Decisions, decisions. Seeking guidance, and advice.

[Kazru]

Greetings again folks! Thank you to those of you that replied in the last thread from several days ago. I'm back, and I have information that can help me now to proceed with deciding what it is I want to do with my future. Just a forewarning, this post might get lengthy.

I'm freshly 24 years old. I'm a commissioned police officer in the state of Ohio. But, my paying job is security at a college. Job prospects in law enforcement are not high right now. I've already been at my security job for going on 2 years now, and I absolutely feel like I'm wasting my time. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 years this October, and I wanted to join the Army when I was 18. Nobody in my family supported this decision even though I went to MEPS, and signed a contract anyways. I wasn't due to ship for months, and the pressure from everyone around me to just attend college instead got overwhelming. My girlfriend also said she would leave me if I left, and that was the nail in the coffin. I made the arrangements with my recruiter much to his displeasure, and "backed out" of going. Before anyone gets up in arms about that, even though you took an oath at MEPS it literally means nothing in terms of binding you to go. There is literally nothing they can do if you decide not to go, except belittle you. I was extremely disappointed in my myself as well, anyways.

So fast forward 6 years, and I'm bitter that I didn't do what I wanted to do with my life. I went to college, and didn't even get a degree because I lacked the discipline to do my work properly. Basically accruing debt. I attended the police academy after botching college, and graduated about 3 years ago. I got a job as an "auxiliary officer" in a 1 horse town in Ohio. The Chief holds my commission, and I never work there because it's volunteer work. I work full time, and hardly want to spend my 2 days off working for free. Essentially "experience" is your payment. I scored a job doing security work at a college (my full time), and it's a dead end job with no future prospects. We aren't commissioned officers here, just unarmed security. Most of the police departments in Ohio love to hire former service members, or people with tons of experience. I really want to get a job with Ohio State Highway Patrol, which is another animal all together. I've actually applied once, and made it to very late in the testing process as a candidate. I failed to lose weight in an allotted amount of time, and my application expired. My second choice in a department hires almost entirely service members. They have exactly 1 person who is non-military of probably a staff of 30-40 people. Not long ago a guy I work with said the Chief of my security department thinks he has me "locked down", as in I'm not going to go anywhere. That put me in panic mode as appearing unambitious (you should see the people who work here). I'm the youngest person by 14 years. I've realized I lost my way after being disappointed with failing at the Patrol.

I apologize for the huge backdrop story. I'm not seeking any consolation because the choices were mine, I just want to get things on track. So jump to current day, last week I met with a Marine Corp recruiter trying to get information regarding joining the reserves. He said I would need to lose about 10lbs, and I've lost 7 so far since Monday. My girlfriend whom I now live together with has reluctantly agreed to let me pursue the reserves, because I think as we've grown up more she now sees how it has affected me. The main plan I'm seeking guidance with is as follows; I join the Marine Corp reserves (6 + 2) as an MP, or COMMS (2 things we have in Ohio besides Infantry). I would love to do Infantry but I feel like training once a month to be an Infantryman isn't sufficient. My friend who is an Army Infantry veteran has advised me to stay away from Infantry as a reservist, because your training will be lacking to stay sharp if you get deployed. Once I finish BMT, and MOS training I will immediately apply to the Patrol to begin the process again. This time my fitness should be at a peak, and I now have additional desired training's. I will also be able to pay off my student loan debt with the money I accrue during training, or nearly. Which would be a huge weight lifted from my shoulders to move on with life.

In closing I'm just seeking advice from other Marines on whether it's really worth it to augment my life. I want to open some new doors for myself. Some of you may be thinking I'm trying to use being a Marine as a stepping block for civilian opportunities, and that isn't completely untrue. But, don't forget I very much wanted to serve at 18 and have been bitter / unfulfilled ever since. Of course it was Army then, and a Marine now. I want that challenge, and I want that intangible title. I would carry myself as a Marine first and foremost. I realize life may have to go on hold for a deployment of some kind. I just want to make it very clear before any judgement is passed, that I know what serving means. I'm not asking questions like "how can I join, and not go to combat", and "how can I get benefits while sitting at a desk". I just want some wisdom. Thank you for your time if you read this wall of text, and thank you in advance for any replies.

[Rocky C]

The only wisdom I can give you is follow your heart.
If you want to become a Marine which is what I read then enlist.

None here are going to persuade you. It is your decision.
It already seems you have made up your mind.

6 years went by already and you said you are still tormented.

Go for it. Earn the Title of a " United States Marine "
You'll be glad you did.

