Poolee getting married...need advice

[jclarke]

Well, if he ends up going, and she with him? I wonder how much damage she incur on him there as compared to here in the U.S.?

[Ebecker]

Try to get him to wait until boot camp is over. At boot camp you get briefs pretty much every week about why you shouldn't get married. The statistics are stupidly high for divorce rates, like 50% or something for non-nco marriages. The best thing to do is wait till you go through your first deployment so both sides know what to expect.

If he does go through with it, make sure he gets a prenup. There are a ton of horror stories of a marine deploying and his/her spouse spending all their money and then divorcing and/or cheating on them because they are lonely.

[jclarke]

A pinhole can be put through the condom while it's still in the package, and not be detected short of close inspection. And all it takes is one little guy to get through....

Nothing wrong with a woman/slash girl having thier own condoms, or in hand as you say.. Just make sure it is not out of the original packing, and it is opend up on front of them.

[jclarke]

The "edit" button doesn't work too well, so I'm adding to my post above.

The condom itself would have to be removed from the package, then the "reservoir" stretched to check for any perforation's. It ain't exactly "intimate" or "arousing" but it's way better than the alternative.

[Lisa 23]

Try to get him to wait until boot camp is over. At boot camp you get briefs pretty much every week about why you shouldn't get married. The statistics are stupidly high for divorce rates, like 50% or something for non-nco marriages. The best thing to do is wait till you go through your first deployment so both sides know what to expect.

If he does go through with it, make sure he gets a prenup. There are a ton of horror stories of a marine deploying and his/her spouse spending all their money and then divorcing and/or cheating on them because they are lonely.

If you're referring to Marinestepmom's stepson Nick, he got married before he went to boot camp. He's currently at his MOS school at Camp Johnson.

[Marinestepmom]

Is there a chance that he could be sent to Japan on an unaccompanied assignment? And if so, would they have to pay a housing allowance for her expenses here? I don't know how many others in his group are training for the same position as Nick...

[Zulu 36]

Is there a chance that he could be sent to Japan on an unaccompanied assignment? And if so, would they have to pay a housing allowance for her expenses here? I don't know how many others in his group are training for the same position as Nick...

Yes, there is a very good chance he could go to Japan unaccompanied. She would receive the BAH payment and whatever else Nick allotted to her.

[Marinestepmom]

I can't approach my husband about having a talk with Nick as nobody in the family knows that I post to this forum, so he would wonder where I'm getting the information from about bride's behavior jeopardizing Nick's future as a Marine. I admit I have said some things that are not very nice about bride and her family, and I would rather not open up that Pandora's box to anyone.

I am guessing that at some point Nick and his fellow Marines have been warned about keeping their behavior (and the behavior of those attached to them) under control. I understand that it is up to the individual to decide whether he/she wants to heed that warning or not. I don't know if Nick has talked to his wife about her shenanigans or not, but that also is his choice. I do know that Nick has very little posted on his FB page, and the last time I looked, there were no incriminating photos. All of the 'bad stuff' is on her page.

My 'gut feeling' (feminine intuition?) tells me exactly where all of this is going, but I don't see Nick getting an adsep. I do see them splitting up in the not-too-distant future--especially if he is sent on an unaccompanied assignment. This will be a very painful but necessary lesson for him.

When we were at Parris Island for Nick's boot-camp graduation this past November, we were in the PX looking at t-shirts. There were some that said 'My son graduated from the USMC 1st Battalion' or 'My daughter graduated...etc.' Bride wanted to know why there weren't any that said 'My husband graduated'. I wanted to say it was because recruits weren't meant to be married, but I didn't feel like starting an argument.

Nick and his bride are both very stubborn and I am not close enough to her to suggest that she clean up her act. (She wouldn't listen to me anyway.) This is Nick's battle to fight.

I will keep you posted.

