Smacked children more successful later in life, study finds

[Rocky C]

I agree that there should be consequences to negative actions, but those consequences should not include physical punishment in my opinion. For example, denying certain priviledges can be just as effective. Grounding them, taking away tv, taking away an allowance, sending them to bed without dinner, etc. Or for more serious offenses, you can scare the sh!t out of them by taking them to a jail and having them spend the night.

Spanking is not a very effective tool. Studies show it teaches kids to avoid being caught more than teaching them be good. Instead striking them, you should make them understand why certain behaviors are bad and develop a sense of morals in them in order to correct certain behaviors in the future. Sometimes spanking can backfire. It can cause anti-social or aggresive behavior which could lead to some psychological problems down the road.

How were you raised Commdog by your parents and what whould you do different when you become a Mother ?

You said you were studying this in College so I am not looking for a Case study.

Real World vs Textbook.

[commdog7]

There is a very fine line between child abuse and spanking, and that line is getting finer and finer as the years go by.

GSEMarine94- The college text book I had for this child psychology class was: Child Development by Laura E. Berk (2006). I also had to do research on the subject for a class assignment, and all credible studies that I stumbled upon stated condemned corporal punishment. It is obsolete and there are better ways to be a good parent.

[commdog7]

How were you raised Commdog by your parents and what whould you do different when you become a Mother ?

I was spanked and hit plenty of times growing up. But I don't believe in that form of punishment and I will never let it be done to my kid. If someone ever tried to lay a hand on my kid, I would kill them.

That doesn't mean that my kid's is going to grow up soft, they will still be punished. I expect my kid to get in fights with other kids and do whatever kids do. They just won't have an adult striking them- I won't have it.

[giveen]

So what are you going to do when your 2 year old reaches for that hot stove?
Over and over and over and over
Over and over and over and over
Over and over and over and over
Over and over and over and over
Over and over and over and over
Over and over and over and over
Over and over and over and over


Keep telling him "no"?

[firedog974]

My brother spouted that "I will never spank my kid" stuff too.....Until his kid turned four and was COMPLETELY off the chain and out of control.........

[Rocky C]

I was spanked and hit plenty of times growing up. But I don't believe in that form of punishment and I will never let it be done to my kid. If someone ever tried to lay a hand on my kid, I would kill them.

That doesn't mean that my kid's is going to grow up soft, they will still be punished. I expect my kid to get in fights with other kids and do whatever kids do. They just won't have an adult striking them- I won't have it.

As the years go by and these posts are in the Archives we shall see if it comes to be once you are a Parent.

I think you'll change your mind................

[commdog7]

Giveen: I would warn him of the consequences (getting burned), but I would not stop him. He gets burned, oh well, should've listened to mommy.

Now if it's something where he could get seriously injured, such as tipping over a pot of boiling water on himself, then I would stop him from doing it, yell at him, and make sure he understands what could've happened. If he does attempt it once again, I would think up some sort of punishment, sending him to his room or something.

This happened to me once when I was little. My brother tried to get me to touch the burning stove, and my Grandma just told me of the consecquences but didn't stop me. I learned my lesson the hard way, and I also learned to listen to my Grandma when she told me not to do something.

[Isrowei]

There is a very fine line between child abuse and spanking, and that line is getting finer and finer as the years go by.

GSEMarine94- The college text book I had for this child psychology class was: Child Development by Laura E. Berk (2006). I also had to do research on the subject for a class assignment, and all credible studies that I stumbled upon stated condemned corporal punishment. It is obsolete and there are better ways to be a good parent.

I guess if you read it in a text book, it must be true, huh? There is more liberal agenda in "psychology" than you can shake a stick at.


Like I said, wait till you're a parent. All the studies in the world won't hold a candle to when you actually experience what child raising is about. Arguing beforehand is like trying to explain the concept of burning fire to someone who has never seen it but only read about it.

[jrhd97]

Giveen: I would warn him of the consequences (getting burned), but I would not stop him. He gets burned, oh well, should've listened to mommy.

Now if it's something where he could get seriously injured, such as tipping over a pot of boiling water on himself, then I would stop him from doing it, yell at him, and make sure he understands what could've happened. If he does attempt it once again, I would think up some sort of punishment, sending him to his room or something.

This happened to me once when I was little. My brother tried to get me to touch the burning stove, and my Grandma just told me of the consecquences but didn't stop me. I learned my lesson the hard way, and I also learned to listen to my Grandma when she told me not to do something.

So you would yell at him, which would show that you are angry and there will not be any consequence from you for his actions. Sure the stove will hurt for a short time, but he will know all you will do is yell and take something away for a short time. No biggie.
Working in childrens ministry I can tell you which kids are spanked out of love and which ones are yelled at or ignored. The yelling and ignoring is a greater disservice to little Johnny than the spanking.

[commdog7]

Let's agree to disagree. I'm not going to change your mind, and you're not going to change mine.

[giveen]

Giveen: I would warn him of the consequences (getting burned), but I would not stop him. He gets burned, oh well, should've listened to mommy.

Now if it's something where he could get seriously injured, such as tipping over a pot of boiling water on himself, then I would stop him from doing it, yell at him, and make sure he understands what could've happened. If he does attempt it once again, I would think up some sort of punishment, sending him to his room or something.

And that may work....and it may not.

Children are extremely stubborn and want their way.
My 9 month old is very set on pulling down my VCR/DVD player/Wii down on his head.

We have said no multiple times, lightly smacked his hands when he reaches for it, moved him to a different room, distracted him with toys and guess what?

2 seconds later he is going for it again.

So you may end up with a darling little angel who is a perfect child. Mostly likely you will get a real child who wants his way.

[Rocky C]

Giveen: I would warn him of the consequences (getting burned), but I would not stop him. He gets burned, oh well, should've listened to mommy.

WOW!!!
From someone that doesn't believe in Spanking to letting a 2 year old Child get Burned ???

Now there's a Condradiction if I ever saw one!!!

[giveen]

Yeah, now THAT is child abuse.

[0331 2 0369]

So you would yell at him, which would show that you are angry and there will not be any consequence from you for his actions. Sure the stove will hurt for a short time, but he will know all you will do is yell and take something away for a short time. No biggie.
Working in childrens ministry I can tell you which kids are spanked out of love and which ones are yelled at or ignored. The yelling and ignoring is a greater disservice to little Johnny than the spanking.

You hit the nail on the head with that one.

I have seen parents do nothing but yell at their kids. What do the kids do?????? Yell back. To them that is the way things work as far as they know. They will grow up yelling because that is the way they were taught.

A smack across the rump (when needed) sends the message that they were wrong and that stinging will go away shortly. A little pain never hurt anyone. Just used restraint when it comes to dealing out punishment.

[commdog7]

RI: That's learning by direct experience.

You spank a kid, it may not necessarily teach them the effects of the action (getting burned), it will just teach them not to do it when an adult it around (not get caught). You let the kid find out for himself why he shouldn't touch the hot stove, then it doesn't matter if an adult is around or not, the kid is not going to touch it again.

It's not about pain, it's about trusting the parent. Spanking them probably won't develop trust, but letting them learn on their own and warning them of their actions will make them realize that you are acting in their best interest.


Giveen- My kid will be a little angel.