transition to civilian life

[cleit]

hi, a friend (he's in mid twenties) of mine just came back and i do understand military changed him still i'd love to help him with the transition back to civilian life but have no idea how to do it. any ideas would be appreciated.

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[irpat54]

one thing you will have to remember is that, the things that you all did that was fun before he was in the service may not be fun now, the things he has experienced you probably won't understand, depending on what branch he came from, will also shape his way of thinking.
in the Marine Corps, when I got out, I found it excruciatingly difficult to cope with the undisciplined civilian, and I still do today. so also note that you will not be able to relate with him as to his way of life now it may be completely different..

the best thing is to just, at first give him his space, if you tow were best friends, then wait for him to want to just hang out, and just be aware that the topics of conversation for him will be a lot different,
he may just want to go and find some military people to hang out with for a time just to have the Military conversation from time to time.

I know that's what I did for a bit, I went to the local reserve center just to unwind and wade back into civilian life. civilians can't and never will understand what Military life is all about, especially Marine Corps life, the bond between Marines transcends everything else, spouses, girlfriends and childhood best friends, it goes way beyond all of that.

hope it helps

[crazymjb]

There are plenty of great organizations out there that help vets get enrolled in school, start their career, etc. My advice to guys is always the blunt "you're not special." Might not work as well coming from you. He knows what he did, he has all the tools, not to mention financial benefits, to excel in whatever he does. Most of my close friends from college and grad school are vets. The ones who didn't make it through college either lacked maturity or thought they were somehow better than their classmates. The same probably goes for working environments.

I'll reiterate, the GI bill means he'll get paid to go to college for 4 years. If he doesn't have work lined up, it's a no brainer. Tons of vets are in school now, and the bigger universities have really strong military communities and networks.

Mike