For the Poolees.

[firstsgtmike]

RELAX. Take your pack off for a moment.
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In his office following his normal Saturday morning "white glove" inspection, the retired First Sergeant called; "L/Cpl Farrell, Front and CENTER."

"L/Cpl Farrell reporting as ordered, First Sergeant."

"L/Cpl Farrell, you're eight years old, salute's still a little sloppy but I've noticed the improvement. Your area is squared away, but you need to provide closer supervision to PFC Farrell and Pvt Farrell. Ten demerits, DISMISSED."

"PFC Farrell front and CENTER."

"PFC Farrell reporting as ordered, First Sergeant".

"PFC Farrell, you're six years old. Sloppy salute, dirty area, (i.e. cookie crumbs) and you are NOT properly supervising Pvt. Farrell. Six demerits. DISMISSED!"

"PVT Farrell, front and CENTER!."

An unkempt, fearful four year old comes into the office and stands before the desk. " Ppprivvtte Fffarrrelllllll reeppoorttngg as oorddered, daddy er First Sergeant."

"PVT Farrell, just look at you!. You are a disgrace to your uniform. You ..., " and the sight of the tears in his son's eyes, the runny nose, and the quiet sobs melted the militant First Sergeant.

"Pvt Farrell,... son, ...dry your eyes,... wipe your nose, ...talk to me, ..I'll listen".

And as he wiped his runny nose on his sleeve, the pride and joy of the First Sergeant said; "Sir, How do I transfer OUT of this chicken**** outfit.?"
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O.K. Poolees. Break time' s over, back to work.

[Avatar0fCha0s]

I saw this on Grunt.com and thought everyone would enjoy it, I did :)

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will quickly be forgotten.