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Thread: Anyone have children?
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05-17-11, 11:14 AM #1
Anyone have children?
So my fiance' (wedding date 20110812 ) is at Parris Island for bootcamp and he was worried and has been worried that our son will forget him. He is 3 months old. I know he may be standoff-ish at first but I don't think he will FORGET him. Basically do any of you have children?? And if so what are your experiences so far being in the military?
Ps- sorry, I'm pretty new to this forum so if I am not following rules or doing something right then just tell me!! Thanks seriously for your time!!
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05-17-11, 11:48 AM #2
he's not going to forget him. infants at that age don't remember much to begin with, the majority of his bonding focus is with his mother and would still be even if he was there all the time. it'll be harder on your fiance than on your son but he will have the next few years to form a proper relationship with him.
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05-17-11, 11:52 AM #3
Thanks I kind of figured that on graduation he will be pretty bummed that Lawson won't be very ecstatic about seeing him, but he's a baby so he will not start the whole father son "bonding" until hes a bitttt older!
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05-17-11, 11:58 AM #4
Indeed. Let him know that the lack of time spent together could result in your son not reacting as he would expect but that will in no way prevent him from forming a strong relationship in the future. When he's old enough to understand it I'm sure he'll be very proud.
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05-17-11, 11:59 AM #5
Agreed! A 3 month old isn't capable of forming any type of bond. It isn't until 8-10 months when an infant can say a few words such as mama and dada and say it to the correct parent.
Some babies adopt these skills sooner than others, some develop later.
You're fiance has nothing to worry about except being a parent till the day he dies. It's the toughest job in the world
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05-17-11, 12:07 PM #6
Got children? Sure, got three of them, but only the 13-year old boy is for sale. I think my ex will let him go cheap, but his dog, bird, and all his skateboard stuff has to go with him. Fair warning - he thinks he's a lawyer and can argue the bark off a tree.
Seriously, no, the baby won't "forget" him. Babies respond to love and gentleness. They'll be on best of terms in no time when he gets home - like there was never an absence.
When I was in the Corps, my two overseas tours were just plain adventures. Of course I was single and often forgot I had any form of a family back home.
For Desert Storm, I had a five-year old daughter and a wife. I missed them both terribly and I know my daughter missed me a lot (I think my wife did too, although she denies it now). When I got home, my daughter hung on me for days like glue, but she seemed to understand the reason for my absence.
Last year it was my turn to worry myself sick while the same now not-so-little girl was in a combat zone herself. Personally, I think she plotted the whole thing as payback since she was six. She denies the plot, but she is her mother's daughter.
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05-17-11, 12:52 PM #7
My son was seven when I went to Iraq. He didn't know I was going to Iraq, but he knew I was going to be away for a while. He was always trying to come up with schemes to help me get home. When I came home on leave, I spent almost every minute with him. He was in a week-long basketball camp, too, and wanted me to be there every minute, so I was.
His mom and I are divorced, but she was surprisingly good while I was gone. She's a teacher and she even got her students to send me letters, which was even more surprising.
It's hard on kids. I think they all deal with it in their own way. One of the things my son did was box up the toys I'd given him and he wouldn't let anyone touch them or play with them until I got back, and he's not a selfish kid. He never admitted to doing that, either.
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05-17-11, 01:40 PM #8
Yes I have children. My advice to you is stay faithful and speak of your son's father often with high regard. The times they get to spend together will be precious and forever remembered by both, He is a lucky man.
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05-17-11, 02:58 PM #9
It's much more difficult when the child has established memories of a father who is off making a living. He's been away too long and you and everybody knows it. Anything beyond a few days is an eternity for the child; the child adjusts, but it remains a constant burden on a mans mind
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05-17-11, 03:33 PM #10
Since your fiance is in bootcamp the best thing you can do is write lot's of letters and keep him informed of baby's progress, Daddy requires much attention during this time. Baby boy won't remember any of this but daddy will remember all of it. Your role besides being a great mother is also being the most supportive person in Daddy's life, remind him often that you and baby are behind his efforts 100%.
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05-17-11, 05:49 PM #11
The only reason I Walk The Line now is My Kid's,My Wife,and the Fear of God if I don't take care of them which comes very easy...Ain't nothing more special than hearing a Child say I Love You Daddy...
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05-17-11, 05:57 PM #12
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05-17-11, 06:00 PM #13
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05-17-11, 06:05 PM #14
LOL...Heard that,but always did like being reffered too as SUGAR DADDY S/F
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05-17-11, 06:16 PM #15
As long as you reenforce the fact that he's Daddy and show him a picture that will help him hold on, and believe me kids don't forget there dads or moms as long as you show him a picture of him and say daddy sure misses his little man or Princess and vise verse-a and if he carries a picture of him and has it were he can look at him and say to himself I'm doing this for you and momma so it will help him make it through the lows and keep him on the high side of his stay there.
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