The growing problem of Americans not understanding

[Caesar Augustus]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...030106938.html

[LoveOfCountry]

Wow. Great article.

[Caesar Augustus]

I remember hearing that statistic when I first got back from Iraq but didn't realize just how true it was. Its bad when I live in the state with the second highest enlistment rate and amount of service members killed and less than 30 minutes from a joint reserve base and since 2007 I can think of maybe 5 people I've run into that are combat vets and only a few more that are military.

[FistFu68]

For those Who Fight for it Life has a certain Flavor The Protected will NEVER KNOW!!! S/F

[boomer56328]

Wow. Excellent article. I know what you mean. I know very few combat vets and it's refreshing to meet them. I like talking to people who understand what I went through and know where I'm coming from. So few people I talk to really get it. It can be extremely frustrating. I try explaining the hardships, but there is something lost in the translation. Most people are kind enough and try to show empathy, but you can tell they really have no grasp.

[Caesar Augustus]

Wow. Excellent article. I know what you mean. I know very few combat vets and it's refreshing to meet them. I like talking to people who understand what I went through and know where I'm coming from. So few people I talk to really get it. It can be extremely frustrating. I try explaining the hardships, but there is something lost in the translation. Most people are kind enough and try to show empathy, but you can tell they really have no grasp.

Yep. It took me just till recently to figure out that as much as I tried to be around people who aren't combat vets especially family all it did was keep me from being able to move on and stop seeing myself as someone who was messed up and in general evil for not feeling emotion like others, doing things while deployed and back stateside that are rather inexcusable and lastly just understanding that sometimes the very people who should be there for you and understand and empathize the most don't and end up being your own worst enemy because its far harder to write off the opinion of those closest to you compared to a stranger.

I've had my ex girlfriend call me every name in the book, make fun of me for times I'd wake up from nightmares, flashbacks or even for the death of four Marines that in many way I blame myself for, other assorted people make comments that are ignorant etc but nothing is worse than your own family basically writing you off as a lost cause, abandoning you or making those same comments all because you trusted them.

Now I only associate with combat veterans. I know that no matter what they'll always get it, even if they are in no position to help outside of letting you vent and say stuff that would cause most people to look at you as if you were crazy and dangerous; they get that sometimes saying things that on the surface seem completely immoral, morbid and disgusting is at least for me a way to in ways grieve but also just to feel normal. If anger is the only thing I can easily feel its better than nothing if you can do it around someone you can trust and understands.

I'll say that I am so glad I joined the Corps and not another branch because throughout 2010 there were many times that Marines from previous generations went out of their way to help me out, at one time paying my rent, and another finding me a house to stay in until the new semester started and I had my financial aid in. No one else has that type of bond, where a Marine in their 50, 20s, 70 or whatever age will help you to the best of their ability simply because we both a Marines.

[boomer56328]

Yep. It took me just till recently to figure out that as much as I tried to be around people who aren't combat vets especially family all it did was keep me from being able to move on and stop seeing myself as someone who was messed up and in general evil for not feeling emotion like others, doing things while deployed and back stateside that are rather inexcusable and lastly just understanding that sometimes the very people who should be there for you and understand and empathize the most don't and end up being your own worst enemy because its far harder to write off the opinion of those closest to you compared to a stranger.

I've had my ex girlfriend call me every name in the book, make fun of me for times I'd wake up from nightmares, flashbacks or even for the death of four Marines that in many way I blame myself for, other assorted people make comments that are ignorant etc but nothing is worse than your own family basically writing you off as a lost cause, abandoning you or making those same comments all because you trusted them.

Now I only associate with combat veterans. I know that no matter what they'll always get it, even if they are in no position to help outside of letting you vent and say stuff that would cause most people to look at you as if you were crazy and dangerous; they get that sometimes saying things that on the surface seem completely immoral, morbid and disgusting is at least for me a way to in ways grieve but also just to feel normal. If anger is the only thing I can easily feel its better than nothing if you can do it around someone you can trust and understands.

I'll say that I am so glad I joined the Corps and not another branch because throughout 2010 there were many times that Marines from previous generations went out of their way to help me out, at one time paying my rent, and another finding me a house to stay in until the new semester started and I had my financial aid in. No one else has that type of bond, where a Marine in their 50, 20s, 70 or whatever age will help you to the best of their ability simply because we both a Marines.

