thedrifter
06-24-03, 07:23 PM
2/1 Veterans Reunite, Remember 'Brothers' at the Wall
Submitted by: Headquarters Marine Corps
Story Identification Number: 20036247859
Story by Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway
WASHINGTON(Nov. 11, 2002) -- The journey back to the States from Vietnam is a long one-9,006 miles, as the crow flies, from Ho Chi Minh City, formerly Saigon, to Washington-and 28 years after the last of America's military left the war-torn country, many veterans still struggle with the trip and their attempts to understand our nation's longest war.
Thousands of those veterans, their families and friends braved the blustery fall weather Nov. 6-11 for the 20th anniversary of the dedication of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, commonly called "the wall." For 65 hours, the staccato sound of volunteers reading names on the black granite memorial carried on the wind. The names are all that is left of the 58,229 sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters who died in Vietnam or later as a result of the wounds they received there. Those considered officially missing in action by the Department of Defense are also included in that number.
The memorial, dedicated in 1982, serves as a place for families, friends and fellow veterans to visit and pay homage to those they miss so dearly.
At the wall and across the grounds, grown men and women-whose average age was 19 when they served, but are now mostly gray-stand in clumps and embrace. Some are silent, almost stoic, in demeanor. Some cry, their shoulders shake as overwhelming emotions wash over them. Some speak soothing words of comfort in other's ears. They remember.
The Guilt of Coming Home
A common thread binding the lives of many of the veterans is their memories of the ones they "left behind." The emotion is especially difficult for Marines, says Tom "Stormy" Matteo, a two-tour veteran and the recipient of six Purple Heart awards. Marines have strong loyalties to their comrades and that drives their desire to leave no one on the field of battle.
"The guilt Marines feel is that (we) should not have left our fellow Marines," Matteo said. "I fought each day to stay alive and to help my friends stay alive. I did not engage in combat for any other reason."
Matteo's first tour in Vietnam was as a rifleman with 3rd Marine Division from 1965-66. He served with D Company, 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment in the Da Nang area and with H Co., 2/4 at Chu Lai.
Following his first tour, Matteo served as a weapons instructor at Parris Island, S.C. There, although his service was important, he always longed to be back in country with his brothers he left behind, he said.
When he returned to Vietnam in 1968, Matteo became a platoon leader with F Co., 2/1, 1st MarDiv. There, his feelings of loyalty and responsibility became even more intense. "Your decisions save and take lives, and combat is a toss of the coin at times. You normally have the capability to control your destiny in civilian life, but combat controls you. I think when you lose a Marine you actually see yourself there. The loss of that man is tremendous to you because you see yourself possibly in that situation one day."
Navy corpsmen saw many Marines in "that situation," says Brian "Doc" Murray, a corpsman who also served with F Co., 2/1 from 1968 to 1969. For him the guilt is especially hard because in Vietnam he was responsible for the day-to-day care of the Marines with whom he served.
"Those we served with were more than friends. We all felt our duty strongly," said Murray. "Marines were close to a limited number of comrades (in their squads) but we were responsible for a complete platoon. For this reason we 'left' a larger number behind when we rotated out."
The Healing Affects of Stone
A cold November wind chills the throngs of people who meander along the footpath of the memorial. Brightly colored autumn leaves mix with the mementos visitors place beside the stark, black granite wall. Platoon photographs, American flags and medals of valor lie in harsh contrast beside cans of Schlitz beer and dime bags of marijuana. Each tribute is significant to someone-a reminder of a friend or loved one lost on the battlefields of Southeast Asia.
A large group of 2/1 Marines are at the wall for their reunion. Many of their brothers still cannot visit the memorial, their emotional wounds still too fresh to be uncovered.
"Stormy" Matteo understands. It was in 1996, nearly 27 years after he left Vietnam, and 14 years after its dedication, that he finally visited the wall for the first time. He made the trip alone.
"I walked the wall and had no emotion or desire to touch it or look up at my friends' names," he said. "I just left a picture there with a poem and walked away from it."
Yet the wall holds an attraction for the veterans who feel ready to face their memories, and many return again and again to do just that.
