Thursday, November 29, 2007
Mom: ‘I thought as soon as the funeral was over, we would be forgotten ...’

Zimmerman
Public Affairs Chief

Editor’s note: On top of overseeing all of Quantico’s security operations, Col. Richard Anderson has voluntarily taken on an additional duty. He has pledged to the families of the four Marines who died while under his command in Iraq that the fallen will not be forgotten. This is the second article in a four-part series telling those heroes’ important stories.

Lance Cpl. Carl L. Raines II, 20, killed Oct. 6, 2005, by an improvised explosive device while conducting combat operations against enemy forces near Qaim, Iraq.

‘‘I knew he wasn’t coming home ... mother’s instinct,” said Gillian Raines, Carl’s mother. ‘‘I was angry at the Marine Corps, but not bitter. Carl going to Iraq – that was his choice. He said, ‘If my buddies are going, then I’m going.’”

More in the family might have had the same feelings before Carl left for his second tour in Iraq. While at home on leave in Enterprise, Ala., Carl’s younger sister, Alex, held a baseball bat and told their mom to spin him around in the chair he was in so she could hit him in the knee to keep him from deploying.

Despite losing Carl more than two years ago, Gillian said the death of Carl is just starting to hit Alex.

‘‘Alex really hasn’t done any grieving yet ... she’s just starting to come to terms with it,” Gillian said. ‘‘Me, I’ve never stopped grieving.”

Gillian said Carl and Alex weren’t too close growing up, fighting like cats and dogs, but that changed after he joined the Marine Corps. While in recruit training, Gillian said Carl wrote a letter to Alex, telling her how much he appreciated her, and the two were very close after that. Alex now sports an Eagle, Globe and Anchor tattoo in memory of her brother.

Others in the family were also affected: Gillian’s oldest son, Lee, who lives in England; and Tracey, Carl’s oldest sister, who is married and has a family. His oldest niece, Samantha, had to complete a school project on her ‘‘hero” – she chose her late uncle. While Carl’s nephew Austin was old enough to understand, Gillian said Katie, another niece, are just now old enough to start asking questions about what happened.

Keeping Carl fresh in Gillian’s mind is her 5-year-old grandson Brandon, who reminds his grandmother of her son.

Like many parents realize, Gillian knew Carl was no angel, ‘‘But he never got caught,” she said with a hint of laughter. She said Carl was a ‘‘terror” at times, but was always a good student. Standing at 6 feet, 3 inches tall, Gillian said her son was a hit with the ladies and ‘‘always had a different girl on his arm.”

With a bit of a temper, Gillian said Carl was well suited for football, which he played when he was younger. In high school though, he gave up the sport for another school activity.

‘‘He knew he would join the military, so he said he didn’t want to play football anymore,” she said. ‘‘He joined [his high school’s Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps] because he wanted to do something that would better him.”

Gillian said Carl worked hard at JROTC on the drill team, which he set his sites on becoming commander of. He reached that goal and ruled his team with an iron fist.

‘‘They called him Hitler because he took no BS,” Gillian said.

After Carl’s death, some of his high school friends got together and bought the JROTC commander’s sword from Enterprise High School and presented it to her. She now proudly displays that sword in front of a picture of Carl.

What Gillian misses most about her son are the little things, like when he would be on his way home from Camp Lejeune to visit, but would call and say he was doing nothing just before showing up at the house. She also misses his somewhat twisted sense of humor.

‘‘On his 18th birthday I told him he could get either $1 or $10 for every year of his life,” Gillian recalled. ‘‘But to get $10, he had to clean his room, which he did. But when I opened his closet door, I nailed him, he stuffed everything in his closet. He just said, ‘You didn’t say what to do with it.’”

After Carl’s death, Gillian doesn’t remember much about her first contact with Anderson because she was still in shock and had blocked everything out. She said the continued contact is welcomed though.

‘‘He has a radar ... if I’m down he senses it and calls,” said Gillian. ‘‘I think I would have gone under, I would have given up [if it weren’t for Anderson]. I was in shock that he kept calling, I thought as soon as the funeral was over, we would be forgotten, but that’s not the case.”

Anderson said he still calls the families because it’s his duty, and he’s not going to assume that someone else will call and help them.

‘‘My responsibility as a commander doesn’t end with a letter,” Anderson said. ‘‘It’s the least we can do for what they give up, so their family knows their sacrifice is honored.”

Whenever Anderson calls, Gillian said they just talk about how her family is and how Anderson is doing.

‘‘To me [Anderson] has become a friend,” she said. ‘‘He’s been really great, and that means a lot to me.”

Anderson echoed Gillian’s feelings.

‘‘They [the families] are friends now,” he said. ‘‘I try to keep them upbeat and listen to them. They have good and bad times ... it’s a big strain on their lives.”

When her son died, Gillian’s marriage also fell apart, but she said things are slowly getting better.

‘‘Losing Carl is not something I’ll ever get over, but it gets a little better each day,” she said. ‘‘If I can get through the day without shedding a few tears then I had a good day. There’s not a day that goes by that he’s not thought of.”

Holiday seasons, Carl’s birthday and special family times are the hardest to deal with, Gillian said, but her mind is somewhat at ease because, ‘‘I know where he is, and no one can hurt him.”

Ellie