Female Advice

[Million21]

Rah Gents, new to the forum and this is my first post. Currently a Marine at MCAS beaufort, im a 6217 f/18 engine mech. I was deployed for 9 months last year aboard the ship doing airstrikes in iraq and syria and im switching units and headed back on the ship again.

Now to the reason why I posted this thread, my last deployment I had a girl that things were getting really serious but halfway through my deployment Id say about 5 months in she shoots me an email saying shes pregnant and its not mine. Needless to say I ****in hate jodie. Ive been talking to a girl (civi) for about 4 months and were pretty much to the point of dating. She recently asked me when I was deploying again and I told her I got voluntold to go back on the ship. She was sad and whatever like every girlfriend/wife is.

My question is for the salt dogs who did many deployments with a wife/girlfriend do you just avoid talking about it or do you bring it up again? Anyway I dont know if this post is too soft or whatever for this forum so go ahead and blast me for it if it is lol. Thanks gents.

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[Tennessee Top]

Not too soft.

I can personally relate. Got married as a Sgt. We were married for 3 years when I got my PCS orders to OKI. She stayed in base housing aboard CAMPEN. As far as I can tell, she hooked up with Jodie at about the halfway point (civilian puke). Didn't find out till I came back home - she didn't want to send me a "dear John" letter. Anyways, she had already been to the lawyer and I was served the divorce papers a few days later. Fortunately for us, no kids were involved. Never been married again - left a bad taste in my mouth for it and being a single Marine is a pretty good gig.

As for your question. I believe you both need to talk about future deployments often. The separation will have a major impact on the relationship good-or-bad so should not be avoided. Specially with a civilian who most likely does not know what to expect (unless she is a camp follower and been around the block a few times - you just never know).

[madsox]

First thing - welcome aboard, Corporal Million! Good to have more active duty Marines on the board, hope you like the place and spread the word.

Second thing, I can't talk about deployments and women from experience because I was just a reservist my whole time in. But what I've seen makes me go with Top's advice. Talk about what you being deployed is going to mean for her, if she's that serious about you. Make d@mned sure she really understands that you're going to be g-o-n-e, gone for a long while.

If you've got some other Marines in your unit with long term girlfriends or wives, see if you can get one of them (with his significant other) to sit down with you and your lady and talk it through.

It can work, but it can also not work (like you found out the hard way).

Hel1, I got "Jodie-d" one time while I was in the Reserve, just on my 2-week annual training! That's a whole 'nother story though.

Stand by here and some more Marines with more direct and recent experience will be by to share their stories too, I'm sure.

Again, welcome aboard and hope you're not just a "post and run"!

s/f

[FoxtrotOscar]

Not going to say much on this topic, I don't give advice, just information...

Top said his piece and I can fully understand that...

Myself, I stayed single till I was a Gunny, to many women in this world..

When it comes to discussing deployments, married or not with someone your with.. information shared is more then just being friends with benefits..

Communication is valuable and lessons jumping to conclusions and judgements..

Let your conscience be your guide...

[Million21]

Thanks MSgt, I'll probably throw a couple beers down and talk to her about it nothing like some liquid confidence lol.

Best part about the girl who messed around with jodie while i was gone is she wants me back now lol. Probably wants the BAH and tricare. I mean ****, if **** doesnt work out ill be single on a deployment which is never a bad thing.

[Million21]

Thank you sir, its hard for civis to wrap around their head that I can only email maybe once a week or send a letter across the world. Somehow its "harder" for them back stateside. Woman....

[Phantom Blooper]

You got some good advice from Top and madsox and some good information from FTO.

From personal experience I was a young married buck dat' went on deployment...came back and she was gone.

When I did get everything taken care of.....She told me. "PB when you die I'm going to dance on your grave!"

Fast forward. Been married to my bride close too 40 years and am very happy.....married in the Marines and went on three deployments no serious problems.....because we talked it out.

There was no Skype....cell phones or computers...just snail mail.....

A few years back the first one needed some information from me and got my email address.

I was cordial and gave her the information requested....then as I was typing my ending salutation I politely informed her. "That the Secretary of Navy has authorized upon my demise to be buried at sea"

So basically "Dance on dat' biotch!"

Haven't heard from her since and never will....one of the best things ever happened with the advent of computers.

Good luck to you both! Go slow....and communicate your feelings....doesn't make you soft...........sometimes can make you hard!

[m14ed]

As surely as the wind will Snuff a candle
or fan a fire-
So will time, -
extinguish small passions
and increase great ones.

unk

[m14ed]

Francois de La Rochefoucauld Quotes


Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld



AIN'T Computers grand ,
now-
after i puke -
I can again go about forgetting
just how he said that

[Phantom Blooper]

Ed you are quite da' romantic you are....

[Old Marine]

Well grasshopper, I just had my 60th wedding anniversary and If I told you how to do it then I would have to kill you.

[Phantom Blooper]

Willie you DA' MAN!

Congratulation's to you and your bride!

[Mongoose]

Bloop, you and Ed are living proof that there is a woman for every man.......regardless of.............well you know !

[edzin]

You can't go wrong with open and honest communication. Every person you meet will be different, and so will you be in your interactions with them. For some you will want to tell more to, so do so. Others you may want to refrain for whatever reason, in those cases do so. There is no right or wrong, in any case. Be there for others and hopefully in your life your friends and significant others will be there for you.

[2 Marine Mom]

Wow, thats to bad , jodie girl did that to you.. really stinks that, some women, can't keep it together, while they're man is out protecting us all.

I was not a soldiers wife, just amarine mom, times 2, so I understand all the issues with not getting communications... But, my 1st marines Dad, worked for the Union Pacific Railroad, he was gone all the time.

I busied myself with our little boy, and we went to see dad, on weekends, if we could, where ever he might be... I never cheated on him, never a thought of it,

Although, it wasn't always returned, I found out...

Issue is, to many women have been raised, to think they can't survive with out a man in they're pocket, 24/7... society teaches it... and with all the computer crap, it makes it way to easy, to cheat.. iv been on the receiving end more than once.. Hurts big time.. I wish you luck, young man, you will eventually find her, or she will track you down... Stay safe, and good luck.. Deb