Guidence needed

[Odom5363]

My son signed with the Marines early 2010. He wanted to go to boot camp sooner than October. In order for him to do that he was forced to go reserve. He completed Boot camp and SOI by Sept.2010. He did very well at his training and came out highly motivated. He ckecks in at drill goes the first and second months and doesnt go in December. He has lost that motivation. The First Sgt called me and had a meeting with my son in January to put him back in satisfactory mode, in which he came home yet again motivated. He was scheduled for drill this weekend and he doesnt want to go. During this period of time he has not found a job. That alone is weighing on him. However he says he doesnt like the particular unit he is with and he wants to be active not part time.
I realize I am just the mother and this is his problem to deal with but he usually listens to what I say. What do I say? I dont want to call any attention to him at this point he may get chewed for mama calling. I know my sons heart and it is for the corp but I am afraid reserves is not fulfilling the desire that needs to be fed.
Please understand I am just a mom trying to help her 19 year old be who he has always wanted to be.
Thank you,
The Mama

[USNAviator]

With all due respect ma'am you're enabling your son to remain a little boy. He's a man and a Marine and as such he has an obligation to fulfill.It's not what he want to do it's what the Corps needs him to do.

I think Jim Harper might want to comment on this situation as well

[Marine1011]

In my day. court martial time. They come right out and say come on son, let's go. And that's the end of it. So if this post is for real, better have your son shape up or ship out. Just my 2 cents.

[USNAviator]

In my day. court martial time. They come right out and say come on son, let's go. And that's the end of it. So if this post is for real, better have your son shape up or ship out. Just my 2 cents.

And well worth the price Jim. I knew you wouldn't split hairs. Say how is that daughter of yours doing, Effie Mae? I heard she going to Taxidermy school in the Fall. You must be very proud

[kaelobo]

Dont mean to change the subject, DAV call me today and iam P and T that means champ for the wife has some problems with health, great day today, just had to tell somebody ,.........................................usmc

[USNAviator]

Dont mean to change the subject, DAV call me today and iam P and T that means champ for the wife has some problems with health, great day today, just had to tell somebody ,.........................................usmc

Bob, I'm not familiar with what you're talking about. Can you explain more, if you don't mind?

[Phantom Blooper]

I am not privy to todays information....however when I was in reservist that didn't go was given brig time and then put active.....some behaved and stayed squared away and done the hitch they signed for.....one was discharged for good of the service because he just didn't want to do active or reserves.

My nephew was discharged from the reserves for failing to drill during the start of the current war with a General discharge.....the ST Sgt told me it was easier to discharge than to prosecute and put on active duty.

My personal thoughts are this young man signed the contract and swore an oath and allegiance....mom did not.....

If he doesn't go then it is cross to carry.....and I believe regardless of reserve or active.....he knew what he was getting into before he signed the dotted line.....this isn't like him getting up and going to school....don't want to go.....skip school.....and then either quit or do makeup work.....a contract is a contract and he is a young adult and bear the consequences as such.

If he doesn't want to go to drill as a reservist what will he do if activated and the shoat hit the fan or the hurry up and wait gets going everyday?

Motivation in the military regardless of branch is from within.....

His status of reserve or active makes no difference....this is life.....there are many things on a daily basis no one wants to do but by commitment and honor and ALL the basic leadership traits and principles they are fulfilled.

Cut the apron strings and let him go just like you did when he went to recruit training.

[Phantom Blooper]

Permanet and Total on disability

[USNAviator]

Permanet and Total on disability

Thank you!!

[USNAviator]

My personal thoughts are this young man signed the contract and swore an oath and allegiance....mom did not.....

If he doesn't go then it is cross to carry.....and I believe regardless of reserve or active.....he knew what he was getting into before he signed the dotted line.....this isn't like him getting up and going to school....don't want to go.....skip school.....and then either quit or do makeup work.....a contract is a contract and he is a young adult and bear the consequences as such.

