIntyre]

Are you for real?

[10thzodiac]

Are you for real?

Whats your excuse genius?

[FistFu68]

THE (USMC) IS A TEAM SEMPER~FORCE

[Mike McIntyre]

Zodiac:

I am just a figment of your imagination. Bad dream that it is, I don’t exist.

[Mike McIntyre]

“Our Beloved Saints can whip the Lions on any given Sunday”

Yellowing,

Reggie Bush is in camp. I hope that you are right but I have my doubts (3 lonley wins)

[003XXMarineDAD]

Go CHIEFS!!!!!

Rah Rah...Football!!!!!!!

are ya ready???!!!!

BRONCOS
ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR!!

[Mama]

LOL Marine DAD...you an' Papa...he's from Denver LOL

CHIEFS all the way!!!!