Need Advice

[JR189]

Good morning Marines
Im seeking help from Marines and parents of Marines, for a couple of years now I have been thinking about joining. I have seen the recruiter three times, have done non stop research on them, and know what im getting myself into. I told my parents a couple of weeks ago that im thinking about joining and my father thinks it's great, however my mother didn't say a word. A couple of days ago I told them that i will be taking the ASVAB on the 21 (tomorrow) and my mother flipped. She said I was very stupid, called me all kinds of names, and said this will be your worst mistake. This went on for an hour till we were both blue in the face, and after I told her why I want to join numerous times, she said im throwing my life away and being selfish. She has not talked to me since, and has stopped talking to my father as well because he supports me going. This is getting out of hand, so my question is Marines did you have a similar problem when you first told your parents or loved ones you were thinking about it. Parents of Marines did you at first freak out or did you tell them we support you, I can use some advice on how to go about this from Marines and parents.
Thank you for your time

[dhenderson88]

I can understand your Mom's concern, she has probably seen a lot about the Marines in Marjeh on the news and is just worried you'll get hurt. I think joining the Mairnes was the best thing I ever did. I don't really see how it can be throwing your life away, if you don't like it, you get out after four years, don't be stupid and think you hate it so much that you do whatever you can to dip out early, then you don't get your benefits. After you get out you can pretty much get paid to go to college with the way the new GI bill works. I believe she'll get over it if you do decide to join, then when you're walking across that parade deck with your EGA she'll understand and be prouder of you than she ever has. I hope this helps, God bless.

[JR189]

Thank you dhenderson, yes i understand that I may not like it however if that was the case i would make the most of it. I am doing a good thing serving my country i am sure that would alone be enough to keep anyone going. My reasons for joining are to see the world, meet new people, learn a new way of life/job, and most of all i want to serve my country. Tho I understand what you are trying to get thru to me Thank You

[Lisa 23]

How about trying this...next time you meet with your recruiter, asks if he/she can come over to your house and talk/meet with your parents. Sometimes this helps with the parents who's against you joining. They get to talk with a Marine and ask whatever questions that have concerns over.
Hope this helps.....and good luck to you.

Oh, and try not to argue with your mom over this till you're both blue in the face. It's only natural that moms worry.

[JR189]

yes Ma'am your absolutely right I know it will be hard on my parents because they worry I didn't mean to sound one sided. Im taking the ASVAB tomorrow and if I do good enough that i can proceed then i was planning on asking my recruiter if he can come over. Thank you very much for the advice

[doc h fmf]

John If All Else Fail,ask Your Mom To Join The Navy,go Into The Corpman Rating Ask To Become An 8404 Field Med Tech Or Devil Doc And Go That Way Ooooooooooorrrraaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. I Was A Devil Doc For 5 Years Was A Marine Wanaby ,good Luck To You.

Stephen Doc Hansen Hm3 Fmf

[Rocky C]

I can understand your Mom's concern, she has probably seen a lot about the Marines in Marjeh on the news and is just worried you'll get hurt. I think joining the Mairnes was the best thing I ever did. I don't really see how it can be throwing your life away, if you don't like it, you get out after four years, don't be stupid and think you hate it so much that you do whatever you can to dip out early, then you don't get your benefits. After you get out you can pretty much get paid to go to college with the way the new GI bill works. I believe she'll get over it if you do decide to join, then when you're walking across that parade deck with your EGA she'll understand and be prouder of you than she ever has. I hope this helps, God bless.

[Apache]

There is no sinmple answer
Your parents put a lot of effort getting you to your present age and are very nervous.
Joining was the best thing I ever did---------
No regrets

[usmcdanno]

Do it! Especially if it feels right for you. I personally feel that it is very selfish of your mother to act in such a manner. Does she feel that it's ok for other people's children to serve but not you? Ask her that. Some of the smartest most successful people in America have served this country and it only made them an even better person. Perhaps she is confused as to the difference between "throwing your life away" and serving your country in an honorable way. Our freedom isn't free mom. No mom's son is above serving this nation. Good luck convincing her. Hopefully she will see the light.

[foreverproud]

JR189,

I understand your mom's worry, being a Marine mom, but I completely do not agree with her choice to refer to your decision as being "selfish" or "throwing your life away." I am assuming that you are 18 or over ... it is often hard for parents to realize that once their child is 18, that they ... the parents need to realize that it's time to let go. You are not only legal, but once out of high school you have dreams/ambitions that are your own and it is my belief that no parent should try to squander or put-down those dreams (of course, as long as those dreams are law-biding and moral).

Don't argue with your mom, she loves you ... I'm sure you know this. Arguing will only lead to hurtful things being said that sometimes take a long time to forget. Although her support/understanding would be great at this time, you truly do not need it. You have your dad's support and I am sure .... in time ... you will have your mom's support as well. You have said that you have done your research over the past couple of years and your reasons for wanting to join are mature and sensible ... and much the same as were my son's reasons. Ask yourself this question .... if you do not join the Marines ... if your mom's or any others person's fears or objections were to influence you not to join, how will you feel 5 years from now? Resentful? This could apply to any career or goals, not just the Marines, but if someone talks you out of something you truly want to pursue because of their own fears or needs ... then I believe ... there is always a feeling of disappointment or looking backwards. But, only you can make this decision and you need to clear your head of all the influences of your parents, family, friends ... an recruiters.

You can have your mom visit the recruiter's office or ask for a recruiter to visit your home, but I would only do so if you feel comfortable with that and if you feel reasonable sure that the atmosphere of the "talk" will remain calm.

You know, we moms think there are things we just "won't or can't live through" the entire time our kids our growing up ... but we do. I think someone else mentioned you standing on the parade deck at graduation ... well, a parent can't help but be filled with pride when they see their son or daughter standing tall and strong.

The very best to you... your dad and your mom.

[usmcdanno]

Well said Mom. Can you be my mom for a while?

[foreverproud]

JR189,

Just one parting thought.... a child owes a good parent respect and reciprocal love, but never does that child owe a parent their own individual future or dreams.

***

usmcdanno ...

[stevelong2]

Part of becoming a man or woman is making your own decisions, think them through, consider your options and go with your best interests. Only you can decide what you should do, others are here to guide you along the way. There are good aspects and bad ones, life is what you make of those aspects, whether you let them get you down or build you up. Sometimes it takes scars but eventually we heal and move on. When I told my father, (former AF Capt) that I had joined the Marines and Enlisted, he got rid of all my belongings and told me I had all I needed (what the Corps Issued me after basic). He was right. I am now living with my dad attending college using the new GI Bill. Parents are family, the Corps will become your family and family always sticks together. SEMPERFI!!!

[usmcdanno]

My dad was a career Air Force man. He had 26 years in. When I told my mom that I had joined the Marine Corps, she was none too happy! After I joined, I never heard a negative word or any animosity about it. I don't think she ever really liked it, but she grew to accept it. Hopefully all moms can. Its not an easy decision for a young man to make, especially if it pi**ses the mama off. If mama ain't happy, nobody's gonna be happy, but I think once you do it, she'll be fine with it. Good luck young man. Either way, I hope it works out well for you.

[JR189]

I would like to thank everyone for the great advice and kind words. I talked with my mother the other day more about it and everything went great. I took the ASVAB yesterday and im waiting for my results, I will keep you all informed. Again thank you very much