Thinking about joining

[matthewj]

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to join the military and ever since I was about 8 I realized that the Marine Corps was the only branch for me. Right now I am almost 23 years old and have been married for about 2 years. I currently work at a family business which I had planned on taking over. Because of this I decided to not join the military so that I could provide a nice life for my wife and future kids.

Yesterday I got the news that a leadership position in the company simply isn't in the cards for me. This was at the same time a devestating and liberating feeling. I mean I want to work for the family business but I never did anything I wanted to do because I always had so many people telling me just how lucky I am and how joining up would be throwing all that away.

So here I sit, 22 years old with no degree, stuck in a dead end job with a wife to support (currently she is in school working part time.) She of course does not want me to join because not only would I spend long periods of time away from her but chances are real good I would end up in Iraq for prolonged periods.

I am gitty over the idea of joining but I do love my wife and being away from her for over a year at a time scares the crap out of me. I mean I do think she would wait on me and be faithful but is that really fair to her?

Recently she quit her full time office job to persue something that makes her happy and the other night while we were in bed told me she wanted me to do the same. I have talked about the military before but what I talk about most is law enforcement. Anyways she knows it has always been a dream of mine and she knows how important it is to actually do what you enjoy (I was in the process of doing that to give her a better life.)

So tonight I am going to grab a 6 pack on the way home and talk about it with her. I doubt it will go well but I think she will tell me to do what my heart says.

Any tips or advice?

[sparkie]

Tough one,,,,,,, since you are OBLIGATED. Be a man, respect your wife's needs and wishes, cause she is first if you are a man. If you two work it out, great. If not, great. 'Cause you are a man.
Anyone not taking care of their own is not a man.

[Big Jim]

Sparkie's right. She was the first committment you made. You can still get into Law Enforcement, but hey, if she really doesn't want you to go, I think you owe it to her to at least hear her out completely as to why she doesn't want you to join. Deployment to Iraq is a big one, too. Although is up to you and the integrity of your marriage...it might be a good idea to uphold your committment.

[matthewj]

Tough one,,,,,,, since you are OBLIGATED. Be a man, respect your wife's needs and wishes, cause she is first if you are a man. If you two work it out, great. If not, great. 'Cause you are a man.
Anyone not taking care of their own is not a man.

Well my family is my first priority by far. I told my mom (who happens to be my boss) about this and she flipped, told me she would do anything (mentioned doubling what I make even) for me not to join. My dad (and other boss) then called me on my way home from work and begged me not to sign anything when I go talk to the recruiter and talk to him before I even mention the whole thing with me wife. I think I am going to talk to the recruiter at lunch tommorow and then think about it over the weekend before I talk to my wife.

[sparkie]

OK, Just don't put on that "Poor Little Boy" face that we all have, and make your wife agree just cause she's afraid of hurting that poor little boy. I know you understand.
Get a real answer..... Then the he!! with the in-laws. Get the answer you can sleep with.

[CplKJSpevak]

I meet guys all the time, who are totally impressed with people who have served in the Marine Corps....I had to deploy from my wife twice....six months at a time...Wives can keep themselves busy with jobs,classes, But leaving the kid was the hardest thing. You live once, Marines are known and respected the world over. I will tell you this, Your wife sounds real cool, and if you don't do this... You will always regret it. Your mothers response about the salary increase, seems to show like forces are trying to trap you into something..You are still young enough to be your own man....

[SlingerDun]

I took the liberty of rearranging these quotes for cyphering purposeshttp://www.leatherneck.com/forums/images/icons/icon10.gif
Yesterday I got the news that a leadership position in the company simply isn't in the cards for me. This was at the same time a devastating and liberating feeling....

Recently she quit her full time office job to pursue something that makes her happy and the other night while we were in bed told me she wanted me to do the same....

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to join the military and ever since I was about 8 I realized that the Marine Corps was the only branch for meMarriage and the Marine Corps, two full time commitments. Sounds like an obtainable plan,
(currently she is in school working part time.) She of course does not want me to join because not only would I spend long periods of time away from her...but chances are real good I would end up in Iraq for prolonged periods...I am gitty over the idea of joining but I do love my wife and being away from her for over a year at a time scares the crap out of meYet laced with apprehension and booby traps.


Anyways she knows it has always been a dream of mine and she knows how important it is to actually do what you enjoySounds good on paper but if military spouse life isn't her thing, separation is almost inevitable.