I'm very sorry to hear that you were treated this way by people who are supposed to love and support you. While I feel like my family doesn't understand, they have always been extrememly supportive and my wife has been very patient and has tried to be helpful. I don't like talking with her about my combat experience, but she has always been willing to listen and try to help in any way she can. I too have awoke with nightmares and I can't imagine having a signicant other who mocked those emotions. You are way better off without her. Neither her or my family and friends have ever made me feel bad for what I was going through. I hope you find someone who is at least willing to try to help you thru your issues, even if they aren't able.

[radio relay]

It's something that bugs me to no end, too. I see these effete fools enjoying their lives in a country that would not be here, if not for the few who are on the front lines. What I see are people who not only have no clue, but do not actually want to know about, nor care about what military personnel (from all branches) are going through to keep them safe. Particularly those who have been in actual combat.

My Father was a career military man. He was a combat Veteran of three shooting wars, wounded in two, and was away from home for months on end patrolling the boarders between eastern and western Europe during the worst of the Cold War. Like the sons of the General's family, what else was for me but to go into the military and on to Vietnam, too. My brother-in-law did three tours in Vietnam, also. My family understands. I'm fortunate in that regard.

However, as I've lived, I've always been alone. Virtually nobody I'm around on a daily basis has a similar set of life experiences. So, I've just learned to accept that no one else understands. I've finished grieving for the dead, although I'll never forget. I will take my memories to my grave. I've ceased to expect anything more.

I don't know what to say to those coming back to an uncaring nation. There are those of us here and there that know and care, but we are few.

[Caesar Augustus]

It's something that bugs me to no end, too. I see these effete fools enjoying their lives in a country that would not be here, if not for the few who are on the front lines. What I see are people who not only have no clue, but do not actually want to know about, nor care about what military personnel (from all branches) are going through to keep them safe. Particularly those who have been in actual combat.

My Father was a career military man. He was a combat Veteran of three shooting wars, wounded in two, and was away from home for months on end patrolling the boarders between eastern and western Europe during the worst of the Cold War. Like the sons of the General's family, what else was for me but to go into the military and on to Vietnam, too. My brother-in-law did three tours in Vietnam, also. My family understands. I'm fortunate in that regard.

However, as I've lived, I've always been alone. Virtually nobody I'm around on a daily basis has a similar set of life experiences. So, I've just learned to accept that no one else understands. I've finished grieving for the dead, although I'll never forget. I will take my memories to my grave. I've ceased to expect anything more.

I don't know what to say to those coming back to an uncaring nation. There are those of us here and there that know and care, but we are few.

My father is as well career military(AF) and should actually be reaching 20yrs in the next year or two and he of all people was the least understanding of anyone I've met. It was almost as if he hated the fact I had seen combat and done something he'd never gotten to do. He missed out on Desert Storm because his unit in AK was tasked to North Korea and then when he went back in when I enlisted he ended up on recruiting duty or with units not deploying. I think even now within our own ranks there seems to be an Us and them mentality. I've yet to meet a combat veteran who writes off someone who doesn't have combat experience just for that fact, but I've seen jealousy from those who either didn't deploy or didn't see combat, as if they feel we're judging them as less so they quickly decide its easier to distance themselves from us.

I have found that its the oddest places where I feel people will actually give a ****. One girl I know is literally a self proclaimed liberal hippy(no shaving, showering, likes to live in the woods for weeks at a time with total strangers etc) but thats never stopped her from understanding the sacrifices all of us make. It wouldn't surprise me if most of Americas outcast or the kids who were always considered weird don't end up being some of the most understanding people especially with regards to why sometimes all we'd like to hear is nothing, just treat us like we're another random person and not a combat vet.

I remember hearing some Vietnam veterans talking about how bad the treatment was when they came home but the one solace they had was they had numbers. They might be homeless, miserable, and mistreated but they still had a semblance of unity because there were so many. I personally would not want to trade post combat experiences with anyone from Vietnam but I sort of understand where they were coming from.

Its why I know so many of us would in a heartbeat just take up permanent residence in a combat zone because its far far simpler to be at war than to live at home.

[Caesar Augustus]

I'm very sorry to hear that you were treated this way by people who are supposed to love and support you. While I feel like my family doesn't understand, they have always been extrememly supportive and my wife has been very patient and has tried to be helpful. I don't like talking with her about my combat experience, but she has always been willing to listen and try to help in any way she can. I too have awoke with nightmares and I can't imagine having a signicant other who mocked those emotions. You are way better off without her. Neither her or my family and friends have ever made me feel bad for what I was going through. I hope you find someone who is at least willing to try to help you thru your issues, even if they aren't able.

