NROTC Essays

[Dread13]

I am applying for the NROTC Scholarship and would like any advice you have to offer on my two essay.

1. Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Marine Officer.

I desire to become a Marine Officer foremost to serve my country, there is no greater honor than serving your country as a Marine in the Corps. Secondly, becoming a Marine Officer will help me enhance myself both physically and mentally. Finally, it would be a privilege to lead fellow Marines in the Marine Corps as an Officer.

As a child I spent most of my time reading because my family could not afford to buy my siblings and me the commodities other children enjoyed. The majority of the books I read dealt with honor, courage, and loyalty. I have tried to incorporate those values in my everyday life, but I felt that I could not truly do that with the tools I currently had in the civilian world. The military is the only place I could think of to hone those skills, and of the five branches the Marines Corps is the only one that people subsequently associate with possessing those traits. Becoming a Marine Officer would give me the tools that I lack to better myself and be an outstanding member in society.

The Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps would help me attain the superior physical and mental capacity needed to be Marine Officer. Physically, the high standards required to be a Marine Officer would keep me in the utmost physical condition during the four years I will be studying at a university. Mentally, I would be obtaining the knowledge necessary to succeed in the Marine Corps by applying what I learn while attending summer training assignments, as well as the naval science classes each semester, in my Military Occupational Specialty, and as a civilian by earning a degree in political science.

At first, I just wanted to be an enlisted Marine, but then I got the opportunity to apply for this scholarship. It made me want something above the great honor of becoming an enlisted Marine - to become a Marine officer, and love my Marines like my family, to carry an extra pack to lighten their load , to always put them before me, but still always understand that sometimes the mission will call for some of them to get hurt. I want to lead by example.

2. How might your background and experiences enhance the U.S. Marine Corps?

My background and experiences have helped form the individual that I am today, a person that strives to become a Marine Officer. I am certain that my rearing as a child and the skills that I have acquired in my life will enable me to greatly enhance the United States Marine Corps.

When I was eight years old I received an unexpected obligation when older brother left, it was now my responsibility to abide for my younger brother and sister. I did not fully understand the enormity of the task until day my mother, an old fashioned lady from Mexico (this was before people started calling Child Protective Services), gave me a ferocious beating because my little brother had set a spiral notebook on fire in the apartment and explained to me that she would beat the life out of me every time my siblings did something bad, got in trouble at school, or misbehaved in public. She reasoned that I was the one they looked up to so if they were doing something improper, more than likely they picked up from me. From then on I kept a careful watch on how I acted and what I said in front of them, I had to lead them to become better than anything I could ever be.

My responsibility grew even more when my mother was deported and we went to live with our paternal grandmother, who is seventy-one and works full-time at a plant nursery. I learned the meaning of hard work by helping my grandmother with my siblings by cook, clean, do the laundry, and walking to the store for groceries whenever she needed something, in addition to maintaining my grades in school. It was extremely difficult and I would have given up if not for Mrs. Rojas, my college readiness counselor, she helped me stay in school and realize that asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. She always encouraged me and told me that I could go to college if I put my mind to it; it is because of her that I am here now applying for this scholarship and not flipping burgers at Burger King.

I was forced to grow up sooner than my peers and lost most of my childhood, but I do not regret it because when I think of my little sister and how she looks to me for guidance and direction, I know that her need for me to lead and mentor her was far more important than what I missed out on as a child. I look forward to using the skills that I have acquired from my background and experiences to serve my country as a United States Marine Officer.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

Not bad, I think.

[gonzo4]

I applied for and received the scholarship back in 2008. Did a year of college with it and well here I am now. I can help you out on what they want to see in your essays and what you can expect from the process if you have any questions.