Good luck in your decision...

[Kazru]

The only wisdom I can give you is follow your heart.
If you want to become a Marine which is what I read then enlist.

None here are going to persuade you. It is your decision.
It already seems you have made up your mind.

6 years went by already and you said you are still tormented.

Go for it. Earn the Title of a " United States Marine "
You'll be glad you did.

Good luck in your decision...

Thank you. Sometimes words of encouragement are best. Even my buddy of 18 years (the Army Infantry vet) doesn't exactly support it. He asked me "Why the Marine Corp? You trying to be some kind of hard ass?". Why be a Marine? It's just one of those questions...some people don't get it. Some do.

[m14ed]

Why be a Marine?

It's just one of those questions... ,
some people don't get it. ,
Some do.

We Got it

[MOS4429]

I read your entire post. There is a common thread that stands out from your words, and the message communicated by your own words is: You do not have what it takes to be a Marine.

When at the cross-roads of your life six years ago, you apparently knew what you wanted, but you lacked the ability to make the decision. There are hundreds of Marines on this site who can tell you they were in the same situation, family against them, Jodi saying don’t do it, and they made a man decision and enlisted and followed through.

You enlisted but did not follow through. You say, “Nobody in my family supported this decision even though…” and “My girlfriend also said she would leave me if I left, and that was the nail in the coffin.” There comes a time a man has to make the decision himself and not allow others to control him. A Marine quickly considers his options, makes a decision, and follows through. If a girlfriend really cares about you, she will be there through thick and thin and she will not manipulate your life and give you an ultimatum. That is not love, young man.

And after you made the decision to quit, you make excuses. You say, “…even though you took an oath at MEPS it literally means nothing in terms of binding you to go.” When a Marine takes an oath, he is true to his word and it means everything. Integrity prevails over the knowledge that “There is literally nothing they can do if you decide not to go, except belittle you.”

And then you became bitter over letting others control your life, and I ask why? Why be bitter? You allowed it to happen. You went on to college and in your own words, “didn't even get a degree because I lacked the discipline to do my work properly.” Marines need men who have the discipline to complete what they start.

You continue with bitterness. You say, “I got a job as an "auxiliary officer" in a 1 horse town in Ohio.” That, my friend, is called getting your foot in the door. But from the tone of your post, it sounds like you pooh-pooh this “auxiliary officer” opportunity. Do you think that attitude might show to others? One thing Marines cannot stand is kids who have degrees and enlist in the Marine Corps, and act like they are above the work they are assigned to do within their MOS. They usually fail in the Marine Corps.

It is interesting that you say, “essentially ‘experience’ is your payment, but you “never work there because it’s volunteer work.” How do you think you gain experience? The Chief holds your commission and do you think maybe he is giving you the opportunity to pay your dues, gain experience, but you have developed this pattern in your life of starting something and not completing it. I was hired once at a job, and the boss told me I would work all day without pay. I worked hard, he came in later, told me to come back the next day and work all day without pay. I never worked there against because it was volunteer work. Nope, not at all! Came back, worked for free again, and he told me to come back again. Did so, was hired, and paid for the previous days.

Now you have a job you say you scored. Jobs are hard to come by. You say it is a dead end job, though. You also applied for the state trooper job but failed to lose weight. Again, you are given a plan, a goal, and to achieve it, you need to complete it. But you didn’t. I just can’t see somebody with this pattern in their lives joining the Marine Corps. How about you?

Oh, but at the security job, rumor is the chief thinks he’s got you “locked down.” Hmmm, you ever wonder why he might think that? Wonder why he might think you aren’t going anywhere? Does he see something that you do not, such as I got this guy, he’s a bit overweight to be a real cop, starts things but doesn’t complete them, is a bit complacent…yeah, I’ll just set the hook now.

You say, “I'm not seeking any consolation because the choices were mine.” Whatever made you think we would offer any consolation?

Now you want to join the Marine Corp Reserves, need to lose 10 pounds, have lost 7, and if the pattern holds true…you won’t lose the remaining three pounds.

You are attempting to make a man decision in your life, son, and you say, “My girlfriend whom I now live together with has reluctantly agreed to let me pursue the reserves…” Are you kidding me? You are now 24, and the same girl who said I’ll dump your butt if you go in the Army is “reluctantly” agreeing to LET you pursue the reserves? Once again, sounds to me like manipulation, but hey, it’s your life, right?

