The Vichy Solution

[thedrifter]

The Vichy Solution
By George Neumayr
Published 11/9/2005 12:11:06 AM

Even as the French authorities downplay the role of Islam in the riots, they tacitly acknowledge it by calling on Imams to issue fatwas against the rioters. But the rioters -- recognizing that these government-approved Imams are secularized stooges in hock to French pols -- aren't very concerned. "Fatwa! Don't make me laugh," a rioter said to the press after the Union of Islamic Organizations ordered them to stop. "We don't feel represented by those people. We didn't vote for them. They're just filling their pockets."

The reliance of the French authorities on a stable of feckless Muslim mediators is an acknowledgment of the Other France -- a population of seething Muslims who now refer to themselves as living in "occupied territory." Jacques Chirac speaks grandly of "the Republic," but it is fast eroding if it exists at all, as evident in the fact that he has to address members of his own population through Muslim negotiators.

France's self-congratulatory campaign to reconcile differences between Islam and the West, undertaken in recent years to avoid "a clash of civilizations," has accelerated one. An obtuse and vain assumption had launched the campaign, namely, that the only possible clash of civilizations would be Christianity versus Islam. It didn't occur to the French secularists that another clash of civilizations was possible: their own secularism versus Islam.

The French secularists patted themselves on the back for avoiding the first one by discarding their historic Christianity. Jacques Chirac, for example, wouldn't permit a single mention of Europe's Christian roots in the European Union's Constitution. Will it now dawn on them that to avoid the second one requires surrendering their cherished secularism? French politicians are making all the right PC noises about the riots being the result of "discrimination." But they are very vague about the source of the discrimination, and for good reason: the source is French secularism itself. French Muslims say that they can't rise in a state in which secularists alone hold the privileged positions.

So will the pols chastising France's Interior Secretary Nicolas Sarkozy for calling the rioters "scum" -- Chirac said that's no way to speak to a "dialogue" partner -- promise to scrap their own secularism in the name of reducing tensions? Will they say, "Fine, wear your Muslim headscarves"? Are they ready for Burka-wearing broadcasters on their government channels? How about a Muslim president? Or a new Constitution reflecting that the de facto majority religion in France is Islam? (Ironically, France's proudly modern and secularized Constitution looks anachronistic, a relic of an expired era.)

French habits of appeasement and its commitment to secularism now cut against each other: the Vichy-style, power-sharing solution to which French pols are drawn will cost them their secularist state but could perhaps give them just enough peace to pursue their secularist pleasures. French politicians had arrogantly assumed they could delay this choice by secularizing Islam. Hence their desperate project to form and spread "French Islam." But the hopelessness of the project is obvious; instead of soothing tensions, it inflamed them, clear in the contempt Muslim rioters feel for the Imams Chirac has been trotting out as peacekeepers.

French secularism is not substantial enough to win the clash of civilizations it couldn't even recognize. And were it to try and win the clash, it would have to suspend the very tolerance that led them into it. The misapprehensions of reality built into French liberalism make it an ideology that devours itself, unleashing chaos that necessitates departing from it. This explains why dictatorships have followed its liberal revolutions. Reality-defying assertions about "liberty, fraternity, and equality" produce enough irrationality to justify a Napoleon to stop it.

France has been rewarding those who ignored the inevitable collision of Islam and its culture while punishing dissenters who merely noticed it. It fined for "hate crimes" French authors who warned that the assimilation of Muslims would prove impossible and elected preening liberals who waved the problem away. The former were "heartless" and the latter "humane," yet who's position now tempts France to draconian measures? Who's position has placed France in an insoluble crisis?

Earlier this year a French minister asked if Europe's riverbed could accommodate the "river of Islam." The question was a generation too late. French secularists made a great show of opening the floodgate, and the river of Islam gushed through the country, gradually washing away the secularism that had released it.


George Neumayr is executive editor of The American Spectator.

Ellie

[Ed Palmer]

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a
battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again. Facing an
apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 ****ed off teenagers Mr. Bush
doubts France's ability to hold off the little ****ants. "Hell, if the
last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to
surrender any day now", said Bush. Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace,
warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines
to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be
overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours
of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even
one marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but
thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before
they went on pregnancy leave.

President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon
as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make
sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The
less they stand out the better.

[woodman]

LMAO
You nailed it Ed

[outlaw3179]

Ed that is hilarious

[Ed Palmer]

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French Army to Market "Ultimate Surrender" Video Game
7/13/2002 - William Grim

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Paris - Inspired by the commercial success of the United States Army’s "Boot Camp" video game, the General Staff of the French Army has announced plans to market "Ultimate Surrender," a video game based upon the proud military traditions of the Gauls.

In the game we follow the exploits of Lucky Pierre, an apprentice garlic salesman from Marseilles, as he joins the French Army and begins a rigorous course of combat training. The First Level of the game is called "Survival School," and the players have to help Lucky Pierre survive 24 hours without red wine or crème brulé. The Second Level is "Capitulation," and the goal here is to see which player can have Lucky Pierre surrender the fastest without firing a shot or getting his uniform dirty. Level Three is "Collaboration." Here the players battle to see who can collect the largest numbers of pairs of nylon stockings and packages of chocolates by having Lucky Pierre perform sexual favors for members of the occupying forces. Level Four is "Be Ungrateful to America for Rescuing Your Sorry French Ass Once Again." In this extremely challenging part of the game contestants vie with one another to see who can make Lucky Pierre behave in the surliest manner when the United States inevitably comes to the rescue of the defeated French. The Final Level is "Pretending to Have Been in the Resistance." Here contestants compete in a battle of tall tales and whoppers as they try to protect Lucky Pierre from treason charges.



