Ww2 Bam

[txfltrider]

Question tor the legal minds. As the son of a WW2 Woman Marine, Lilian Eileen Reynolds/Harris, 1943 to 1946, and 'nam vet myself, Randolph A. Harris, 1966 to 1970, how can I go about exhuming my mothers ashes from a gravesite that my step-brother will NOT allow a memorial to be placed on to the Dallas Fort Worth National Cemetery???
About at my wits end trying to deal with the step-brothers drop out of the military mind set!!!!!!
Thanks in advanve for ANY help.

[awbrown1462]

you are the real son he is a step son right ? or is he a half brother

[txfltrider]

Yes, only child. My Mom married a widower. She was cremated and buried on top of her husband who was buried next to his first wife. Since the plots are in THEIR names, we have no legal rights as to what happens to or on that grave site. All we want is place the military marker to honor her service and he refuses.

[Marine84]

I take it there is bad blood already between the 2 of you.........?

If so, it's sad but, you don't have a leg to stand on. You may as well deal with it and hope he comes around some day.

If not, why is he telling you no? If all you want to do is put a respectful service memorial on her grave, what does he care? She's YOUR Mother!

[Zulu 36]

Question tor the legal minds. As the son of a WW2 Woman Marine, Lilian Eileen Reynolds/Harris, 1943 to 1946, and 'nam vet myself, Randolph A. Harris, 1966 to 1970, how can I go about exhuming my mothers ashes from a gravesite that my step-brother will NOT allow a memorial to be placed on to the Dallas Fort Worth National Cemetery???
About at my wits end trying to deal with the step-brothers drop out of the military mind set!!!!!!
Thanks in advanve for ANY help.

Other than burying your step-brother too, the only possible solution is to seek legal advice. As a full blood relative, you may have more say in the matter than your step-brother. Only a lawyer can help you on this one.

[EGA1957]

Not being a legal scholar, I would think your deceased mother would have rights of succession in the marital "chain."

That is, if your mother survived your step-father (who presumably survived HIS 1st wife), then the burial plot rights reside with the last kin-of-record.

On that basis, it would seem tha sole temaining NEXT-OF-KIN would be you and the other "disputant" would ONLY have rights to HIS mother's remains (casket), but not the burial plot as that was in his estate (which only now included he and your mother as a part of estate succession).

Just a thought..

[txfltrider]

Marine 84...There wasn't any bad blood until after Mom died and the lies and deceit started. They even tried to lay claim to heirloom items that belonged to my grandparents. The funny thing is the items had no real monetary value, only sentimental value. We simply want to place the military marker to honor her service. She was a very proud Marine and told everyone about her military service. He says the marker is large and would overwhelm the main stone (take away attention to his parents?). I guess this particular cemetery puts the military markers under the main headstone. Where we live, they are put at the foot of the grave. I asked if we could put any sort of memorial there and he said no. According to the cemetery, the plot belongs to the step-family and we can have no say even though I am her only blood kin.

[txfltrider]

Zulu 36 - That is what we are hoping for. We are truckers and when we get home, we plan to consult a lawyer about our legal options of bringing her to Texas and placing her in the DFW National Cemetery and reserving the plot next to her for me. They aren't anti-military, but they aren't pro-military either. The step-brother was an Army washout and didn't even make it through basic training. His father never served either. That may be one of the main reasons he is resisting. We have spoken to his sister and she is going to try to reason with him, but because he was the executor of the estate, his word carries more weight up there. I hope we can bring her back to an area with more military pride.

[txfltrider]

EGA 1957 - Not according to the cemetery. They say the step-family owns the plot. In a community property state, your arguments would be true, but Ohio is not one of the nine community property states. We will be consulting a lawyer and will stop by the DFW National Cemetery to see if they have any ideas of how to give her the honor she deserves.

[Marine84]

Marine 84...There wasn't any bad blood until after Mom died and the lies and deceit started. They even tried to lay claim to heirloom items that belonged to my grandparents. The funny thing is the items had no real monetary value, only sentimental value. We simply want to place the military marker to honor her service. She was a very proud Marine and told everyone about her military service. He says the marker is large and would overwhelm the main stone (take away attention to his parents?). I guess this particular cemetery puts the military markers under the main headstone. Where we live, they are put at the foot of the grave. I asked if we could put any sort of memorial there and he said no. According to the cemetery, the plot belongs to the step-family and we can have no say even though I am her only blood kin.

Exactly.................we went through something of the same thing with my Uncle Wallace's grave - except the guy was wanting to do something good for his buddy that he's been missing 40+ years.

I'm from a small town. Everybody knows my Mom - she taught high school for 30 years. Everybody knew the family but, since my Mom's last name is different, the cemetary didn't even call her to ask her if it was OK. They called one of the brothers that lives out of town.

You have to look at it from the cemetary's point of view. I don't know how big or small the town is but, it's not their place to get in the middle of a family feud and they shouldn't be expected to. Make a compromise with the evil step brother - choose a smaller memorial and place it where the cemetary says you can.

By the way, I think it's cool that your Mom had the last laugh. She was a true Marine!

[txfltrider]

Marine 84...The cemetery is standing on the rules of their cemetery association. They are caught in the middle and are very sympathetic to us because they have family members who are and have served. One man's son is a Marine and in the hospital with a war injury and he is just aching to get back to his unit. They think it is disgraceful that the step family will not give her her due, but they are bound by rules and laws.

It is the last laugh!! The step sis in law cannot stand the military and was easily angered when I frequently made mention of her Marine attitude and determination. That little ds was used to giving order and having them followed. She told herself she was ready to go and was impatient when it didn't happen as fast as she thought it should. But she died as valiantly as she lived her life. How many BAM's made e5 in less than 2 years in the 40's????

[hbharrison]

Question tor the legal minds. As the son of a WW2 Woman Marine, Lilian Eileen Reynolds/Harris, 1943 to 1946, and 'nam vet myself, Randolph A. Harris, 1966 to 1970, how can I go about exhuming my mothers ashes from a gravesite that my step-brother will NOT allow a memorial to be placed on to the Dallas Fort Worth National Cemetery???
About at my wits end trying to deal with the step-brothers drop out of the military mind set!!!!!!
Thanks in advanve for ANY help.

txfitrider first things first, you need to complete your profile we do have some lawyers on this site but I do know they will not come here because you have no profile.

[Mongoose]

I have to say, my honor to you and your mother. Good luck

[Marine84]

It is the last laugh!! The step sis in law cannot stand the military and was easily angered when I frequently made mention of her Marine attitude and determination. That little ds was used to giving order and having them followed. She told herself she was ready to go and was impatient when it didn't happen as fast as she thought it should. But she died as valiantly as she lived her life. How many BAM's made e5 in less than 2 years in the 40's????

I was looking at it more from a Woman Marine's view with the whole buried on top of hubby that's buried beside his first wife thing. That was probably her last FU to her husband's family.

I'm sorry for your loss and hope things work out for you.

[txfltrider]

txfitrider first things first, you need to complete your profile we do have some lawyers on this site but I do know they will not come here because you have no profile.

Done deal!!! I need all the help that I can get! As a FAC in the "Nam" era I can still only try to understand her mind set. She was a TRUE patriot.