Cut the apron strings and let him go just like you did when he went to recruit training.

As I said in my post, you are enabling him, don't do it. As Phantom so adroitly put it, he signed an contract and swore an oath. Doesn't he understand the consequeces of his actions?

There is no easy way out. He must honor his contract and his allegiance.. If he is doing this behavior now, what will he do in the future? Please do as Phantom suggested, cut the apron strings. He'll be OK, he'll have no other choice. The expression today is "man up". He did it at boot, he can do it again

[03Mike]

He was scheduled for drill this weekend and he doesnt want to go. During this period of time he has not found a job. That alone is weighing on him. However he says he doesnt like the particular unit he is with and he wants to be active not part time.

Well, not going to drill is not an option. Your son has an obligation - he made an adult decision and joined an adult organization, which brought adult responsibilities.

Now, if I may lend perspective. He says he doesn't want to go. I can't tell you the number of times just about every Marine on this board didn't want to go somewhere he or she had to go for the the Marines. But we all went. That's what Marines do - our duty.

He says that he doesn't like his particular unit - he only has to deal with them one weekend a month and two weeks a year. What do you think his drill instructors would say to that? I'm sure that boot camp taught him to suck it up better than that. I'm the father of a 20 year old, and I'd tell him to suck it up and stop whining.

As far as going active duty, what happens then if he gets in a unit he doesn't like? That's more than likely 24/7/365 - not a long weekend every 27 days.

My advice - like most 19 year olds, he wants to be treated like a man. He needs to start acting like one. Doing one's duty doesn’t involve always doing what we want to do. He basically needs to “man up,” stop acting like a kid, and fulfill his commitments. Demonstrating to his reserve unit CO and First Sergeant that he doesn’t have the discipline and commitment to fulfill his reserve obligations is hardly going to get them to give their endorsement to go active duty. And quite frankly, with that kind of attitude, I don’t think anyone would want him on active duty.

My advice – talk to him about what he likes about the Marine Corps, about what he learned and gained at boot camp, and how his behavior now compares to that. Ask him what he thinks his DIs would think now if they could see him basically wimping out of going to his reserve drills.

Honor, courage, commitment, integrity, duty… right now, it sounds like he isn’t displaying any of these.

Long term, if he continues to miss drills, he will be listed as “UA” – that means “Unauthorized Absence.” After missing a certain number of drills (I can’t recall how many), his status will be reported to law enforcement. They won’t come looking for him necessarily, but if he gets stopped for any reason (even at a sobriety checkpoint), his license will show his status (even if he goes to DMV to get it renewed) and they’ll arrest him and turn him over to military authorities. At which time he’ll be transported to the appropriate Marine authority, confined in the brig until his court-martial. He will most likely then be reduced in rank, lose any military benefits, and receive a “Discharge under other than honorable conditions.” Depending on how the convening authority handles it, that’s a felony conviction and comes with all of the baggage of any other felony as far as employment, student loans, etc.

So again, he needs to get over himself and man-up. He’s joined a man’s world and is behaving like a spoiled kid.

[SGT7477]

If he doesn't like his reserve unit doesn't mean he will like an active unit,he needs to man up and act like a Marine.

[Old Marine]

If he is presently living under you roof, I suggest that you have him fall in and you march his honey buns directly to the next drill meeting and deposit him in front of the 1st Sgt's desk. I do not know how they do it these days, but i doubt you want some MP's showing up at your door to pick him up. Then again, maybe that is what he needs.

[mcvet57103]

Sounds like a sh!tbird to me. Go get him his earned BCD and give him the boot. The Corps will be better off, and down the road a few years he'll be on here whining how he should have tried harder, but Mommy didn't make him be a man.

[drillinstructor]

It is simple. Tell your son he must do his time honorably and in the end if he wants out then get out. His future will be bleak if he chooses any other course of action.