What are your birthday ball do's and don'ts?

[thedrifter]

November 09, 2006
Birthday ball do’s and don’ts

By C. Mark Brinkley
Staff writer

Merry Corpsgiving. Happy Corpsmas. Have a holly, jolly Marineoween.

Stuck between Halloween and Thanksgiving — like a hand grenade pin, just waiting to be pulled — comes Nov. 10 and with it, the Corps’ birthday celebration.

For 85 years, the holiday has been the social event of the season for Marines and their guests. Just thinking about a monster chunk of sheet cake loaded with icing — washed down with a bottle of tequila and a ball date in her, well, “birthday” suit — makes us wish the annual festival had a killer nickname.

Marineapalooza. Mardi Corps. Marine Prom.

Traditionally, wherever they happen to be, Marines celebrate the Corps’ birthday by sharing a baked sweetsy and a holiday meal.

Sounds easy, and yet, the birthday ball doesn’t always go smoothly.

Someone forgets to buy tickets. Shows up wearing the same dress. Remembers to bring the Jagermeister. Remembers an old grudge.

Still, the birthday ball is a time honored tradition, the must-do social event of the season for leathernecks current and former, and their guests. It’s a chance to get dressed up, forget about the troubles of the world and just be normal, at least for one night.

As normal as you can be, anyway, with your neck encased in a tall, tight collar,

So don’t screw it up. As the big night approaches, consider our list of “Top 5 Birthday Ball Don’ts and Do’s.”

It might keep you out of jail, out of your commander’s office, or out of divorce court. Or all three, depending on how much fun you had.

You might even make it to next year’s November Fool’s Day.

The voice of experience

1. Don’t get drunk. No seriously, don’t. “All the other don’ts stem from that one,” said one Marine major who asked us not to print his name, lest he be called a hypocrite this weekend. “Like, asking the (commanding general’s) wife to dance, pinching her on the butt — all that comes from drinking.”

2. Do be discreet. Ok, so you aren’t even considering Rule No. 1 as a serious option. We saw that coming. But know this: one in four active-duty Marines, nearly 50,000 of the hard chargers, is old enough to go to war but still too young to drink. (Hey, don’t blame us, tell Congress.) For those who fit this description, getting a head start before the ball might seem like a good idea. Fight the urge. Someone who outranks you will notice, and that person might not remember what it was like to be 19.

3. Don’t go home hungry. “While attending one ball, we went outside to have a quick drink and a cigar,” said retired Marine Sgt. Kevin Phillips, founder of www.MyMarineCorpsBall.com, a Web site designed to help units to coordinate and plan their balls. “By the time we went back in, dinner had been served and cleared.” Phillips’ Web site, which streamlines a lot of the birthday ball logistics (for a nominal fee), continues to grow. After serving only two units last year, the list grew to eight this year.

4. Do get a professional haircut. We know your roommate has a set of clippers and can do it for you really quick. We do not care. People take pictures at birthday balls. Pictures have a way of making the e-mail rounds. ‘Nuff said.

5. Don’t invite her. If your date is a porn star, leave her at home. (Right, Tito?)Afraid she’ll be lonely? Drop her off at your local Marine Corps Times office. We’ll keep her company.

What are your birthday ball do's and don'ts?

Ellie

[ringoffire]

Never have two dates for the Ball. I know it sounds like a no brainer, but this actually happened to a friend of ours.

The Marine was divorced and asked a girl that he was very good friends with to go to the Ball with him. She said yes, got the dress, had the hair and nails done. A week or so before the Ball The Marine met another girl, "The girl of my dreams" he said. Asked girl #2 to meet him at the Ball...she said sure. Girl #2 gets there after the dinner was over. Girl #1 realizes what is going on and that is when it gets ugly, but funny. We stayed out of the whole mess, but it was amusing watching The Marine bounce from one girl to the other. Trying to smooth things over with both of them. It was highschool drama at it's best.

Girl #1 was in tears and Girl #2 was very upset with The Marine. Needless to say by the end of the night the Girls were "best friends" and The Marine was left to ponder why he got back into the dating scene.

[Doc Crow]

I am not sure about leaving the Porn Star Girl Friend at home. But you know how corpsman can be