The "Inevitable Question"

[lagrand]

Thank you for all of your responses. I can understand that a lot of it is out of morbid curiosity or that they are just oblivious to the fact that is may be disrespectful and/or innappropriate. The part that irritated me was when he smiled/laughed when he asked and when his question was answered. I believe he felt as though it was a laughing matter. If a Marine takes time out of his busy schedule to come share his experiences with a group of students, I personally believe that topic should be taboo unless offered up by the Marine him/herself. I appreciate the feedback.

[Patriot34]

Im not taking sides here but whatever happened to all the "Get Sooooome!" and Gun Ho guys? My friend uncle was in Vietnam, he is one of the most motivated MArines i have ever met. He isnt very excited about his experiences and doesnt really brag, but when he tells stories i can see he is getting pumped and he says he does not regret joining the Corps and going to War and "taking the lives of the enemies to defend his fellow Americans". IDK i am just saying, its very different, it seems most military fighters are contempt about discussing thjeir experiences while others reflect and are Gun Ho all over again

I believe all soldiers are different when they come back from combat. Some don't seem different but they hurt on the inside. Some you can see that the war(s) are a very touchy subject. Combat is something that no one likes to be in or take part in. My great grandfather (he's 91) just started talking about WWII openly. It is still a very touchy subject for him and some other Vietnam vets and Korean vets that are in my family. I never bring the war(s) up.

[Hendrix]

It seems to be different for everyone. Just as with you Patriot, my grandfather has just started to talk about his experiences during Vietnam. It is obviously a very touchy subject, and as many have said in this thread, is inappropriate to ask a veteran of any war

[LeonardLawrence]

Some thoughts. I have heard this question before and still think it is rude on a personal level. With that said, it doesn't offend me. I also temper in the fact that there is a morbid curiousity to the question and that I represent 232 years of Rompin' Stompin to someone for those few minutes, at least.

I take a look at the question. Something like "Have you ever gotten to kill someone" seems a bit harsher and more voyeuristic to me than "have you ever had to kill someone in performance of your duties?". I always answer the question honestly, but try to temper it with the answer that sometimes there is a necessity to such things. By doing this, I hope in my mind, that I am educating someone that while there is an ugly side, it isn't as glorious, pumped up, or as voyeuristic as it was when they asked. Maybe it will spare someone else from hearing the question, who knows.

My experience is when a vet wants to talk, shut up and listen, but don't go prying too hard about personal experiences at first.

[rambHOE]

My grandpa never talked about the Korean war. Only thing I ever heard him say about the war before he died was when we were watching M*A*S*H* and he walked by the TV and said "Those were not places for comedy" and walked away.

Theres a retired teacher at my school who came in to talk about is experiences in Vietnam, and right off he said, "If you ask me if I killed or shot anyone, I will ignore you and move on to the next question". When he found out I intended on joining the Marines he started talking to me about the military and he just kinda kept talking and I found out 2 weeks before he was supposed to leave Vietnam, his platoon walked right into an ambush and he was one of the few lucky ones.

[davblay]

I walked into my second period classroom and my teacher had a visitor standing with him. The visitor went on to introduce himself as a Marine who had just gotten back from a 15 month deployment to Iraq as an MP. The discussion we had was very engaging and I was enjoying up until the "inevitable question" was asked...

"Did you ever get to kill someone?"

Ironically, the kid who asked the question looked straight at me. I stared back at him and shook my head letting him know that was not the right question to ask to ask a war vet. Meanwhile, the Marine responded respectfully but firmly with a "Yes" then went on to answer other questions.

My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.

Edit: Before I get chastised, I am not in school right now as we had early release.

As a part of my recruiting mission for the Army, I had to teach High school, or middle school students for one day each year in every school in my area of operation. That was over 35 schools. It was a PR thing in the 80s around here and I enjoyed it for the most part. I taught filling out job applications and writing resume's.

Wearing the Army uniform I wore my "I love me ribbons" on my shirt as well as in my Blouse, so that question was always, without a doubt asked of me in every class during the day.

Me knowing the mentality of these fine teenagers, I simply answered that I, as all other service men in combat, did my job, whatever that may have been. I never dwelled on the subject and I moved on with the class. Between classes there were only 5 minutes for them to get to thier next class and the subject was generally dropped. If some of them wanted to discuss my Combat roll I made appointments with them in my office at a later date. I enlisted a few people that way, I might add.

Now is it appropriate.....well that depends on the curiousity of the individual person asking it. Could I have made a spectical of the situation? Of course I could. But I didn't, I gave a generic answer that any serviceman could live with, and told the truth at the same time!

If you are ever fortunate, or unfortunate, enough to be close to several Veterans talking about the war, you will see that it is easier to chat amongst people that have been there and done that, so to speak. War and Combat, is not pretty! It is not glorious, and there are no winners, except the people that own the companies that make the weapons and ammo for the war! All the participants are the victims, in one way or another.

So the Marine answered in a very professional manner and is to be commended!

Semper Fi,

Dave

[FeMzZ]

i wouldnt consider it disrespectful

the military appeals to young kids ecause of the different experience you get as a combat soldier. how many highschool kids can say they were in combat and actually fought the enemy? they are curious, as am i, and hearing stories about the experiences of combat SOMETIMES is fun. LAst year my U.S. history teacher was an ex-cop(narcotics) and everyone begged him to tell us stories because they were experiences we've never had before. And the stories were always great....except combat soldiers have better stories

[VIKDEM1ZE]

I wouldn't enjoy answering the question, but I don't find it wrong or disrespectful that someone would ask. I've always been interested before I signed with the Military.