So tonight I am going to grab a 6 pack on the way home and talk about it with her...Any tips or advice?Yes, don't drink and drive it can **** up your life. Good Luck

--->Dave

[sparkie]

Kevin...... You're sounding very cool to some I guess. But your advice is sounding imature to me. I don't live to 'impress' guys. Your wife and kid could keep themselves "busy"? You won't be "trapped into something"? You shall always "be your own Man"?
Sorry, Marine, I don't mean to pick,,,, But GROW UP. Not dissing,,, Just my old opinion. YOU MAY FIRE WHEN READY. I'm sorry I felt compelled to peck this out. Forgive me, Bro.

[sparkie]

Is the EGA worth a broken ,Marrage, Heart, Loved one, Human? Is it worth a broken word, promise, honor.?
Break a life,,,so what for now. Then go back and fix it. Ain't happening.
Some of us need to grow the fuk up.

[CplKJSpevak]

Yeah, I guess your right....I mean, All the soldiers under Washington were probably single, didn't put any kind of a civilian life on hold to have the balls to face off with the strongest army in the world....Same thing for the Union soldiers in the American Civil War who joined to preserve the Union (and made America what it is today) for them was it Sacrifice or Convenience?? Of course it was sacrifice,.....There are many,many,many Muslims around the world who would like to see harm done to the US in any way possible....Maybe this guy won't join, maybe it's best for him, But SOMETHING inside of him brought him onto the site!.....and C'mon Sgt. you can't tell me you don't think his family (with their business) have him by the short and curly's!.....Our nation has a short history, so we should all become familiar with it to appreciate the Sacrifice's made by MANY!!:)

[Big Jim]

Yeah, I guess your right....I mean, All the soldiers under Washington were probably single, didn't put any kind of a civilian life on hold to have the balls to face off with the strongest army in the world....Same thing for the Union soldiers in the American Civil War who joined to preserve the Union (and made America what it is today) for them was it Sacrifice or Convenience?? Of course it was sacrifice,.....There are many,many,many Muslims around the world who would like to see harm done to the US in any way possible....Maybe this guy won't join, maybe it's best for him, But SOMETHING inside of him brought him onto the site!.....and C'mon Sgt. you can't tell me you don't think his family (with their business) have him by the short and curly's!.....Our nation has a short history, so we should all become familiar with it to appreciate the Sacrifice's made by MANY!!:)


It would be different if you two got together AFTER you were already in the Marine Corps. That way, she'd know and understand the first one you made the committment to was the Marine Corps and she would wait for you while you would be on deployment. As it stands, it sounds like she doesn't to want to be without you and if you do go and join...you'd be leaving her for good. You have to respect your first committments first, understand? We Marines are known for our honor, but you don't have to be a Marine to have honor. If she would be on board with you joining and support youno matter what, then more power to you. But you owe it to yourself, her and your marriage to give it your best shot to be there for the marriage. What I'd be trying to do is convince the ol' lady that the Marine Corps is the best thing since sliced bread!! Just my $00.02.....

[sparkie]

Kevin, why did you join? It should have been for your mamma, not your macho. We have men to serve without breaking up the American family.
I asked you to fire a shot across the bow. I was Career Marine till I married. Someone stepped up to take my place. Was that you? Maybe. Fire away, Son.
When it comes again to OUR shores, I will be way ahead of you, Then my family be dammed. Till then, try to Perserve the America I love.
Nice Shootin, Marine. Fire away.

[CplKJSpevak]

oh yeah....... and "not dissing but grow the fuk up"........settle down Sparkie, no need to be directly insulting...

[Big Jim]

Kevin, why did you join? It should have been for your mamma, not your macho. We have men to serve without breaking up the American family.
I asked you to fire a shot across the bow. I was Career Marine till I married. Someone stepped up to take my place. Was that you? Maybe. Fire away, Son.
When it comes again to OUR shores, I will be way ahead of you, Then my family be dammed. Till then, try to Perserve the America I love.
Nice Shootin, Marine. Fire away.

Can I put one in the chamber, Sparkie? Just in case the boy misses...I'll just graze you...I promise....LOL!!

[sparkie]

What we may have, Bro, Is A failure to communicate...... A Diff of opinion perhaps. Doesn't mean I don't respect your service. I love ya, cause your my Bro. I guess we have comandeered this thread. We are wrong in that.

However when I said " some of us" I really meant Much more than you.
The Marines is not the end all, do all in this pathetic life of ours.

[sparkie]

Big Jim,,,,,, Quit Kibbitizing,,,, LOL.

