New to this [Archive] - Marine Corps

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 01:46 PM

Hi, I'm very new to this and i'm not good at writing but I want/need to join in. My son is 17 and told me Thursday that he is going the Marines and that on Monday I am to meet with the recruiter to sign papers. I guess my question is..is it normal to me feel like I can't believe this is happening and so fast? Is it what he really wants and for the right reasons? And at 17 is he able to fully think this through and know? It is going to be Monday soon and I will sign the papers for him..I have told him I will support him 100% if this is what he wants..he says it is. I asked him why so quick... before he said he would wait a while after high school..but now he's not..he said if he puts it off he might not do it..and if he goes in now it's a year sooner he would be out..he said he wants to be sucessful and become a cop afterwards..I guess he knows what he wants and I should take him at his word but he is so young. Also on Tuesday he does his physical and then spends the night at a hotel and then Wednesday does some test and then back home and on Saturdays will do the training things with the recruiter? So most will be back to normal till he goes to PI which I think will be in July. I cry so much! and already miss him and he's not even gone anywhere yet..I know it will be very hard on him too..I grew up in NC and always heard the PI is a tough place. He said he will talk to me more later..he has hardly told me anything..he kind of just sprung this on me and it seems really fast to me although he says he has thought it through...I wonder. Is this normal? Any advice?
I've done quite a bit of reading in here and you seem like a great bunch..thanks so much!!
Sorry this is so long..I'm just not sure how to handle all of this..I think I might explode..I guess I have a lot of questions running through my mind.

Anita

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 02:22 PM

I couldn't find out to edit..so hope this is ok to do. I did want to say that I am extremly proud of my son and love him dearly and have told him so. I have always and will support the military and want to be the best marine mom. I just hurt inside.

dono

11-08-08, 04:26 PM

Not sure of what the time line is. You say he'll be leaving in July? Sounds like the DEP, Delayed Enlistment Program, which is what my son did. So, he does finish high school. Sounds to me like he wants to get with the program and get himself prepared for boot camp.

My son did that as well. In fact, he went to the gym with his recruiter to work out. He dedicated himself to getting in the best physical shape that he possibly could.

I hear the sadness and a little shock because it seems to be falling on you out of the blue. I'd say that's about normal. What I did was to help my son understand that he should not do this unless he fully understood what Marine boot camp is all about - that it would be the hardest thing he had ever done. We talked a lot for a lot longer time that you have had. He made his decision and I supported him 100% when he made it. He told me, Dad, I want to be the best."

You have every right to question the recruiter about the timing. I urge you to do so. But, remember when he turns 18, he does not need you to sign.

I know it's tough. Hang in there. I hope other who know more and have experienced more than I will chime in.

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 05:19 PM

Thanks so much for responding. There is a lot of sadness. I guess because I don't understand because it did seem to fall out of the blue. I do support him and he says he has been thinking about it for a while. He has mentioned it before now but not in a way like he was real serious. But now I guess he was..he's like mom you know I've talked about it before..I guess what he thinks was talking is my thinking he mentioned that he was thinking. A month ago he was avoiding the recuriter like mad..everytime the phone rang..he was like don't answer it, tell him I'm not here, tell him I will call him if I change my mind, I heard him tell the recruiter that. But he still called for a while..and he talked to him alot at school. Then my son went to a Saturday workout a week ago and then Monday did the practice asvab test, then Thursday he said he would be late from school that he was talking to the marines and when he came home it was..mom Monday you suppose to go to the recruiters office to sign papers..I felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks. He says he is sure..he says he wants to be sucessful. I don't have anyone to talk to at all. I don't want him to get tired of me asking him if he is sure..the last thing I want is him annoyed with me.

Isrowei

11-08-08, 05:57 PM

I joined up at 17. My mom was a little upset.. wanted me to stick around for the summer. I left 3 days after graduation. Now.. almost 12 years later.. I'm still happy with my decision.

Sometimes when you know.. you know. And a boy has to be a man someday. Make his shingle and set it out, see if he succeeds or fails. The nice thing is, the Marine Corps is hard to fail at. The only thing you have to do.. is want it...

Your son will be fine. He's with good people. And while I readily admit bias when I say that, I think 233 years of Marines can provide ample testimony of the character of the organization.

Welcome aboard the Marine family! :)

dono

11-08-08, 06:01 PM

I may be mistaken and beg for correction if I am. But, I do not think that enrolling in DEP is the same as taking the oath to enter the USMC. I asked for a private discussion with our recruiter. My son waited outside and I was not bashful about asking all the questions I had.

If it is indeed DEP, I wonder if there is a real time pressure to get your signature. The recruiter, of course, wants to get it done. Not for any nefarious reason. He's doing his job.

