The "Inevitable Question"

[lagrand]

I walked into my second period classroom and my teacher had a visitor standing with him. The visitor went on to introduce himself as a Marine who had just gotten back from a 15 month deployment to Iraq as an MP. The discussion we had was very engaging and I was enjoying up until the "inevitable question" was asked...

"Did you ever get to kill someone?"

Ironically, the kid who asked the question looked straight at me. I stared back at him and shook my head letting him know that was not the right question to ask to ask a war vet. Meanwhile, the Marine responded respectfully but firmly with a "Yes" then went on to answer other questions.

My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.

Edit: Before I get chastised, I am not in school right now as we had early release.

[Jonny Destroyer]

I walked into my second period classroom and my teacher had a visitor standing with him. The visitor went on to introduce himself as a Marine who had just gotten back from a 15 month deployment to Iraq as an MP. The discussion we had was very engaging and I was enjoying up until the "inevitable question" was asked...

"Did you ever get to kill someone?"

Ironically, the kid who asked the question looked straight at me. I stared back at him and shook my head letting him know that was not the right question to ask to ask a war vet. Meanwhile, the Marine responded respectfully but firmly with a "Yes" then went on to answer other questions.

My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.

Edit: Before I get chastised, I am not in school right now as we had early release.

Honestly, thats not something a Marine likes to be asked if he's been overseas, because 1) He's probably heard it a million times before, and 2) He might not have been comfortable with killing anyone, or he might of had to kill a woman or child. Its just something you shouldnt bring up. A lot of Marines arent comfortable talking about their war experiences with civilians.

-CPL Maines

[mrbsox]

My question to everyone on the forum is what are your thoughts on being asked this question? I've heard from many that it is very innappropriate and that they would, without a doubt, put this unknowledgable high school student in his place. I would like to hear from you all what your thoughts are on this. I appreciate your feedback and God bless.

I will CAREFULLY try to start this off, from a NON-COMBAT vets point of view.

My reply would be YES, it is OK to ask.

And I think the straight short answer was the best, 'YES', and go on to another subject.

The Marine will have to (and probably already has) asked himself that very question. And he has to live with the answer. If he can live with it in public, then he can live with it in private.

If he cannot live with it, then he has other questions to answer, and should seek those answers thru what ever professional arenas are deemed necessary.

Once again, I never had to answer that question to myself or anyone else, so mine is a one sided response. But I also think it is open minded and realistic.

[drwilkinson]

I don't know why it's anybody's business whether or not you killed someone. I woudn't answer the question regardless.

[Ryan1234]

I just thing its bad to ask that because now a lot of people are suffering from PTSD and having someone ask them if they killed someone might bring terrible memories and distraught thoughts to the Combat Vet. I mean its like asking a Senior how old they are except in a more extreme form.

[NeedSomePT]

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?

[dmdenike]

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?

They vary. Depends on your unit and sometimes your MOS.

[Camper51]

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?

Then shut up and don't hijack the thread. Post a new thread with the question you want answered...

[Camper51]

As to the original question. NO it would not be polite to ask, however some people have a morbid curiosity and cannot help themselves.

Why would you possibly want to know that answer? Does it make the Marine feel like a killer to you?

What possible use would the answer be to you, except to satisfy a morbid curiosity? Would you ask the same question of your local policeman? Your local politician who went to a war zone on a fact finding mission?

You are correct in assuming that it would be an inappropriate question. The Marine, to his credit, chose to answer and go on...

[Twitchell]

My nephew when he was in third grade asked me to come to his career day, where a parent, or family member comes and talk's about they're work. I went in my blue's, and all the kids were mistified cause it was a small town and none of these kids had even seen a Marine in person before.
Well, I got the same question. "I think the poolee was right about the inevitable part". I looked at the teacher with a, (should I answer, type of look). I said no, but if my answer would have been yes, would some kid go home telling his mom he met a killer today or something, freakin out? This after all was a bunch of third graders. You can't really blame the kid either though. He probably did'nt know the question was inapropriate.

I think it's an inapropriate question, but everyone that ask's that question may not realize it is inapropriate. I think the yes/no answer is probably the best and move onto another question.

[rvillac2]

It should be noted that anyone answering that question eagerly and enthusiastically should set off your BS detector. The guys that don't talk about it much and/or downplay that part of their service are the real professionals.

[Zulu 36]

I was asked that question a lot as a police officer dealing with school children. Probably the only other question asked more often was, "Can you show us your gun?" The best answer is an honest answer and move on. Kids, including teenagers, are curious about these things. That's life (and death).

The rude question would be, "Did you enjoy killing people?"

[crazymjb]

If you are going to give a presentation, I think you should be prepared to answer all reasonable questions. For example, my recruiter gave a presentation to my ethics class on war. Being a senior highschool class we didn't have any issues of immaturity, but a question regarding his personal experience would not have been unreasonable. No, it didn't come up.

That said, I don't think it really needs to be asked with no relation to a subject being discussed, IE, just out of morbid curiousity.

Mike

[FeMzZ]

Im not taking sides here but whatever happened to all the "Get Sooooome!" and Gun Ho guys? My friend uncle was in Vietnam, he is one of the most motivated MArines i have ever met. He isnt very excited about his experiences and doesnt really brag, but when he tells stories i can see he is getting pumped and he says he does not regret joining the Corps and going to War and "taking the lives of the enemies to defend his fellow Americans". IDK i am just saying, its very different, it seems most military fighters are contempt about discussing thjeir experiences while others reflect and are Gun Ho all over again

[lagrand]

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I've always heard that Marines get 7 month deployments, especially from my recruiters. Did he volunteer to stay longer or am I not being told all the facts by my recruiters and other people I've tlaked to?

He volunteered to extend his tour of duty.