[Big Jim]

Big Jim,,,,,, Quit Kibbitizing,,,, LOL.


BANG!!! Dam...Maggie's drawers!!! LOL! Kibbitzing...? WTF is that, man?! LOL! I been around the world twice, to many hog calling contests and a beauty show and I ain't NEVER heard that word...is it Yittish? LOL!

[sparkie]

Google it,,, and stop butting in. Got it yet? Yea, Yiddish.

[CplKJSpevak]

Ok....We can agree to disagree,Being Marines neither of us are going to back down anyway...But one thing you said is sticking with me..............................It did come to OUR shores Sept. 11th 2001
I love ya too bro....Semper Fi

[MyCorps]

Sparkie- CplKJSpeval...cool it. Behave like Marines.

Mathew-
As much as I would love to tell you to join the Marines, your commitment is to your wife and children first. Why are you so bent on joining the Marines?
I believe you need to look at the life style you are providing your family right now, will an enlisted income match that? We all know the the military is severely underpaid. Joining the Corps AFTER you already have a wife and kids is going to be very hard on the family as a whole. Ultimately, no one here can tell you the correct answer. Your decision must be based on a mutual decision between you and your wife with much consideration to your children.

[CplKJSpevak]

Have any of you ever seen the movie "Gods and General's?"..

[CplKJSpevak]

If you wanna see people who "Thank God" followed their internal calling to duty....or look up, Col. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain of the 20th Maine volunteer Regiment...He led quite the remarkable life, and answering that calling directly led to him making a difference in the history of this Great Nation of Ours :)

[jrhd97]

Well my family is my first priority by far. I told my mom (who happens to be my boss) about this and she flipped, told me she would do anything (mentioned doubling what I make even) for me not to join. My dad (and other boss) then called me on my way home from work and begged me not to sign anything when I go talk to the recruiter and talk to him before I even mention the whole thing with me wife. I think I am going to talk to the recruiter at lunch tommorow and then think about it over the weekend before I talk to my wife.
Your wife is your primary family now. Once you married her, she became the number one priority, yes ...... even over mom and dad. Talk to her first, then your parents. If she finds out you talked to them before her, you will have a well deserved mess at home.
To tell you tuthfully, your parents have no say. Sure listen and respecting them is one thing, but they can not run your life to there liking. If you let them do that you will come to be very miserable and resent them.
If you do not like what you are doing, get out. It is there business. They may be angry and disappointed, but your a grown man. As long as you AND your WIFE are in agreement, and you can support her, have at it. Agreement doesn't mean she has to like the idea, but be supportive and commited to standing behind you.
Take a good look at what you will be payed and the length of time you will be gone for boot camp and MOS school, can you and her cope with that? Do you both understand deployments up to a year at a time with out her? When you reach the appropriate rank and get an assignment like Okinawa, if she goes it is three years. Take into account how much you will change while at boot camp, will she support and stay with the stranger, the Marine that comes back?
I'm not trying paint her in a bad way, but women, and men, do leave over change. Tend to her and your marriage, it is the most sacred and important covenant you will make. If the Marine Corps fits, great.

[Marine84]

Well.............I'm pretty much with the guys. It's not fair to your wife at all that you want to make a commitment to the Corps (and it IS a commitment) after you've made one to her. If she can handle taking care of everything while you're gone, not fking around on you while you're gone and only talking to her when the Corps says you can while you're gone - then by all means GO FOR IT!

However...........................IF she can't handle any of the above, do the Honorable thing and be the best husband you can be to her.

[sparkie]

Sparkie- CplKJSpeval...cool it. Behave like Marines.

Mathew-
As much as I would love to tell you to join the Marines, your commitment is to your wife and children first. Why are you so bent on joining the Marines?
I believe you need to look at the life style you are providing your family right now, will an enlisted income match that? We all know the the military is severely underpaid. Joining the Corps AFTER you already have a wife and kids is going to be very hard on the family as a whole. Ultimately, no one here can tell you the correct answer. Your decision must be based on a mutual decision between you and your wife with much consideration to your children.
First,,, We did behave like Marines,,, After all, Thats who we are. Notice us parting the conversation.....as Brothers.
Second, I agree with the rest of your post. Family is VERY important once you have made that manly Commitment. In reading my full post, you will see family means much to me. It is the unsung fabric of my country. I'd like to make you a buddy, however, I have to many Ossifers already,,,LOL.

I see you have the Gunny waiting to be your Buddy,,,, No better friend...