Again, I hope some Marines will soon join in with some input / insight. Just know, you will not have to do this alone.

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 06:24 PM

Thanks Isrowei..I know he has to become a man..and that is fine..I guess I'm hurt, scared and confussed. I haven't really had anytime to talk with him..just a little here and there..it is such a big choice to make and although I know it can be a good choice..it just seems so quick and I hope he has fully thought it thru. It came so quick I thought he was being pushed but I suppose you can't be pushed if you don't won't to be pushed..but then theres peer pressure. Maybe I'm just thinking crazy..maybe it's a mom thing.
Congrats on 12 years !! And thanks bunches for you service. I have the utmost respect for you guys and when I see a veteran in public I thank them too..a few have looked at me like I have lost my mind..lol

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 06:36 PM

Hey dono, It is DEP that he is doing..I don't know what kind of pressure the recruiter was putting on my son at school..but I do know that he was pestering the crap out of him at home. And I figure which I may be wrong here but, do the recuiters always tell the truth and the whole truth? You all probably think I have lost my mind and a big ole' worry wort..lol but, i'm not always like this...I do see a good side to this but something just keeps nagging at me..
Thanks for being here..you'll probably kick me out. No really if there is no backing out I will be a great marine mom..all his buddys here love me.

Echo_Four_Bravo

11-08-08, 06:43 PM

The DEP means he is enlisting in the Marine Corps, but is not leaving right away. You could be in the Delayed Entry Program for up to a year, but the time could be as short as a few days if that is how things work out.

As for recruiters, if they lie they end up with many problems that can quickly end a career. They are going to paint everything in the best possible light. They are there to sell the Marine Corps, and they are among the best salesmen in the world. Like all Marines, they will walk through the very gates of hell to accomplish their mission, and getting people to enlist is their mission. But if you ask questions you will get truthful answers. It is up to your son to decide if the answers are sufficient.

I don't mean to sound rude, but in honesty the decision isn't yours to make. Since he is 17 you can delay the process, but on his 18th birthday he can enlist without your consent. Thus, I think it best to work with him to find a situation that makes both of you feel comfortable rather than trying to question the decision to enlist itself. If he is anything like me, once he made his mind up, there is no going back.

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 07:05 PM

I don't mean to sound rude, but in honesty the decision isn't yours to make. Since he is 17 you can delay the process, but on his 18th birthday he can enlist without your consent. Thus, I think it best to work with him to find a situation that makes both of you feel comfortable rather than trying to question the decision to enlist itself. If he is anything like me, once he made his mind up, there is no going back.

I totally agree with you..I think the comfort thing has a lot to do with it..I have already decided that I will sign the papers because as you say he can do it anyway when he turns 18 which will be in Feburary and I in no way want him to think I am againist him doing this if it is what he wants. Of course it's not what I want I'm a mom..moms are never comfortable..Seems like over night he got mature enough to think this through and make a decision..I'm just baffled..he did it so quick. And pray it's right for him. I don't think he is willing to find a situation that makes us both comfortable (whatever that could be..maybe another week or so to think?)..it seems to be Monday do or die..all plans seem to have been made and I just found out. I'm hanging in there though..

sparkie

11-08-08, 07:44 PM

My Question,,,, Does this empty you nest? Reguardless, it can feel strange and hurt a little,[or alot]. I emptied my parents nest, but my dad signed for me at 17, 5 months after beginning boot, I turned 18. It can/will hurt,,,but the pride will take over. trust us on that.

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 07:55 PM

Hi ya' Sparkie, No it doesn't empty the nest..but he is my baby and only boy. I have 2 girls also one at home and one lives down the street. I guess I just doubt that he can think for himself (I know he can..he's a smart boy)...which is my fault for always doing for him. Maybe he is more mature than I give him credit for. Guess it's time he learns to do for himself and I better teach him to iron and do laundry before boot camp. It hurts ALOT ok I'm a big wimpy..not usually. I'd kill or die for my kids and just want whats best..I know I should not doubt his decision..he's just never made a big one before..other than the car he wanted..lol..which I can't believe he is willing to leave even for boot camp. I want to thank you all..and for being here it means the world..you are the best.

sparkie

11-08-08, 08:09 PM

So,,,, This means the girls will have a real big brother. And you will have a protector of a Nation. [ Try to see the good light ]. I do feel for your situation, having all 3 kids outta the nest now. I'll shut up, I know your pain is your own.

