thedrifter
12-15-08, 08:12 AM
Ignorance: Billy Joel's Gift to the World
Greyhawk
(Update: Okay, there's really only one way to respond to crap like this. I've written my own song, dedicated to Billy Joel. You'll find it posted below.)
*****
So I'm out driving this morning, listening to Christmas songs on the radio. Among them, John Bon Jovi's "Back Door Santa" - first time I'd ever heard it, but I immediately thought it was the worst Christmas song I'd ever heard. (Update: Heh)
Until I got home and opened an email from Sgt Sumner (of 9/11 Families for a Safe and Strong America):
Greyhawk:
If you follow the links within the article and the instruction, you can both see the lyrics and for free download the actual song (just hit the skip icon in the payment options screen when you get to it). As Mrs G might read this ahead of you, I will not fully express here what I think of Joel's POS song.
Joel explains that he's "not charging for the song because he simply wants people to hear it and think of the soldiers - "those poor bastards'' - stuck in Iraq for Christmas."
But the song is his way of thanking the people of Australia for still thinking he's worth listening to:
"We wanted to do something to commemorate our tour of Australia,'' he said. "There are no other recordings of this song, with me singing, available.
"We thought it would be a nice way to say thank you on our last night in Oz: Merry Christmas!''
Australia is golden territory for Joel, who has sold more than five million albums here. It was also one of the first countries to break his career-defining hit, Piano Man, in 1975.
Joel wrote Christmas In Fallujah last year and originally had it recorded by young US singer Cass Dillon because, at 22, he is closer to the age of the soldiers who inspired it.
Hard to believe someone could be as ignorant of Iraq or the troops as Joel is, but it's true. Unfortunately he wants to share that ignorance with the world.
Lyrics below.
BILLY Joel's CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
IT’S EVENING IN THE DESERT
I’M TIRED AND I’M COLD
BUT I AM JUST A SOLDIER
I DO WHAT I AM TOLD
WE CAME WITH THE CRUSADERS
TO SAVE THE HOLY LAND
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
AND NO ONE GIVES A DAMN
AND I JUST GOT YOUR LETTER
AND THIS IS WHAT I READ . . . . . . YOU SAID
I’M FADING FROM YOUR MEMORY
SO I’M JUST AS GOOD AS DEAD
WE ARE THE ARMIES OF THE EMPIRE
WE ARE THE LEGIONNAIRES OF ROME
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
AND WE AIN’T NEVER COMING HOME
WE CAME TO BRING THESE PEOPLE FREEDOM
WE CAME TO FIGHT THE INFIDEL
THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THE DESERT
BECAUSE THERE IS NO GOD IN HELL
THEY SAY OSAMA’S IN THE MOUNTAINS
DEEP IN A CAVE NEAR PAKISTAN
BUT THERE’S A SEA OF BLOOD IN BAGHDAD
A SEA OF OIL IN THE SAND
BETWEEN THE TIGRIS AND EUPHRATES
ANOTHER DAY COMES TO AN END
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
PEACE ON EARTH GOODWILL TO MEN
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH
*****
Update: Okay, there's really only one way to respond to crap like this. I've written my own song, dedicated to Billy Joel:
A Short Pianist's Lament
It's evening in Australia
I'm on stage to sing and dance
But when I hit a high note
I completely **** my pants
I'm Billy Joel, goddammit
I'm as famous as can be
And you can ask your parents
I was married to Brinkley
Huh? Oh - she used to be a model
Your dad would probably know
And honestly she's still hot
But this is about MY show
When the record company called me
and said my records wouldn't sell
I told them they were crazy
I told them go to hell
I'm the guy that wrote "Piano Man"
Back in '73
Somewhere I've got a fan club
devoted totally to me
You think I can't be young and hip?
Can't get it up the charts no more?
Just wait a minute while I write
a song about the Iraq War!
I'll bet I can get a Grammy, dammit
On TeeVee (not just in my head)
Get Uptown Girl to answer my calls
and hang up on her instead!
What's that you say there, Sony?
You don't want my Christmas song?
It's because I'm Jewish, isn't it!
Wait, you say I got it wrong?
I'm what? Too old? You're ****tin' me!
The girls all think I'm thrillin'
Do what? With who? Go where? Up yours!
And who the hell's Cass Dillon?
I mean, I can play you a memory,
Though I'm not really sure how it goes
But its sad and its sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger mans clothes
So I'm off the wagon once again
In some bar on Christmas eve
Calling the waiter "my friend John"
And demanding my drinks for free
When in walks a guy in a sailor suit
I shout "ahoy there Davy"
"I bet it's me that you're comin' to see"
and he feeds me my teeth! F%^k the Navy!!
I'm Billy Joel, goddammit
I'm famous, I'm groovy, I find
Everywhere I go folks love me
Including Fallujah in my mind
I'm Billy Joel, goddammit
I'm famous, I've kept my groove on
Next year I'll play Caesar's Palace
As a warmup act for Elton John
-- Greyhawk, 2008
http://www.mudvillegazette.com/archives/031315.html
Ellie
Greyhawk
(Update: Okay, there's really only one way to respond to crap like this. I've written my own song, dedicated to Billy Joel. You'll find it posted below.)
