How do I break the news?

[Mfischer20]

Hello everyone

My name is Max Fischer, I was born in Germany and moved to the US when I was about 6. I am eligible for joining The Marines which I am taking heavily into consideration. (Or should I say, the Marines are giving me the oppurtunity? ) Ive graduated from high school in 2007 and now taking many classes at a community college. My MAIN stumbling block is how do I break the news to my parents?

Ive searched before but I was only able to find responses like, "I just told them im leaving for the Marines."
Ive talked to my father about this several times before and he is supportive, and when I bring it up to my mom, its literally turns into a shouting match.

So how should I approach this? Or should I just accept that there is going to be resistance?
(My mother watches too much Nancy Grace)

[jrhd97]

There may be resistance. Remember, be calm. Do not allow yourself to get into a shouting match. Tell her what you are doing and tell her all you want is her support, but even if not you are still going. She might throw a fit, but give her time.

[samthomas]

Explain your reasons, and try to understand their concerns. At the end of the day, it is your decision.

[Mfischer20]

What if I were to bring a recruiter home and have him speak to her? I'm kind of against bringing him or her into such a hostile(?) environment but I don't have all the answers while he or she may.

[samthomas]

What are her objections?

[polizei]

Honestly, you might think it's hard...but it's really not. All I did was say "mom, we need to talk" then I told her, and later my dad. They obviously both threw a fit and basically yelled at me and told me I wasn't going...but now they're proud of me and understand a little bit of why I did it.

They will learn through time, but it WILL take time. I would say mine might have been a little more difficult for the fact that my dads dad (my grandpa) was a Marine that fought on Iwo Jima. Not exactly a strong point...also, the current war made it harder too, but that's part of the job.

Oh, and you said you graduated high school? Well, if your 18, just do it if you want, they can't say anything. It's YOUR life, and YOUR decision. Make it based upon YOU, or you will regret it forever. Fear is temporary, regret is forever.

[Zulu 36]

You're an adult. You can gently remind her of that fact and that you are making your own life decisions now. While you should value her input, ultimately it's your decision.

It is good that your father is supportive. Mom will probably come around about the day you show up at home on boot leave in uniform.

[sparkie]

Giving it time is the best option. Relax and wait. Throwing in someones face every day won't help.

[Mfischer20]

What are her objections?

Typical mother concerns.
"Youll get shot" , "You can die" , "Youll be deployed over sea's"
Things like that.

[MD8724]

Go to bootcamp, then, 3 months later, show up at your parents house. They will be so happy to see you alive that they wont care that you joined at that point.

[Zulu 36]

Typical mother concerns.
"Youll get shot" , "You can die" , "Youll be deployed over sea's"
Things like that.

Answers: Maybe. Maybe. I was born overseas, so I've already deployed once coming here.

Seriously, you could bring the recruiter over (give him a heads up first). Recruiters deal with reluctant parents all of the time. But, it still comes down to it being your life. And you are an adult, not a teenager still in high school.

I was lucky to have two supportive parents (my father wanted to bribe the recruiter to take me sooner, none of that DEP crap ). My dad was a WWII Marine and a combat vet, so he had no illusions.

My mom was worried everyday I was in Vietnam (my dad had died in the meantime). But, then again, she was worried everyday I was in Desert Storm too (and I was married, had a kid, and worked as a cop).

Just like I'm worried every day my oldest daughter is in Afghanistan now. My ex and I support her 110% (the ex is a former Coast Guardswoman, so she has BTDT too). Good parents are supposed to worry about this stuff, they have a lot of love invested in you.

The apron strings have to be cut sooner or later. Better sooner. Be polite and respectful, but firm in your resolve if being a Marine is what you really want.

[Phantom Blooper]

Tell them that you are pregnant....even though you are a male.

Then after the initial shock tell them that you are joining the Marine Corps.

Allot of good advice has been given here.

Read some of the threads in the Poolee Forum....there is more opinions and ways to break the news to the parents.

If you are living at home on the parents dime....consider alternative living arrangements until you see what the future holds.

Again you are of legal age...no permission required....your parents are living and have lived their life....now you have to live yours.

Remember that they are your parents and to be respectful at all times.

Good advice is to have the recruiter set up a time either to come to the house...or to meet at the RSS.

[brian0351]

Typical mother concerns.
"Youll get shot" , "You can die" , "Youll be deployed over sea's"
Things like that.

Lol...you live in the US now. You have a greater chance of the above happening on your drive to work in the States than you do in the Marine Corps.

If she want to fight you on it. Simply, give her a kiss, tell her you love her and that your going to join. A mother will put up a fight if she thinks there is a way to change your mind. She will come to terms with it on her own.

[teuffelhunden]

Listen there is no one right way or wrong way to break the news. I know that once I made the announcement my whole family thought that I had lost my mind, but by the time rolled around for me to go to boot camp most of them were at least supportive with the exception of my mom and dad. But when they came to graduation and saw the transformation they were my biggest supporters. I promise you If you truly want to be A Marine then it is your decision and you have to make that decision but your family will eventually come around.

[silverdollar]

Just tell Mom that it must be the German in you but you just want to kill something.