"When I returned in 1998 and went to the wall with some great 2/1 friends, we all broke down and displayed emotion," said Matteo. "It was really hard, because when you see one of your brothers cry, you start crying for his pain. That was an experience I'll always remember."
Steve Brothers, a pipe fitter from Merrimack, N.H., and a 2/1 veteran from 1969 to 1970, also knows about the healing abilities of the wall, he said. His first trip to the memorial in 1993 was much like any other veteran's in that he had subconsciously suppressed memories of his experiences in Vietnam until then.
"I didn't feel (survivor's guilt) returning home (from Vietnam), because at the time I was unable to comprehend the magnitude of what really happened," said Brothers, who was with Weapons Plt., H Co., 2/1.
When he did finally visit the wall, the memories came flooding back, he said. He remembers questioning his ability to handle the sudden flashbacks of all the people he knew who had died there and all the people he had personally witnessed being killed there.
"My first trip to the wall was really hard, but each time I visit, it helps bring a little more closure," he said. "Although the wall may help me heal, I still (have) to relive certain parts of Vietnam that to this day are still there in my mind."
continued..........
http://www.usmc.mil/marinelink/image1.nsf/Lookup/200362471947/$file/wall-at-sunrise01low.jpg
WASHINGTON - As the sun rises, visitors gather at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, Nov. 8. Thousands of people visited the wall during the 20th anniversary of its dedication Nov. 6-11. The names of the more than 5,000 servicemembers etched on the wall were read aloud over the Memorial Day weekend.
Photo by: Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway
http://www.usmc.mil/marinelink/image1.nsf/Lookup/200362472138/$file/visitors01low.jpg
WASHINGTON - Visitors thronged to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, during the 20th anniversary of its dedication Nov. 6-11. The names of the more than 5,000 service members etched on the wall were read aloud over the Memorial Day weekend.
Photo by: Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway
http://www.usmc.mil/marinelink/image1.nsf/Lookup/200362472650/$file/3flags02low.jpg
WASHINGTON - Flags and other items line the base of the Wall at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington. The items were left as thousands of people visited the wall during the 20th anniversary of its dedication Nov. 6-11. The names of the more than 5,000 servicemembers etched on the wall were read aloud over the Memorial Day weekend.
Photo by: Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway
Submitted by: Headquarters Marine Corps
Story Identification Number: 20036247859
Story by Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway
WASHINGTON(Nov. 11, 2002) -- The journey back to the States from Vietnam is a long one-9,006 miles, as the crow flies, from Ho Chi Minh City, formerly Saigon, to Washington-and 28 years after the last of America's military left the war-torn country, many veterans still struggle with the trip and their attempts to understand our nation's longest war.
Thousands of those veterans, their families and friends braved the blustery fall weather Nov. 6-11 for the 20th anniversary of the dedication of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, commonly called "the wall." For 65 hours, the staccato sound of volunteers reading names on the black granite memorial carried on the wind. The names are all that is left of the 58,229 sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters who died in Vietnam or later as a result of the wounds they received there. Those considered officially missing in action by the Department of Defense are also included in that number.
The memorial, dedicated in 1982, serves as a place for families, friends and fellow veterans to visit and pay homage to those they miss so dearly.
At the wall and across the grounds, grown men and women-whose average age was 19 when they served, but are now mostly gray-stand in clumps and embrace. Some are silent, almost stoic, in demeanor. Some cry, their shoulders shake as overwhelming emotions wash over them. Some speak soothing words of comfort in other's ears. They remember.
The Guilt of Coming Home
A common thread binding the lives of many of the veterans is their memories of the ones they "left behind." The emotion is especially difficult for Marines, says Tom "Stormy" Matteo, a two-tour veteran and the recipient of six Purple Heart awards. Marines have strong loyalties to their comrades and that drives their desire to leave no one on the field of battle.
"The guilt Marines feel is that (we) should not have left our fellow Marines," Matteo said. "I fought each day to stay alive and to help my friends stay alive. I did not engage in combat for any other reason."
Matteo's first tour in Vietnam was as a rifleman with 3rd Marine Division from 1965-66. He served with D Company, 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment in the Da Nang area and with H Co., 2/4 at Chu Lai.
Following his first tour, Matteo served as a weapons instructor at Parris Island, S.C. There, although his service was important, he always longed to be back in country with his brothers he left behind, he said.