*****
So I'm out driving this morning, listening to Christmas songs on the radio. Among them, John Bon Jovi's "Back Door Santa" - first time I'd ever heard it, but I immediately thought it was the worst Christmas song I'd ever heard. (Update: Heh)
Until I got home and opened an email from Sgt Sumner (of 9/11 Families for a Safe and Strong America):
Greyhawk:
If you follow the links within the article and the instruction, you can both see the lyrics and for free download the actual song (just hit the skip icon in the payment options screen when you get to it). As Mrs G might read this ahead of you, I will not fully express here what I think of Joel's POS song.
Joel explains that he's "not charging for the song because he simply wants people to hear it and think of the soldiers - "those poor bastards'' - stuck in Iraq for Christmas."
But the song is his way of thanking the people of Australia for still thinking he's worth listening to:
"We wanted to do something to commemorate our tour of Australia,'' he said. "There are no other recordings of this song, with me singing, available.
"We thought it would be a nice way to say thank you on our last night in Oz: Merry Christmas!''
Australia is golden territory for Joel, who has sold more than five million albums here. It was also one of the first countries to break his career-defining hit, Piano Man, in 1975.
Joel wrote Christmas In Fallujah last year and originally had it recorded by young US singer Cass Dillon because, at 22, he is closer to the age of the soldiers who inspired it.
Hard to believe someone could be as ignorant of Iraq or the troops as Joel is, but it's true. Unfortunately he wants to share that ignorance with the world.
Lyrics below.
BILLY Joel's CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
IT’S EVENING IN THE DESERT
I’M TIRED AND I’M COLD
BUT I AM JUST A SOLDIER
I DO WHAT I AM TOLD
WE CAME WITH THE CRUSADERS
TO SAVE THE HOLY LAND
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
AND NO ONE GIVES A DAMN
AND I JUST GOT YOUR LETTER
AND THIS IS WHAT I READ . . . . . . YOU SAID
I’M FADING FROM YOUR MEMORY
SO I’M JUST AS GOOD AS DEAD
WE ARE THE ARMIES OF THE EMPIRE
WE ARE THE LEGIONNAIRES OF ROME
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
AND WE AIN’T NEVER COMING HOME
WE CAME TO BRING THESE PEOPLE FREEDOM
WE CAME TO FIGHT THE INFIDEL
THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THE DESERT
BECAUSE THERE IS NO GOD IN HELL
THEY SAY OSAMA’S IN THE MOUNTAINS
DEEP IN A CAVE NEAR PAKISTAN
BUT THERE’S A SEA OF BLOOD IN BAGHDAD
A SEA OF OIL IN THE SAND
BETWEEN THE TIGRIS AND EUPHRATES
ANOTHER DAY COMES TO AN END
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
PEACE ON EARTH GOODWILL TO MEN
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH
IT’S CHRISTMAS IN FALLUJAH
HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH
*****
Update: Okay, there's really only one way to respond to crap like this. I've written my own song, dedicated to Billy Joel:
A Short Pianist's Lament
It's evening in Australia
I'm on stage to sing and dance
But when I hit a high note
I completely **** my pants
I'm Billy Joel, goddammit
I'm as famous as can be
And you can ask your parents
I was married to Brinkley
Huh? Oh - she used to be a model
Your dad would probably know
And honestly she's still hot
But this is about MY show
When the record company called me
and said my records wouldn't sell
I told them they were crazy
I told them go to hell
I'm the guy that wrote "Piano Man"
Back in '73
Somewhere I've got a fan club
devoted totally to me
You think I can't be young and hip?
Can't get it up the charts no more?
Just wait a minute while I write
a song about the Iraq War!
I'll bet I can get a Grammy, dammit
On TeeVee (not just in my head)
Get Uptown Girl to answer my calls
and hang up on her instead!
What's that you say there, Sony?
You don't want my Christmas song?
It's because I'm Jewish, isn't it!
Wait, you say I got it wrong?
I'm what? Too old? You're ****tin' me!
The girls all think I'm thrillin'
Do what? With who? Go where? Up yours!
And who the hell's Cass Dillon?
I mean, I can play you a memory,
Though I'm not really sure how it goes
But its sad and its sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger mans clothes
So I'm off the wagon once again
In some bar on Christmas eve
Calling the waiter "my friend John"
And demanding my drinks for free
When in walks a guy in a sailor suit
I shout "ahoy there Davy"
"I bet it's me that you're comin' to see"
and he feeds me my teeth! F%^k the Navy!!
I'm Billy Joel, goddammit
I'm famous, I'm groovy, I find
Everywhere I go folks love me
Including Fallujah in my mind
I'm Billy Joel, goddammit
I'm famous, I've kept my groove on
Next year I'll play Caesar's Palace
As a warmup act for Elton John
-- Greyhawk, 2008
http://www.mudvillegazette.com/archives/031315.html
Ellie