Clinton's new book

[Toby M]

Enviro, the reason we always recover is because despite inept leadership, despite a bungling government bent on making bad decisions, "we" the people, have the freedom of thought and choice (among others) . We are able to make our own decisions without needing to be led around like sheep. We bend but never break! We also have hope that maybe someday, we will choose leaders that will only have us in mind when making those decisions.
One man's opinion only...

[USMC_1983-89]

Having always been a republican, it repulsed me when that draft-dodger got into the Whitehouse. But in an effort to better understand the mindset of perhaps one of the most misunderstood presidents in the modern era, I had to buy the book and read it. In it, we see an intimate portrait of a humble, self reflective man, whose genteel manners hardly betray his modest beginnings.

Here are some excerpts from his much-anticipated book, "My Life":

On childhood…

When I was 13 and a young boy growing up in the Godforsaken land of Arkansas, I developed the two great obsessions in my life, the Oval Office and the “Oval Orafice.” At the age of fifty-eight, I am proud to say I have spent a lot of time in both. As far as which one is better? Give me the meat glove, brother!

On marriage…

When I married Hillary in 1975, I had no idea I would someday be the President of the United States of America and be able to pull a better grade of girl meat than the average borderline collegiate lesbian, which Hillary was at the time. She was certainly a rough looking dyke back then, but when you are young and your privates are shaped like a boomerang, you take what you can get. And I did. Unfortunately, I have not stopped taking what I can get. Long live Vagina! Go Razorbacks!

On fatherhood…

I used to have fun with Hillary about how ugly Chelsea was, wondering how unlucky could we be that Chelsea got her mother’s “ugly gene.” Hillary would frequently get mad at this good-natured ribbing, especially when I would speculate aloud as to which body part she actually fell out of. Even now I am just kidding. Let’s hear it for me!

On Monica Lewinsky…

I’ll admit it. Monica Lewinsky was a big fat porker whose midsection looked like gelatinous underbelly of a tender maggot, but she was female and that’s all it took for my boomerang to straighten out a few degrees! Sure she was a pig, but pigs like slop and I was determined to get mine all over her. I enjoyed our little meetings in the “Oral” office and those small acts of kindness on my DNA shooter were good stress relievers in tough times. Although the smells her body produced were sometimes overwhelming, I was able to find the good in her. I found that good just past the uvula. She was young and wanted to know the inner workings of politics and how government could improve the lives of its people, so I fed her like a baby bird after I slapped her till her face bled. I love being a guy. The real tragedy of the situation was that Ken Starr tried to use the incident to smear my good name and good reputation. So what that I tried to give her a few cigar babies and lied to the nation under oath, I didn’t do any thing wrong! F- Ken Starr, he’s a jack-ass. And you can quote me on that.

On Vince Foster…

Vince Foster’s tragic suicide only confirmed what I had suspected all along. He was gay.

On Genifer Flowers…

Genifer Flowers was a lying opportunistic b*tch who sold a bill of goods to the National Enquirer to further her own hag-like existence. On the other hand, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. So I guess everything balances out.

On Al Gore…

See Vince Foster’s widow.

On the future…

To be honest, I don’t know what I do next- a nun, or a cheerleader. Watch out.

[HardJedi]

that is HILARIOUS!

[enviro]

The point of my sarcasm about Carter is best pointed out by Toby's post.

[USMC_1983-89]

Nice job, Toby!