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 08:24 PM

yeah they will have a real big brother...I do still have 1 girl at home tho. Don't know for how long. I do see the bright side..I know he will learn so much and I am so proud of him and know I will be even more proud later..and sparkie don't ever shut up..well maybe not ever depends on what you are saying...anyhoo..I just have to drop my doubt which is hard and other times it's easier..damn I'm a mess..lol I know he will be a great protector of this nation. I have faith in him!!

sparkie

11-08-08, 08:28 PM

Many of us have,,,, and will, pray for you. Carry yourself tall. SF.

marinemama

11-08-08, 08:37 PM

Both of my son's, my only children, left the same day for boot camp...it is a choice they made, with my 100% backing. I wanted them to be the best trained, have someone to carry them out if they were injured or killed and be part of a truly great brotherhood. I miss them very much...my home is quiet and empty, but my grocery bill is lower :o) Every ounce of doubt will be taken away when you see him in his uniform standing proud and tall on graduation day. If you need a chat, please feel free to e-mail me...been there done that and have the very proud Marine Mom moto shirts...lol At the end of the day, it really is his choice...nothing us Mom's can do but write letters and hope for a weekend like this, where I have BOTH of them home :o) I had no idea my youngest would be in from Lejeune and he walked up behind me and scared the bejeezus out of me :o)

Welcome to the Marine Family!

breezyseaz

11-08-08, 09:58 PM

Thanks..it really does help to talk to someone. You seem to cope quite well. I'm sure I will get there with time..thanks so much for saying I can email..and I will...it really means alot. I do have a few questions.
What a exciting surprise your son gave you!! How happy you must feel to have them home for the weekend. Enjoy them and hug them..I know you will.

DAMNPROUD

11-09-08, 06:01 AM

anita, your feelings are completely natural.you have been taking care of your boy his whole life and now he is going on his own.joining the Marines is huge for him and it will pay off.what you are going through now is tough,and i hate to say it will probably get worse when he is in PI.there is alot of support here dont be afraid to use it.

be damnproud

breezyseaz

11-09-08, 09:30 AM

Thanks so much Damnproud!!! I have only had 3 days to think about signing the DEP papers and I think that is making a little harder too..no time to think. I figured it would get harder when that time comes.
Is there anything I should let him know about PI?? Any good books out there?
I know one thing I hope there aren't many butterflies there he has a panic when one is near him...lol

DAMNPROUD

11-09-08, 10:09 AM

anita ,"MAKING THE CORPS" by thomas ricks is a good book.it will give you a little insight of what he will go through at PI. YOU WILL BE FINE!

breezyseaz

11-09-08, 11:42 AM

Thanks..is there any truth to those e books you see online about prepare for boot camp? And should he be learning the marine hymn and things like that before hand?

dono

11-09-08, 12:00 PM

Thanks..is there any truth to those e books you see online about prepare for boot camp? And should he be learning the marine hymn and things like that before hand?
I'm sure all the knowledge will help. But, what my boy concentrated on was getting strong as he could. Our recruiter pointed out that if you go down there and struggle with the PT, it only adds more to the stress level.

He got him a chin up bar and a gym membership. And he ran.

yellowwing

11-09-08, 12:11 PM

Maybe its not so out of the blue if you reflect back on your son's life. I know for me that back in the fourth grade we had a teacher that read us Bible chapters each morning. I usually zoned out except when King David was routing the Philistines or during Joshua's assault on Jericho. I perked up then!

I was always reading war comics like Sgt Rock and watching war drama on television. Not just that either, my personality had me standing up for kids that were picked on by bullies.

So my folks were concerned but not too surprised when I enlisted.

breezyseaz

11-09-08, 01:47 PM

dono, He is doing that... works out, runs, he can do about 12 chin ups I think, said the crunches are hard though..he is trying to prepare physically, I hear the mental is pretty tough too..

A chin up bar for home is a good idea tho..maybe I'll go get one of those..
Thanks for anwering and not getting tired of me..

breezyseaz

11-09-08, 01:56 PM

yellowwing, you are right...it might not be as much out of the blue as I think..he has mentioned it before, at one time he was thinking of being a army ranger, and he loved playing socom when he was a few years younger, and he does watch a lot of war things on tv..and he knows I always supported the troops and sent care packages etc. and that I think highly of the job the military does....I don't know that I could be so brave.
Thanks

Echo_Four_Bravo

11-09-08, 02:19 PM

You asked about the online resources. Some of them are good, some are not. Send him to our poolee hall and ask a Marine sections and he can learn all he needs to know. A search of those forums should give him more information that he could ever hope to have.

breezyseaz

11-09-08, 02:31 PM

Thanks Echo..will do.

MPMOM

11-09-08, 05:00 PM

hi breezy, my son was 17 when i signed the papers and people asked me at work why I did, I told him he's gonna do it when he's 18 anyway at least he knows he has my full support. It does sound like the DEP program which is what my son joined also, however, do be prepared for him to leave early as that can happen also. My son was due to leave on Feb 4th and went in on Nov 3, 3 months early. He's done well in the Marine Corps and last July he reenlisted. Just support him and come here to ask your questions. He's gonna have a lot on his mind and hopefully won't be too worried about MOM.

