NROTC essay (VMI, Citadel)
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  1. #1

    NROTC essay (VMI, Citadel)

    Good evening,
    My name is Eyuel Dagnchew, I'm applying for a NROTC Marine Corps option scholarship and I need assistance on my essay.

    Discuss your reasons for wanting to become a Marine Officer. Specifically comment on leadership positions you've held, the challenges you have faced and the lessons you have learned.

    Growing up in a Korean War district in Ethiopia taught me a lot about my family’s history. My family member use to tell me about how my ancestors were in charge of the Ethiopian military for the past 200 years, even though the Cold War. The one thing they had in common was that they all had been assassinated; No really all of them were assassinated. One of them was assassinated by Emperor Menelik II and the others were assassinated during the Cold War.
    My father was born on a military base and lived most of his childhood life homeless. Likely because of this, nothing in my house was given, you had to earn it. We had a television in the apartment, but only had one channel: The news of course. I was stuck watching broadcasters and pundits for 4 years while my classmates had cable. While my peers gossiped about the new Sponge Bob episode, I talked about the 2004 Bush vs. Kerry elections.
    When someone older than me came to my house, my father forced me to kiss their knee before I greeted them. When I asked my father if this was a custom in his family, he replied and told me that this was not a custom this was just a way to teach me to respect my superiors.
    My father worked for President George W. Bush, so he wasn’t home that much. Since he was out of state often, I was the only one in the house who could speak fluent English. This forced me at a young age take and “man up.”
    Around the age of 14, I grew interested in the military; while other kids my age wanted to play basketball for the NBA, I wanted to become a Marine and lead men into battle. I was moved by the numerous stories about how my family helped Ethiopia become the only independent nation in Africa with old rifles and men/women that didn’t mind dying for their nation.
    Looking back at my childhood, I see how my family has built me to become a shepherd not a sheep. There were times when I disliked my parents because they were harsh, but how can I blame them. My bloodline has come a long away, and it’s my turn, now, to serve and protect.

    I don't know how to finish it; this is only a rough draft

    Thank you for looking at

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  2. #2
    I added another paragraph

    Growing up in a Korean War district in Ethiopia taught me a lot about my family’s history. My family member use to tell me about how my ancestors were in charge of the Ethiopian military for the past 200 years, even though the Cold War. The one thing they had in common was that they all had been assassinated; No really all of them were assassinated. One of them was assassinated by Emperor Menelik II and the others were assassinated during the Cold War.
    My father was born on a military base and lived most of his childhood life homeless. Likely because of this, nothing in my house was given, you had to earn it. We had a television in the apartment, but only had one channel: The news of course. I was stuck watching broadcasters and pundits for 4 years while my classmates had cable. While my peers gossiped about the new SpongeBob episode, I talked about the 2004 Bush vs. Kerry elections.
    When someone older than me came to my house, my father forced me to kiss their knee before I greeted them. When I asked my father if this was a custom in his family, he replied and told me that this was not a custom this was just a way to teach me to respect my superiors.
    My father worked for President George W. Bush, so he wasn’t home that much. Since he was out of state often, I was the only one in the house who could speak fluent English. This forced me at a young age take and “man up.”
    Around the age of 14, I grew interested in the military; while other kids my age wanted to play basketball for the NBA, I wanted to become a Marine and lead men into battle. I was moved by the numerous stories about how my family helped Ethiopia become the only independent nation in Africa with old rifles and men/women that didn’t mind dying for their nation.
    The one event that made me want to be a marine is when my NJROTC Unit took a multiday field trip to the one and only Parris Island. When my unit went to Parris Island I was selected to a Platoon Commander; I had about 18 cadets in my platoon. This trip was an eye opener for me I got the chance to see who I really was, what type of leader I really am. There were challenges with the young cadets but all leaders go through that; the good leaders don’t jump over this hurdle they gather their subordinates and take down the hurdle as one.
    Looking back at my childhood, I see how my family has built me to become a shepherd not a sheep. There were times when I disliked my parents actions because they were harsh, but how can I blame them. My bloodline has come a long away, and it’s my turn, now, to serve and protect.


  3. #3
    USMC 2571
    Guest Free Member
    Good essay. Go back and capitalize "Marine" in the 2nd to last paragraph, and concentrate MORE on the Marine Officer aspect of it, which after all, is what they want to know about, that is, why you want to be one. So tell them what it is about Marine OFFICERS that makes you want to be one. Otherwise, it is an excellent essay.


  4. #4
    USMC 2571
    Guest Free Member
    Don't get me wrong. THEY know what a Marine officer is. They probably want to hear from YOU what you think it's all about. Why do you want to become one? Include something about being a Marine officer in and of itself, what it means to you to want to be one. Why? What is it about Marine officers that appeals to you?


  5. #5
    Thank you for taking the time to read my essay and I will tell them what it is about Marine OFFICERS that makes me want to be one.




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