The Battle of the Sexes Has Begun

[devildog2B]

just a link you ought to see lol

http://hometown.aol.com/uwofb/myhomepage/personal.html

[prmama]

Manhood

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 for medium, and $14,000 for large. The man was sure he wanted a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

[prmama]

How Many Men?


How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

[prmama]

Men Suck


Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women?
- Women working at 900 numbers.

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
- In the pages of a romance novel.

What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
- Exchange him.

Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
- No phone numbers.

Why do men like smart women?
- Opposites attract.

[SGT T]

I FOUND A GUY THAT SAYS HE HAS GONE OUT WITH ALL OF YOU HIS NAME IS RICCO

[prmama]

STILL TRYING TO IMPRESS THE WOMEN

[SGT T]

I THOUGHT I IMPRESSED YOU FROM THE START

[prmama]

When ru going to realize that women are stronger then men? In more ways then one.

[JAMarine]

Here's your roomy for the day Heather.

This is actually a test of my being able to follow directions.

[prmama]

Word of advice. Was it good for u as it was for me?

[SGT T]

I DONT KNOW ABOUT JAMARINE BUT I ENJOYED IT.....LMAO

[prmama]

Here is u trying to take a peek it Lakers

[SGT T]

SO YOU CAUGHT ME SNEEKING A PEEK...WELL WHAT U DIDNT SEE IS WHERE MY DIGITAL CAMERA WAS POINTING......NICE TATTOO.....LMAO

[prmama]

Compare the genders
Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

[prmama]

I found something that men are not perfect.


http://www.theperfectjoke.com/

Enjoy it both ladies and gentlemen.

Heather