When he returned to Vietnam in 1968, Matteo became a platoon leader with F Co., 2/1, 1st MarDiv. There, his feelings of loyalty and responsibility became even more intense. "Your decisions save and take lives, and combat is a toss of the coin at times. You normally have the capability to control your destiny in civilian life, but combat controls you. I think when you lose a Marine you actually see yourself there. The loss of that man is tremendous to you because you see yourself possibly in that situation one day."
Navy corpsmen saw many Marines in "that situation," says Brian "Doc" Murray, a corpsman who also served with F Co., 2/1 from 1968 to 1969. For him the guilt is especially hard because in Vietnam he was responsible for the day-to-day care of the Marines with whom he served.
"Those we served with were more than friends. We all felt our duty strongly," said Murray. "Marines were close to a limited number of comrades (in their squads) but we were responsible for a complete platoon. For this reason we 'left' a larger number behind when we rotated out."
The Healing Affects of Stone
A cold November wind chills the throngs of people who meander along the footpath of the memorial. Brightly colored autumn leaves mix with the mementos visitors place beside the stark, black granite wall. Platoon photographs, American flags and medals of valor lie in harsh contrast beside cans of Schlitz beer and dime bags of marijuana. Each tribute is significant to someone-a reminder of a friend or loved one lost on the battlefields of Southeast Asia.
A large group of 2/1 Marines are at the wall for their reunion. Many of their brothers still cannot visit the memorial, their emotional wounds still too fresh to be uncovered.
"Stormy" Matteo understands. It was in 1996, nearly 27 years after he left Vietnam, and 14 years after its dedication, that he finally visited the wall for the first time. He made the trip alone.
"I walked the wall and had no emotion or desire to touch it or look up at my friends' names," he said. "I just left a picture there with a poem and walked away from it."
Yet the wall holds an attraction for the veterans who feel ready to face their memories, and many return again and again to do just that.
"When I returned in 1998 and went to the wall with some great 2/1 friends, we all broke down and displayed emotion," said Matteo. "It was really hard, because when you see one of your brothers cry, you start crying for his pain. That was an experience I'll always remember."
Steve Brothers, a pipe fitter from Merrimack, N.H., and a 2/1 veteran from 1969 to 1970, also knows about the healing abilities of the wall, he said. His first trip to the memorial in 1993 was much like any other veteran's in that he had subconsciously suppressed memories of his experiences in Vietnam until then.
"I didn't feel (survivor's guilt) returning home (from Vietnam), because at the time I was unable to comprehend the magnitude of what really happened," said Brothers, who was with Weapons Plt., H Co., 2/1.
When he did finally visit the wall, the memories came flooding back, he said. He remembers questioning his ability to handle the sudden flashbacks of all the people he knew who had died there and all the people he had personally witnessed being killed there.
"My first trip to the wall was really hard, but each time I visit, it helps bring a little more closure," he said. "Although the wall may help me heal, I still (have) to relive certain parts of Vietnam that to this day are still there in my mind."
continued..........
http://www.usmc.mil/marinelink/image1.nsf/Lookup/200362471947/$file/wall-at-sunrise01low.jpg
WASHINGTON - As the sun rises, visitors gather at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, Nov. 8. Thousands of people visited the wall during the 20th anniversary of its dedication Nov. 6-11. The names of the more than 5,000 servicemembers etched on the wall were read aloud over the Memorial Day weekend.
Photo by: Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway
http://www.usmc.mil/marinelink/image1.nsf/Lookup/200362472138/$file/visitors01low.jpg
WASHINGTON - Visitors thronged to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, during the 20th anniversary of its dedication Nov. 6-11. The names of the more than 5,000 service members etched on the wall were read aloud over the Memorial Day weekend.
Photo by: Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway
http://www.usmc.mil/marinelink/image1.nsf/Lookup/200362472650/$file/3flags02low.jpg
WASHINGTON - Flags and other items line the base of the Wall at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington. The items were left as thousands of people visited the wall during the 20th anniversary of its dedication Nov. 6-11. The names of the more than 5,000 servicemembers etched on the wall were read aloud over the Memorial Day weekend.
Photo by: Gunnery Sgt. Glenn Holloway