[Marinestepmom]

Bride was down in NC this weekend visiting my stepson. They went looking at houses to rent and I guess they found one they liked. All I know is that it's two stories and has no basement (which would drive me crazy as most of the houses up here have basements). I have no idea what the rent is or whether they will be permitted to have their Husky/Border Collie puppy with them. She is almost eight months old, and aside from being basically housebroken, she is totally wild and does not listen. I suggested obedience school when bride bought the dog for my stepson for his birthday last August, which was less than a week before he left for boot camp. Bride said it was too expensive even though I offered to help pay for it. Apparently going out partying with her friends was more important than the puppy's well-being, since I'm sure she has spent way more than what training would have cost. The last I heard, puppy doesn't get along with her family's elderly cat, so she is either confined to a crate or blockaded in the kitchen. She chewed a hole in the wall...I don't think most landlords would be too pleased about such an incident. (Sorry to be venting like this, but I'm a 'dog person' and am very concerned about the puppy's care--or lack of it.)

The situation changes if Nick is sent to Japan. He is supposed to find out this week.

[Marinestepmom]

Nick called tonight. He began the current phase of his training yesterday. 15 days to go...He will find out next Tuesday where he will be assigned.

I have a non-military question: Is there a way to delete old posts on a thread?

[Lisa 23]

I have a non-military question: Is there a way to delete old posts on a thread?

One of us mods can delete it for you. What one do you want deleted?

[Marinemom32]

[quote=Marinestepmom;839389]Bride was down in NC this weekend visiting my stepson. They went looking at houses to rent and I guess they found one they liked. All I know is that it's two stories and has no basement (which would drive me crazy as most of the houses up here have basements). I have no idea what the rent is or whether they will be permitted to have their Husky/Border Collie puppy with them. She is almost eight months old, and aside from being basically housebroken, she is totally wild and does not listen. I suggested obedience school when bride bought the dog for my stepson for his birthday last August, which was less than a week before he left for boot camp. Bride said it was too expensive even though I offered to help pay for it. Apparently going out partying with her friends was more important than the puppy's well-being, since I'm sure she has spent way more than what training would have cost. The last I heard, puppy doesn't get along with her family's elderly cat, so she is either confined to a crate or blockaded in the kitchen. She chewed a hole in the wall...I don't think most landlords would be too pleased about such an incident. (Sorry to be venting like this, but I'm a 'dog person' and am very concerned about the puppy's care--or lack of it.)

The situation changes if Nick is sent to Japan. He is supposed to find out this week.[/quote

That is so sad...I am most defnitely a dog person too..I have three..well one is my sons, that I begged him to to bring home...but he did anyway. My German Shephard and my little mixed sunny of I am not sure what. That poor puppy needs his exercise, and should not be in a crate all day. And if she would just work with him on her own, he ie probably very smart, and will leanrn with her, but she has to work with him, which I am guessing she won't...border collies are very high energy, and need a job to do. or they get bored and destroy things. I fell bad the the dog, and you, because you have to watch it happen

[Marinestepmom]

SoftballCatch23--I'll have to read back through all the posts to choose which ones to delete, but probably most of the ones from before Nick went to boot camp will be among those I choose. I will let you know for sure. I appreciate the help.

Marinemom32--it IS very frustrating to know that this puppy is not getting the attention she needs. While she does not appear abused in any way, she is definitely a victim of 'benign neglect', and I can't do anything about it. We have a 6-year-old male Golden Retriever who is VERY spoiled--semi-homemade raw organic diet, brushed every 2 days (including teeth!), walked at least once a day, attends doggie daycare...you get the picture. I wouldn't dream of confining him to a crate all day. Cosmo is my baby. Our vet says that when he dies, he wants to come back as a dog--but only if he can be MY dog. Probably the best thing for the puppy would be for her to come live with us, but my husband and I both work full time, so I'm not sure that's an option. Hopefully there will be a happy conclusion to this dilemma.

[Lisa 23]

SoftballCatch23--I'll have to read back through all the posts to choose which ones to delete, but probably most of the ones from before Nick went to boot camp will be among those I choose. I will let you know for sure. I appreciate the help.

Just let me know the number of each post, the # that's to the right of each posted post, that you want deleted and I'll do that for you.

[Marinestepmom]

Nick called my husband this afternoon and said he'll be assigned to MCAS Cherry Point and will be attached to an air wing. Does anyone have any experience with this base?

This will sound bad, but I almost wish he was going to Japan on an unaccompanied assignment. He seems like he regresses when he's around bride (acting more immaturely)--but then again, they haven't lived together on their own at all, certainly not with him on active duty every day. I know he will have to act like a Marine...I don't know how she'll handle it without her 'party friends' around.

This may be where Fantasy Island disappears and reality sets in...could be a rude awakening.