Kank the last paragraph on the first essay. The enlisted man is the backbone of the Marine Corps and "becoming more" really belittles people who went enlisted. As an officer you really are working for them. You need to show your humility and understand you are only as good as the people you lead. They look for your able to empathize with your Marines. And use the core values of Honor Courage and Commitment dont use loyalty. Its ok to build your essay off of those because you already kinda know how that should fit into your career as an officer.

On the second paragraph. Watch what you are saying about your mom getting deported and child protective services. The officer selection panel will want to investigate those matters more and them diving into your history like that can open up a huge can of worms you don't want to be opened.

Also revise, revise, revise!!!! I know you are just submitting this on the site right now to have it looked at but you say things that don't make sense nor fit the subject matter. Send a copy of the essays to your OSO for them to look a and they should also give you tips on writing them. I also saw that you are in the DEP now, go talk to your recruiters and ask what they want to see in a good officer.

Good luck to you hope this helped. If you have any more questions please feel free to shoot me a PM.

[Dread13]

#1
I desire to become a Marine Officer foremost to serve my country; there is no greater honor than serving your country as a Marine in the United States Marine Corps. Secondly, becoming a Marine Officer will help me enhance myself both physically and mentally. Finally, leading fellow Marines in the Marine Corps as an Officer would be a privilege above all others...

As a child I spent most of my time reading because my family could not afford to buy my siblings and me the commodities other children enjoyed. The majority of the books I read dealt with honor, courage, and commitment. I have tried to incorporate those values in my everyday life, but I felt that I could not truly do that with the tools I currently had in the civilian world. The military is the only place I could think of to hone those skills, and of the five branches the Marines Corps is the only one that people subsequently associate with possessing those traits. Becoming a Marine Officer would give me the tools that I lack to better myself and be an outstanding member in society.

The Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps would help me attain the superior physical and mental capacity needed to be Marine Officer. Physically, the high standards required to be a Marine Officer would keep me in the utmost physical condition during the four years I will be studying at a university. Mentally, I would be obtaining the knowledge necessary to succeed in the Marine Corps by applying what I learn while attending summer training assignments, as well as the naval science classes each semester, in my Military Occupational Specialty, and as a civilian by earning a degree in political science.

When I swore into the Marine Corps at San Antonio I did not think there could be a greater honor than to serve among the few and the proud, then I was told that I had the opportunity to apply for this prestigious scholarship and be able to serve those few and proud Marines fighting for our freedom.

#2
My background and experiences have helped form the individual that I am today, a person striving to become a Marine Officer. I am certain that my rearing as a child and the skills that I have acquired in my life will enable me to greatly enhance the United States Marine Corps.

When I was eight years old I received an unexpected obligation when older brother left, I had to abide for my younger brother and sister. I did not fully understand the enormity of the task until day my mother, an old fashioned lady from Mexico, gave me a ferocious beating because my little brother had set a spiral notebook on fire in the apartment and explained to me that she would beat the life out of me every time my siblings did something bad, got in trouble at school, or misbehaved in public. She reasoned that I was the one they looked up to so if they were doing something improper, more than likely they picked up from me. From then on I kept a careful watch on how I acted and what I said in front of them, I had to lead them to become better than anything I could ever become.

My responsibility grew even more when my siblings and I went to live with our paternal grandmother, who is seventy-one and works full-time at a plant nursery. I learned the meaning of hard work by helping my grandmother with my siblings by cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and walking to the store for groceries whenever she needed anything, in addition to maintaining my grades in school. Keeping up with everything was extremely difficult and I would have given up if not for Mrs. Rojas, my college readiness counselor, she helped me stay in school and realize that asking for help is not something to be ashamed of but a sign of someone who is willing to improve themselves.

I was forced to grow up sooner than my peers and lost most of my childhood to take care of my siblings, but I do not regret losing my youth because when I think of my little sister and how she looks to me for guidance and direction, I know that her need for me to lead and mentor her was far more important than what I missed out on as a child. I look forward to using the skills that I have acquired from my background and experiences to serve my country as a United States Marine Officer.