Carolyn

breezyseaz

11-09-08, 08:09 PM

Hi Carolyn, I'm still debating this..I would sign tomorrow and he would go to MEPS Tuesday. Did you have very long to think about it..I have had 3 days and not much time to talk to my son he's been at work and I feel forced to sign so quick. I really hate to say no cause I do support him but this 3 day time period is getting to me...

dono

11-09-08, 08:13 PM

My son was due to leave on Feb 4th and went in on Nov 3, 3 months early. He's done well in the Marine Corps and last July he reenlisted. Just support him and come here to ask your questions. He's gonna have a lot on his mind and hopefully won't be too worried about MOM.

Carolyn

Did he graduate? I thought the Corps wanted high school graduates.

MPMOM

11-09-08, 09:11 PM

Did he graduate? I thought the Corps wanted high school graduates.

Yes, he graduated in May and was gone in November to boot camp. But really it's all good. It's gonna be hard don't get me wrong, but well worth seeing how proud your son is for what he's accomplished.

dono

11-11-08, 10:16 AM

ScottsMom

11-11-08, 11:44 AM

My son joined the DEP during the middle of his junior year when he was 17. He knew and I knew that this is what he wanted. If I hadn't signed for him, he would have signed himself the day he turned 18. I supported him 110% and it turned out to be the best decision he has made, thus far. Good luck to you.

breezyseaz

11-11-08, 01:19 PM

Update...I thought of doing this when I got up this morning... My son said it was ok for me to have a little time to think about this..he says he understands how I feel....we had talked back in the summer about his friend that was doing the Army boot camp for a month and I had told him I thought that people should wait till they were out of high school and get a feel for life for maybe a year. So I feel sure I will sign for him..I guess I'm just trying to delay hoping he will change his mind like he has so many times before. Or that maybe he would choose something other than infantry..other than that I don't know why I don't just go sign..I think about it constantly.

Now I do have a question.. what other than the prep do you get out of joining DEP?

quillhill

11-11-08, 02:41 PM

breezyseaz, I think if you do a search for Poolee events in the Pool(ee) Hall, you'd see some of the stuff Poolees do while in the DEP. That whole section might be a good resource for you, too, in addition to the Parents section. :)

I have a friend who is in third phase (joshtky here) at Parris Island and I've been emailing his mom back and forth the past month or so. Josh is 26 and she's just as worried about him as you are about your 17 year old son. You are so not alone in this.

breezyseaz

11-11-08, 06:12 PM

Thanks quill, It is very hard. I'll be doing ok and then look at him and get all teary again or just start thinking a little about him going. I know in the long haul I will be very proud of him..he is a great kid. I hope I am able to handle it a little better day by day..I'm not as big a mess as I was a couple of days ago. I wish your friends mom all the best and that God eases some of her worry.

breezyseaz

11-12-08, 11:45 AM

ScottsMom

11-12-08, 11:58 AM

I have tried too look for the answers but I can't find them...

1. When you sign up for DEP do you have to do MEPS immediately afterwards or can you have a while?
2. What would my son learn in Infantry?

I'm sorry for my lack of knowledge about these things but if I don't ask I will never know.
:confused:

My son went to MEPS when he first signed up for the DEP, in his junior year of High School. He then went back the day before leaving for Boot Camp which was a year or so later from his first visit to MEPS.

My son is Infantry, he is an 0313 LAV Crewman. I can't really explain what he has learned so far, a lot of what he tells me I don't understand anyway, but he is very patient in trying to help me understand.... I just know that he loves his job and is very motivated!

0231Marine

11-12-08, 12:03 PM

Ma'am,

In response to your questions, no, he doesn't have to go to MEPS immediately although going doesn't make it mandatory that he ships to boot camp. Up until that moment he gets on the bus to go to PI/SD, he's still a civilian and can change his mind.

Marine Corps infantry is the "Tip of the Spear" to use a common term. They are the first to the fight and can deploy anywhere in the world in under 24 hours (just as every other Marine can). His primary mission will be to locate, close with and destroy the enemy through fire and maneuver and repel the enemy assault through fire and close combat. Basically, he'll learn to become a ferocious warrior in the modern day sense of the word. Military tactics and close quarters combat, learn how to direct fields of fire, call for air support, use of terrain for cover and concealment, land navigation and how to operate the many different weapons that Marine infantry uses.

Now, this knowledge is not exactly transferable to many jobs in the civilian world if he decides to leave the Marine Corps before retirement. However, having United States Marine on any job application is certainly a bonus in the civilian world.

Hope this helped!