I guess the fact that outside of my dad who has been non-supportive, I really don't even dislike any of them. I rather expected it even though I didn't want to just resign myself to that idea. In a way I laugh at the fact my family or ex will on one hand tell me I'm an angry evil person and then when I no longer give them a reaction and simply blow off anything they say, do/don't do and move on as if they hadn't slighted me then I'm uncaring and cold. Damned if I do damned if I don't

I guess in the end I say its a combination of ignorance on the families part, our own ability to hide and control problems and never ask for help or look like we need it till things are absolutely horrible and then the family or friends are not only caught unawares that you of all people are having any problems and need help, they seem to freeze and try to push you away because its easier for them to deal with the fear you might be another "casualty" from afar than to risk being right there with you and having to deal with stateside survivors guilt.

That or maybe my family just sucked. Least we all know when blood fails you the blood thats been spilled and is part of who we are will never let anything come between us.

[radio relay]

Hopefully, you will find the understanding you seek, and yeah it will probably come from a direction that you would least expect. It might not be a bad idea to see if there are groups through the VA for recent combat Vets.

[Caesar Augustus]

Hopefully, you will find the understanding you seek, and yeah it will probably come from a direction that you would least expect. It might not be a bad idea to see if there are groups through the VA for recent combat Vets.

I almost went to one when I ran into a buddy of mine who got wounded early during our deployment but with work it never happened.

If I didn't used to drink like a fish for the past few years I might frequent the local VFW

[Rooger]

I don't know what to say to those coming back to an uncaring nation. There are those of us here and there that know and care, but we are few

Brother I feel ya, Having said that, I work with a bunch of Vets, from Vietnam to Afghanistan.

Let me tell ya, among the Professionals I work with, To a man and a lady the are ALL appreciative for what WE have done, past and present. Maybe its an aberration among corporations, but I saw the Uncaring, from 79 to 89 when i was active....... soldiers and Dogs keep of the grass so to speak.

Having said that, I do see what you mean, among the very young.......but NEVER the Seasoned Human beings (American type...1 each) WHO KNOW what we the few, who have served in any capacity,have sacrificed so those Americans can Live in freedom and security...such as it is.

[Caesar Augustus]

Brother I feel ya, Having said that, I work with a bunch of Vets, from Vietnam to Afghanistan.

Let me tell ya, among the Professionals I work with, To a man and a lady the are ALL appreciative for what WE have done, past and present. Maybe its an aberration among corporations, but I saw the Uncaring, from 79 to 89 when i was active....... soldiers and Dogs keep of the grass so to speak.

Having said that, I do see what you mean, among the very young.......but NEVER the Seasoned Human beings (American type...1 each) WHO KNOW what we the few, who have served in any capacity,have sacrificed so those Americans can Live in freedom and security...such as it is.

I think that among those who know what its like to work a hard job for a living, those who were not privileged or those who were and realize just how blessed they are, those are the ones regardless of age, demographic etc that will always care genuinely.

The biggest issue is that its not an issue whatsoever now. You never hear about returning vets unless we kill people or end up assaulting people and then its just as quickly gone so many people are so distant from the war because in this day and age its not their wars and they most likely don't know anyone who has been deployed that its part willing ignorance and the nature of this day and age.

[Rooger]

I think, personally, that you miss the point.

The biggest issue is that its not an issue whatsoever now. You never hear about returning vets unless we kill people or end up assaulting people and then its just as quickly gone so many people are so distant from the war because in this day and age its not their wars and they most likely don't know anyone who has been deployed that its part willing ignorance and the nature of this day and age.

It is an Issue! And I have to disagree with the negativity that you espouse, I've seen the "elephant" as have many others here on Leatherneck and let me tell you brother, a whole crapload of us have gone though it and come out the other side.

I for 1 WILLINGLY said I will "Support and Defend the Constitution Of the United States of America.....Against ALL Enemies, Foreign and Domestic, NOBODY forced you to take that oath! or didn't you know what you were gettting into? Yes there is a Heavy price WE who take that oath pay......... I payed and I pay to this day........do I have regrets for taking that oath? NEVER,! do I have regrets about what that cost me and my family? You bet......but I, and my family (and I include EVERY Marine who ever was, IS my Family) know the cost and pay it WILLINGLY............ You want recognition? thats what your whining about........



I never wanted recognition......I never needed it.......Knowing what I did and still do...the Ideals that the Corps Instilled in me is enough..


Semper FI Brother