What to do, what to do? To this point, you have not demonstrated what it takes to be a Marine. But if you really want to be one, it is time you take life by the horns and YOU make decisions for YOUR future. Forget the reserves. Step out and do it right. If she gives you the ultimatum, so be it. No person who loves another will use manipulation to control their life.

You want to be a Marine? Prove it.

[Subsum44]

To be honest Karzu, I was in your position in Oct. 2010. Looking at the rest of my fourth year of college, needing a 5th and couldn't afford it. Decided to look into other options and the Corps was my first choice. Something I had thought about in high school, but had a scholarship to a good college and so decided to use that opportunity. When I signed up I was 21 years old, 30 some odd lbs over and could barely do a pullup, crunches or run to get the PT scores to DEP in during Nov. Luckily I was afforded the opportunity to push my ship date back to Oct instead of my original in May so I could finish a 27 credit semester to get a degree in something else from somewhere else before I left. When I left in Oct I had earned my degree, lost the 30 lbs I needed to, gained 7 pullups, 50 crunches and dropped 3 minutes off my run time and couldn't be happier with where my life was heading.

I'm telling you this to prove it is possible if you put your mind to it and commit to it. Not just as a career choice, but as a way of life and a mentality. You have to get it in your head that this is who and what I am and I will do anything to achieve it. I could have stayed where I was and done well, but I felt like this is what I was meant to do and so I worked to get there. If this is what you want, you will NEED to really work to prove it.

However, MOS4429 has a lot of very good points (I read both of your posts). Take a look at our leadership traits at some point. You'll see a lot of them that you appear to be lacking. Mainly:

Dependability
Initiative
Decisiveness
Integrity
Unselfishness
Courage
Loyalty
Endurance



If you still feel like this is what you are meant to do, then very well and best of luck. However, if you are just using the Corps as a stepping stone to move further up in your career you are joining for the wrong reasons. If you want to become a full time police officer step up and do it yourself. You will always need to make sacrifices to succeed in anything. Just make sure that you are willing to make those sacrifices for life, not just for a four year, or six year reserve contract. Once a Marine, always a Marine.

I'm glad that you are taking this decision seriously. However, maybe you should take the rest of your life seriously before you commit to this yet. Work on your weaknesses, improve and continue improving. In 6 months, if you are still same moto to do it, for yourself not just to get a better job back home, then follow through.

[Kazru]

I appreciate the varying levels of advice here. Whether they be cold, hard, warm, or caring. @ MMOS4429 You certainly didn't sugar coat what you thought about me. I would digress on a few of your statements, but I will humbly and respectfully accept what you said. Thank you. @ Subsum44 Thank you for your perspective as well, I appreciate the time you guys took to reply. I'm going to continue to lose weight (already lost more), and move forward.

[Rooger]

Kazru, I totally agree with what MMOS4429 Said, You'll find that "We" Marines Will not sugar coat anything when It come to "Our Corps".

You want to be "1 of us" for all the wrong reasons, as SubSum has pointed out.

I can't add anything to what my brother Marines have said so,

A little Info about how I Joined the Corps,

After H.S. I would have had to wait 3 yrs to go to college because Mom and Dad had 2 Kids in college, a Mortgage, 2 car payments etc. etc.

After pumping gas for more money in "79" ($4 an hour when minimum wage was a buck 60) than I'd ever seen, I decided I want to see what I was made of. The Iran Hostage crisis was going on and It looked like we were going to be involved, as the takeover of the embassy was an act of war.

I went to all the recruiters and asked what they could do for me, Having a H.S. diploma helped a real lot, because in those days you didn't need 1 in order to join any service.(with a few exceptions)

All the recruiters save 1 told me they could do this or that, The last 1 the Marine recruiter an old Gunnery Sgt. said to me, when I asked what the Marines could do for me, "Not a freaking thing, What can you do for the Marine Corps?" He made me show up every saturday morning and run with him until I could keep up with him for 3 miles then he would let me Join as he said "His Corps". and by the way I was 40 lbs underweight, which they put on me in boot.

Thats when I knew, I KNEW in my gut what I wanted. And I did find out What I was made of.

If it's In YOUR GUT then Do it, Family be dammed, You have to live YOUR Life, Not Mom and Dad nor your Girl Friend.

Your decision, Pay attention to the Leadership traits Subsum mentioned, without those? you will Never get anywhere, even in the civilian world.


Good Luck, Make the decision or not, sometime you can way over think things, I went with my GUT and it was the right thing to do, even if my Navy Vet Father thought I was nuts! But he eventually came around after he saw the Man I came to be.