Marketing tests show that "Ultimate Surrender" is a big hit with French teenagers and young adults who are too young to have experienced France’s lightening surrender to the Germans in 1940 or its defeat by the Vietnamese in 1954 at Dien Bien Phu. "Zees is a great tool to inspire ze patriotism in ze youths, n’est ce pas?" said General Jean-Jacques Loseur, Commander-in-Chief of the French Army, during his weekly press conference. "Since ze end of ze Cold War we French have not had many opportunities to surrender or to show great cowardice in the face of much weaker opponents."

When questioned about comments made in the French Chamber of Deputies that "Ultimate Surrender" makes the French Army look like a bunch of gutless mama’s boys, General Loseur pulled out a white handkerchief, put his hands over his head and said, "Oh heck, I give up."

[Ed Palmer]

Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Bush Names Smokey (the Bear) Special Envoy to France
11/9/2005 - Shelby Trial

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jumping at the chance to show that all that French opposition to the Iran War was water under the bridge President Bush promised to help France with its youth riots by naming Smokey (the Bear) as special envoy to France. "We're gonna send out dear friend Smokey over there to help France with their fires. We also have McGruff (the crime dog) and 50,000 'Don't mess with Texas' bumper stickers ready to go on a moments notice", Bush said. Reporters asked Bush if he felt the riots posed a threat to the Chirac government. Bush wryly replied, "Does Smokey poop in woods".
Meanwhile, French President Chirac plans to lead a delegation to the United Nations to have Italy withdraw its offer to help France combat the Muslim youths. An outraged Chirac said, "I have got enough problems, now I am going get Italian troops. What are we trying to do, appeal to their sense of humor? We need beauceau money to rebuild these areas". The International Red Cross reports that donations for France were trickling in and then they just stopped all together.

In reports reminiscent of Hurricane Katrina, cable news outlets reported seeing thousands of homeless in the riot torn areas, undrinkable water, and a repulsive stench permeating the area. They later retracted those statements saying they forgot they were in France. A report that the fires were doing millions of Euros of improvements was thought to be a cruel joke. Meanwhile, Al Jeezera said France was falsely accusing Muslim youths for the fires and instead reported the U.S. was to blame for the fires.

[Ed Palmer]

http://www.brokennewz.com/displaysto...oryid_E_908gay

to take this test you cannot be of French decent no Frenchman can pass this test. So if you think you can pass read the questions and answers below and then click on the URL above


Gay Test

No need for a blood test or lengthy therapist visit to find out if you're really a homosexual. Matt Rouse has developed this handy test promised to produce accurate results. Just answer these 20 questions and know for sure!


1) Have you ever found a guy attractive?
Never!
Just Once (And I was Drunk!)
A Couple Of Times
All The Time!


2) Have you ever kissed a guy?
Never!
Just Once (And I was Drunk!)
A Couple Of Times
All The Time!


3) Do you like Opera?
No way!
Some of it
Yes
I love it!


4) What's the Australian version of Syrah called?
What's a Syrah?
I know, but I forget...
Merlot
Shiraz


5) Do you like going to strip clubs (To watch women)?
Definitely!
Once in awhile
Rarely
No


6) Do you like beer?
Who Doesn't?
Not really
Once in awhile
No


7) Do you like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra?
The what?
I saw them, and HATED it
Eh, they're ok
I love them!


8) How many teams are there in the beginning of the NCAA basketball tournament?
64
32
I forget
No idea


9) Who's hotter, Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt?
They're both homos
Tom Cruise
Brad Pitt
It's a toss up


10) What's a better hand? A flush or a full house?
Full House
Flush
No idea. I don't play cards
They tie


11) Do you like Oprah?
I hate her so much
I respect her as a person
She has her moments
I love her!


12) Have you ever hugged a guy (Family members included)?
No
Yes
Once (And we were drunk)
All the time, we're very close


13) Finish this lyric : "She told me to come, but..."
"I was already there!"
"I don't have any hair!"
I forget
I don't like AC/DC


14) Finish this lyric : "Instead of kisses, we get kicks... Instead of treated..."
Uhhhhh
I forget (Been awhile since I've seen Annie)
It's right on the tip of my tongue
"We get tricked!"


15) Do you floss?
No
Not as often as I should
Sometimes
All The Time!


16) If you have urinals like : 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5, with guys at 1 and 5, which one do you use?
3
2 or 4
I don't use urinals
It really doesn't matter


17) Do you like cigars?
Yes
No
Sometimes
Rarely


18) How many pieces of jewelry do you wear other than a wedding ring and/or watch?
None
1
2
Mr. T has nothing on me!


19) Who won the first American Idol?
No clue, I hate that show
Kelly Clarkson
Clay Aiken
I forget


20) Do you like to dance?
Hell no
In clubs, yeah
I love to
If a lady wants me to

[marinemom]

The French need folks to come to their aid?

Let them call the Germans. God knows the French have greeted them enough times and the Germans do know the fastest routes to Paris.

[rb1651]

Right on target, marinemom!!!!

[Ed Palmer]

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."