Should I marry my Marine - situation is different please read before answering

[Saraxo]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. I am 20 turning 21 and he is 23 turning 24. He is currently in boot camp at Parris Island (he decided later than usual to join the USMC). We have been through alot in our relationship and I don't doubt we can make it through anything. Will we make it through enlistments, deployments, instability and bad times isn't my question. My question is should we get married soon?

I am a full-time university student on the east coast, and I come from a wealthy family. Many Marines get married for the monetary benefits, and many women marry Marines for the same thing. That isn't the case for us. We are thinking about marraige to have more benefits for our *relationship*. Basically it will be much easier to see eachother, stay with eachother, and interact with eachother during his military career if we are married. The Marine Corps only recognizes marraiges and gives no privelages (overnight stays, living together even if its for short intervals) to non-married Marines in relationships.

If we were to marry we both agreed on having basic prenuptiuals. I would want a courthouse intimate situation... Until we are older and than have an actual wedding. We are not naive and by now we know what we want in a partner and are both confident we have found it in eachother. The communication, the mental stimulation, the sexual attraction, the faithfulness, the love... it is all there. BUT we are mature enough to know not to act on instinct, this is still a major decision. To wait or not to wait?

Similar Threads:

• Marry?
• Marine OCS, and my situation
• Marine reserve force in alabama..my situation
• Potential Marine in a bad situation - Looking for an experienced recruiter out there
• Potential Marine in a bad situation - Looking for an experienced recruiter out there

[Buddy14]

I know you probably don't know me or well I'm basically nobody but my advice to you is to well just go for it. Like you stated, you guys have everything in your relationship. If you keep doubting each other in waiting you guys probably wont end up getting married. just by the fact that your doubting your decision says your thinking things through like an adult. You guys are mature but there isn't anything wrong with natural instincts or a bit of a childish trait in an adult or just plain out anybody. Go for it, don't let the doubt get to you.

[elliscraig12]

"Until we are older and than have an actual wedding".

Which is exactly why you shouldn't get married now.

"Basically it will be much easier to see each other, stay with each other, and interact with each other during his military career if we are married".

You don't get married just so you can hang out with him. You either love him or you don't. Marriage is a commitment, a major commitment. If you have doubts now, there just might just be a reason for it. Think about it before doing anything you might regret later.

[Saraxo]

No your advice, any advice matters to me. Just wanted some opinions. I will deffinitely keep yours in consideration

[Saraxo]

@buddy14 :

No all opinions are welcomed! Thank you I will deffinitely consider everything you have said and keep note


@elliscraig12 :

So because we don't want to spend lavish amounts of money to humor people with a large wedding - that's a reason to not get married right now?

As for "You don't get married just so you can hang out with him. You either love him or you don't. Marriage is a commitment"

We love eachother very much (hense why its so important for us to remain in contact and connected, why we have even been considering our options).

There isn't a doubt on if I want to marry him or not, there is a doubt on whether right now is the right timing. But thank you! I will think thoroughly before making any big decisions.

[jrh]

Spending lavish amounts of money to humor people ? Who are you getting married to , Them or him ?
Our wedding cost less than $400.00 . We had all our friends there to wish us well , not to be entertained . Our marriage lasted 33 years until she died . No amount of money buy what we had together . I would do it all over again , if I could .
The question here is are you in love or in heat ?
Maybe you should wait . Worry about it later , if later comes .

[CplMotivate]

What does Jodie have to say about all this?

[irpat54]

posted by Saraxo
Basically it will be much easier to see eachother, stay with eachother, and interact with eachother during his military career if we are married. The marine corps only recognizes marraiges and gives no privelages (overnight stays, living together even if its for short intervals) to non-married marines in relationships.

When I was an Active Marine, I was married,, for me is was much easier because she was a Marine as well, but you have to understand that with being married to a Marine the Corps will always come first and foremost, there will be long periods of time that you will be separated, and if your in School you won't have a lot of time for "togetherness" as he will have his duties and you will be pressured with school,

Now being that your family has money, if he is sent to a duty station that doesn't allow for spouses you might be able to fly there and see him from time to time, but if not there is a good chance you won't see him for any wheres from 6 months to 18 months at a time except for leave time..

being a spouse of a Marine is not an easy task or job, it will take work and dedication of both sides,, it can be a good life or a drudgery, it will be what you, in particular make it, my advise is to check your inward feelings and decide accordingly,, many marriages end from unfaithfulness from one or another or both, but there are those who have a firm moral foundation and find that the Military life for both is quit enjoyable and love it, then there ore those who hate it,,

well that is my 2 cents worth, hope it helps
and best of luck to you both.. let us know when He earns the title..

[awbrown1462]

I feel this way go with your heart if you love each other you may make it no one can say if you will or not, being a Marine wife is not easy but if love is there it will make it easier. My uncle got married during Vietnam and stayed married for over 30 or 40 years till his death, had two great boys both are Marine vets one is now in the Army, but there is no way anyone can say yes you will make or not in the Marines or out of the Marines. Life is short go for it if you are ment to be you will last.

[fl1946]

Sara -- we're not in the position to dispute your close and loving feelings for your fiancee, but I question some of comments in your post. Specifically, referencing marry a Marine for wealth is about as far out to left field unless the lad has family assets. At best an E3 married with 3 yrs service will gross about $2100/mo, excluding base housing (if available) and other incidental allowances. Unless Bank of Mom & Dad can offset you, count on Dairy Queen, Pizza Hut and nightly Netflix as your recreational pursuits. In short, "marrying a Marine for money," mark the survey FALSE.

Marrying a person starting out his Marine Corps career with the intent to "build a relationship" is going to be a challenge if not a deal breaker for many young couples, especially in a service like the Marine Corps. Not only will you both face week night, overnight, weekend separations, but you will be apart for months (no if) when he's on deployment. Skype and e-mail (if available) is going to be your link to each other.

I don't understand why you brought up prenuptials. Sounds like you want to jump into the pool but fear the deep end. I am not suggesting you not to marry but your comments ring sorta hollow. Think it through young lady. Good luck.

[SGT7477]

Looks like another Jody case, Semper Fidelis.

[advanced]

I loved and was very close to all my wives, but I think I loved and was closest to #2 and #4. Being a Marine didn't change my life - much.

[CplMotivate]

I loved and was very close to all my wives, but I think I loved and was closest to #2 and #4. Being a Marine didn't change my life - much.

Nope, sounding like a normal Marine Corps life to me.

[Lisa 23]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years. I am 20 turning 21 and he is 23 turning 24. He is currently in boot camp at Parris Island (he decided later than usual to join the USMC).

Since your boyfriend didn't graduate from boot camp yet, you are not no Marine Spouse.
PM Rocky C to have your status changed to Marine Friend.

[CplMotivate]

Boom!