Family Dilemma

[MarksMom]

Hello, everyone. I apologize in advance for my long post.

I am new here as my son enlisted in the Marines (air winger - NDI, hope I wrote that correctly) less than 2 weeks ago. He is scheduled to leave for South Carolina March 7, 2011. The entire family supports his decision & will stand by him 100%.

However, we have a major problem. My daughter, his sister, is getting married April 29, 2011 in NJ. His attending her wedding is incredibly important aside from the obvious reasons,. They lost their father at a young age and those two have been inseparable their whole lives; my son is to walk her down the aisle. My daughter has overcome severe medical issues & quite frankly, we never thought she'd live to enjoy what is supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

She has not stopped crying since she learned of his enlisting, isn't eating or getting any sleep. They were to go for his tux fitting today. This girl has never displayed any "bridezilla" behavior & isn't a selfish, spoiled brat by any means. Having her brother attend her wedding is the only thing that matters - she couldn't care if any other guests attend.

My son spoke w his RO right away; even brought him one of the save-the-dates that had just gone out and explained everything. The RO said nothing can be done; he signed a contract (of which he refuses to provide my son a copy of claiming it is property of the US Govt) & that's that. That if my son pushes any more, he may grant him the extension but will not sign him up for the job he enlisted for. He said that the program he will attend starts only once a year & my son won't be able to attend in 2011.

I spoke w a retired Corporal in the US Air Force (not the same, I know, but we met my chance) & he said this is completely untrue; that the RO is just using scare tactics for fear my son is having second thoughts about enlisting. He said that since my son's enlisting was so recent, a delay could be made. Worst case scenario, he could go to BC w a pre-approved weekend or 2 day leave to allow him to attend the wedding.

I don't know what to believe. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to go about this. I am also aware time is of the essence.

I would deeply appreciate any help, guidance &/or information anyone could provide me with.

Thank you in advance.

[JCampbell]

To start, his recruiter is feeding him a load of crap about the contract. As long as he ships within a year of entering the delayed entry program, he can refuse dates if he pleases. Now if he does so, he will likely lose the job choice he has. Most of the jobs for the new year have already been taken, so he may not be able to get the same contract he has now.

Keep in mind also that the Marine Corps is not having issues meeting its quotas for recruiting. When I was recently at my old recruiting station on PTAD, they were at the position where they could pick and choose which of the fully qualified applicants they took. My recruiters wouldn't drop someone from the program for wanting to ship at a different date, but every station has its own situation of how many recruits that can go at each ship date.

As far as leaving with a pre-approved day or weekend of leave, I've never heard of anything in place for this. Emergency leave was pretty rare when I went through boot camp, and it had to be a close family member dying for anything to happen.

As I see it your son has two options. He can change his ship date later to be at the wedding (if his recruiter won't work with him, he should speak with the SNCO that runs the office), or his sister can change the date to be at a time when he is home (either before he leaves or on his boot leave).

[GySgtRet]

Not having more details it isn't possible to advise anything here. I have never heard of a school house meetiing once a year but then again I have been retired since 1993. Anything is possible in The Marine Corps.
Need to know iformation:
Is your son a waiver of any kind?
By this I mean and medical or moral problems that had to be waived?
In my experience in the Corps for 20 years if an individual has been signed and from what I see it hasn't been very long, just a guess he can extend if he hasn't been dep'd for more than 270 days. Also, what part of the country makes a a hole lot of difference on shipping and contract quotas. Scholl house quotas can be traded some would disagree with what I am telling you unless somehow the Marine Corps recruiting mission has been changed and I don't know aout it.
I would think under the circumstances that this shipdate of your son's coul be made a few days later unless the MCRD has already planned that the battalion has all the recruits needed to form the recruit platoon series.
I would wager that his departure could be delayed about a week or so. But he may not get the air wing contract.
I wish you and your family all the best.

Gunny out
Semper Fi

[MarksMom]

Thank you for your reply, JCampbell. I truly appreciate it.

When you say his RO is feeding him a load of crap about the contract, what exactly are you referring to? I ask bc I thought the same thing when he was relaying the RO's reply to me. He's not allowed to have a copy of the contract in which he's basically signing his life away to the Marines?

I have to admit that this RO clear distortion of truth is shading our newly-formed relationship with the Marines in a bad light. I am to entrust an entity that is starting off with lies & withholding paperwork with my son's education, well-being & overall life ?

Do you know if his claim that the school or program my son will attend only starts once a year is true, thereby benching him for 2011? Pardon my ignorance, but what's a SNCO? Like I said, I'm new to this

Changing the wedding date would be the easiest of solutions...how I wish we could do this! Unfortunately, between all the moneys & non-refundable deposits laid out, out-of-town flights & hotels booked for guests & countless other constraints, it isn't an option for us. You'd think the little sh*t would've prevented this storm by at least giving us a warning, right? He didn't "announce" his decision until she "announced" what she thought was a great surprise: the confirmed wedding date. Yes, it was quite the day of tears around here - still is.

Thank you again to all for your help.

[JCampbell]

Ok, it has been almost 2 years since I was going through the paperwork to enlist, so my memory is a bit fuzzy on what I was given after I swore in at the MEPS. I don't recall whether I received any copies of the actual contract. Regardless, your son's enlistment is not permanent until he has the final swear-in the day he leaves for boot camp. Until that day, he has the power to decide what job contract he wants, and when he wants to leave.

Now the recruiter likely has limited spots to ship people in, and jobs are limited these days, so if this is what your son wants, it usually turns into a waiting game. It is up to your son if he wants to roll the dice on being able to get the same contract at a later date.

As far as the school only picking up once a year...I have never heard of any school only having one class a year. Also, if your son is going active duty, he is signing for a job field, not a specific job within that field.

SNCO means Staff Non Commissioned Officer, there should be a senior SNCO that is in charge of your son's recruiting substation. At this point, I think you and your son should arrange a time that you can sit down with that Marine and get your questions answered. If he cannot answer all of your questions, he will be able to direct you further up his chain of command to someone who can answer those questions.

[Old Marine]

If the above doesn't work out, ask the Recruiter for the name and phone number of the Officer In Charge of the particular district you son is enlisting in. Most of the time these officer's do not know what their Recruiters are feeding these kids.