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Thank you very much to everyone who has replied, it's all been really helpful. You've really put a new light on things.

(BTW, I'm actually not married, I was just saying that I don't believe in...

First of all, it is important to note that I am not a "poolie", merely a "potential poolie," if you will. I'm not 100% sure if it's appropriate for me to be posting in here not having gained that...