View Full Version : Enlisting and my family
Ok, I did a search for a topic like this but didn't quite find what I was looking for. My question is, I am working on enlisting (with a couple bumps in the road) but I will stop at pretty much nothing to get in. I have a wife and 4 month old son and my wife is a little apprehensive about all the time apart. Not so much the time apart if I get stationed overseas in Iraq or somewhere like that, but more the time apart for training and the MOS school. I was wondering if it is at all possible for my family to move with me to MCT and MOS school or do they really have to stay behind and wait for all my training to be done and over with?
For those wondering the "bump in the road" for me to enlist is that I was diagnosed as being bipolar. I honestly think it was a misdiagnosis but I need to talk to a psychiatrist about it and I'm not sure what to do with that. I haven't been on any meds since around summer of 2006 and both my wife and I honestly believe that I show no signs of being bipolar. As a side question...any tips on dealing with a consult at MEPS for this? I dream of being a Marine and will do everything I can to become one. My recruiter is willing to fight for me and do everything he can to help me get in and my wife is behind me 100%(despite being a little apprehensive about the extended periods apart).
KawiGunny
04-29-09, 11:11 AM
As far as the family goes..... leave them where they are till you get to your first duty station. Provided you are even accepted to attend bootcamp. If you are accepted, they will tell you the same thing. Bipolar is nothing to sneeze at. Your best bet is to get that cleared up if it was a miss diagnosis. If it wasn't, you are screwed with trying to join as far as I know. I have known a few people with that, none of which were in the Marines, and they had issues from to time. Good luck.
Thanks for the prompt reply. The recruiter suggested the same thing for my family and sounds like what we're going to do. My wife is ok with it she just has a little bit of dependency issues and is apprehensive about not being able to talk to me for the 13 weeks of boot except through letters. And for the bipolar goes, my recruiter told me about another guy he got in that had OCD, another automatic disqualifier as I recall, and that he was currently in boot. I honestly believe it was a misdiagnosis but even if it's not I don't need medicine for anything because as I've said before I haven't taken anything since summer of 2006 and have had no ill effects. None of the cycles of depression or mania that I am supposedly supposed to be seeing or anything indicating bipolar. I do have some scars on my arm from years ago when I was a teenager...but I think those were more of a cry for attention than anything. (I was the ignored middle child in my family. Parents never really encouraged me in anything and my other siblings always got the better deal in everything. I was even told that I was the "accident child." Parents wanted one boy and one girl and that was it...well they got my older brother and me and my twin brother. They did tell me once that I wasn't even supposed to be. Stupid ordeal now as I look back on it, but as a teenager it was a huge deal to me.) So I'm sure all my issues were just teenage angst and cries for attention.
KawiGunny
04-29-09, 12:05 PM
Whatever you do, make sure your recruiter knows everything. This other guy you are talking about, the recruiter probably didn't mention OCD anywhere in the paper work since it was an automatic disqualifier. If he gets caught somewhere down the line he will get kicked out for Fraudulant enlistment. The recruiter will just say he never told him anything about it. Stay honest with the recruiter and I am sure he will do everything possible to get you in.
CplHawk
04-29-09, 01:46 PM
I have to agree with Gunny on the family topic. I had a number of buddies in MCT and MOS schools who wanted to do everything the instructors said we could not (no family and no cars being the top two things). One Marine didn't listen about the family deal and had his wife get an apartment in Pensacola. He wasn't aware that he would end up spending only a couple months there before being sent to his next 2 school (one in Camp Pendleton and another in Jacksonville, FL). Another decided he wanted to bring his car along; you can imagine how much trouble he got in when he got his orders for school in Camp Pendleton and tried to drive there rather than fly, thinking if he drove without stopping he'd get there on time (which he didn't, by far). It's best just to follow the old rule of shut up and do what you're told. It sucks sometimes, but that's what you're signing up for.
Whatever you do, make sure your recruiter knows everything. This other guy you are talking about, the recruiter probably didn't mention OCD anywhere in the paper work since it was an automatic disqualifier. If he gets caught somewhere down the line he will get kicked out for Fraudulant enlistment. The recruiter will just say he never told him anything about it. Stay honest with the recruiter and I am sure he will do everything possible to get you in.
Yeah, my recruiter told me that the other guy didn't tell him anything about it and then started "singing like a canary" at MEPS and got disqualified. And the recruiter fought like hell to get him the consult and made sure to let his superiors know that the kid didn't say anything to him about the OCD. When I first walked into the recruiters office the first thing I told him after the fact that I wanted to enlist was that I was diagnosed as a bipolar. As of now all I'm doing is waiting on the recruiter to do his job as he has the paperwork he needs to get me in for a consult. He will be calling me once everything is set to get me to MEPS. Another question on this topic...would a civilian psychiatrist be able to sign off saying I'm fit for military service or do I have to do the consult at MEPS?
thewookie
04-29-09, 04:44 PM
My wife is ok with it she just has a little bit of dependency issues and is apprehensive about not being able to talk to me for the 13 weeks of boot except through letters.
I think you should find another goal in life if you want to keep your family. I wouldn't recommend leaving your wife and new son if she has some dependency problems, just my opinion.
What is she dependant on?
I think it would be a bad idea from that perspective, period.
When you leave - you are going to be like gone, off the face of the planet for over 3 months except for an occasional letter. That's a lot of pressure to put on her and if she is not disciplined, she will turn to whatever her release/escape is, the drugs, when she doesn't have you around.
I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV, but I think you should really think about it, good luck.
And then the bipolar,,,hmmm I'll leave my comments to myself there, good luck.
The biggest issue with my wife is that in all our time together we haven't really spent anytime apart. The most time we spent apart was a couple weeks and that was in the first part of our dating when we lived in separate states. That is her biggest issue...the suddenness of such a long time apart and the relative completeness of it. Thirteen weeks with letters as the only correspondence is a huge suddenness apart in our relationship. We are both 100% confident we can handle it especially knowing that with my decision to enlist will be by far the best thing I can do for my family. I am a 22 year old that can't seem to catch a break in the world...nowhere but fast food joints seem to be willing to give me a chance and they just don't pay enough and with no benefits it doesn't cut it with a family. After lots of discussion my wife and I have decided the Corps is just what we need. The other branches are nice in their own respects, but nothing compares to the sense of pride and discipline that comes with the Corps. I have researched this rather extensively, and the Marine Corps is what I desire and most likely need. I have friends and/or family in all the other branches except the Coast Guard and through their testimonials and my own research I still come back to a sense of need to be a Marine. I have no idea if anyone here can understand how I feel about this, but I will do everything it takes to become one of The Few and The Proud.
sparkie
04-29-09, 09:20 PM
Shet, son,,,,,,, I married my wife for the money, Since I had Wespac orders, I didn't expect to come back, and I wanted her to get the 'buy the farm' money. But, Let me tell ya,,,, I did come back,,, to a stranger. Since then, I've been hitched for 38 years, It's damm hard. It's damm hard, My best advice, don't do it. Do you and your wife have what it takes to overcome?? It's a Biatch.
Good luck,,,Son.