Marine Officer 100 Word Statement.
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  1. #1

    Marine Officer 100 Word Statement.

    Hello all,

    I am applying for the opportunity to attend OCS and am currently working on the packet my OSO gave me. The 100 word statement is proving to be a challenge. I am posting the rough draft of my statement below and would appreciate any criticism. Thank you.

    The foremost reason why I want to become a Marine Corps Officer is to be a leader of Marines. When I made the decision to join the military, I researched all the branches. The Marine Corps stood out to me by virtue of its commitment to the values of duty, honor, courage and service to our country. To me, the values of the Marine Corps embody the best of our country and I aspire to become leader of these men and women. I realize that this is a long and difficult path but I am committed to becoming a Marine Corps Officer.

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  2. #2
    It tells me nothing about you. Opening is good, work on personalizing the rest. Maybe allude to Marines being the best men and women the US has to offer and how you want to lead them as well.

    Mike


  3. #3
    Our core values are honor, courage, and commitment. You use those words but they're mingled in with some others, and not identified as our core values. Don't know if that's intentional but it detracts from the core values. People reading your essay may be similarly confused and wonder why you just don't stick with the core values (those other words are just window dressing and I believe the Army uses duty as one of their core values).


  4. #4
    Thank you for the response sir. That is good advice, Ill add in some stuff about my family legacy to personalize it.


  5. #5
    Thank you for the response sir. I'll remove the non Marine Corps values.


  6. #6
    The 100 word statement is a surprisingly difficult task. You are really trying to condense who you are and what has drawn you to the Marine Corps in an incredibly small space. Your draft isn't bad, but as was said above: fix the core values and try to succinctly elaborate on your desire to lead Marines. Honestly, the selection board is going to read a lot of statements, and they blur together with the same moto lexicon. You want to stand out with the rest of your package; the statement is just an elevator speech. Good luck.


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