Family trying to talk me out of it

[gobuffs10]

Did this happen to any of you? My family is trying to talk me out of enlisting. Nobody in my family has ever served before, minus grandfathers. Here's what they say
"But you'll go to war..."
"What if you don't come back?"
"You want to kill people?"
"Once you are in you are in..."
"Can you handle someone yelling at you ALL the time?"
"My coworkers son is a Marine, she said it changed him."
"They lied to him too, said he would be doing one job, then gave him a rifle and sent him to Iraq."
"The Marines and the Army are the first guys in...how about the Navy?" (that one made me laugh)
"You have other options, I think you need to consider them."

It just sucks. I explained my reasons for wanting to do it and my mom recognized them as all valid reasons, then continued to give me ****. They didn't really say anything at first, a few weeks ago when I mentioned it, but now that they know I'm serious things have changed. My dad hasn't said much, so I don't know where he stands. My mom gave me all that crap and then said "I'm not trying to discourage you." Oh really? Sounds to me like that's EXACTLY what you are trying to do. My sister told me I ruined her night and hasn't spoken to me since I told her I wanted to enlist. The only people who are behind me are my girlfriend (kindof, and it's only because she is encouraging and way too nice for her own good...if she told me what she really felt it would be much different) and two of my friends. My best friend pretty much called me a retard for wanting to join. Nobody thinks I am going to follow through, and it's just becoming more motivation to do this (not that I need any...I have made my decision).

I'm just disappointed. I really thought my mom and dad would be proud of me, proud to have a son that wanted to be a part of the best. My parents are both firm military and Iraq war supporters, so their disapproval really came as a shock and it dismayed me a little bit.

How did you all get over negative reactions? It hasn't swayed me one bit (ok...it did for like 20 minutes) but it is still hard, trying to undertake something like this while knowing those closest to me do not approve.

[Goose]

My father & grandfathers all served in the Army. My Father wanted me to go that route. However, maybe the best thing is to explain to your folks is you want to serve because you want to honor your country. You want to keep this country free. Yes it's true it will change you.....For the better. I've be out of active duty for almost 20 yrs now. But I still walk tall and have better work habits than most of my friends from High School. I owe all of that from the Marine Corps. Yes there is a chance you may have to go overseas and fight. But that is the price of freedom. Be proud and respect your parents. Do your homework and when they say something negative about the Service come back in explain to them the postive. Good Luck :flag:

[dmdenike]

Just ignore them. There are plenty of people out there that just dont understand why we want to become Marines. I enlisted May of 07' and I've been hearing it for a year now. I just laugh and ignore it.

Your parents may not be supportive now, but I'm pretty sure they'll be proud and supportive when you graduate boot camp.

edit: just read your profile and realized your 20. Dont let them talk it out of you. You'll regret it and be the "I coulda been a Marine, I woulda been a Marine, or I SHOULDA been a Marine." Just dont worry about them, worry about what YOU want.

[davblay]

At the age of 20, you remind me of an old Beatles song:

"HE'S A REAL NOWHERE MAN
SITTING IN HIS NOWHERE LAND
MAKING ALL HIS NOWHERE PLANS
FOR NOBODY"!

"HE'S AS BLIND AS HE CAN BE
JUST SEES WHAT HE WANTS TO SEE,
ISN'T HE A BIT LIKE
YOU AND ME?"

Those words, to that song, were written more than 40 years ago!

It takes a certain knd of person to want to become a Marine, to give up the lifestyles of todays teenagers, but i am seeing it more ever day. Young people are deciding to do something to change thier lives, to get a headstart in the world, to find that challenge they haven't had in thier young lives. He wants out of his nowhere land with all his nowhere plans. He wants to see things clearly and find the group of people they feel like they fit into.

There a lot of choices today, as always. they can keep that nowhere job, paying nowhere wages, in a nowhere town (no matter how big or small the town), he can become a part of that nowhere gang, do drugs, etc..

But some choose the Corps as a guide post and stepping stone in thier adult career. Where they get that dicipline and honor and sense of commitment they so eagerly pursue. In this TOTAL VOLUNTEER MILITARY we have today, they have several choices there as well, but the Corps still has no problems filling our ranks with the cream of the crop, and will settle for nothing less!

Our brotherhood is unsurpassed by any other organization in the world! We have been around for over 232 years now and still strong. WE don't have to advertise "BE MARINE CORPS STRONG" everyone knows we are strong, the strongest!

So again at your age of 20, if you have made up YOUR mind, then what does it really matter what others think? Would they not be proud of you if you took a job that travels around the world, seeing exotic places and still defending our rights and freedoms, if it were possible without being a Marine? The odds of you Getting killed are no more than having, a fatal (or disabling) car accident today, with all the traffic and all, than it is surviving a tour in The War. Our men are better protected, better equiped and better motivated and better trained than I can ever remember in my lifetime.

If the Corps is what you have chosen, then make the announcement and go forward with your life. If evryone felt like Familes do, then where would our great nation be, still speaking the Queens Enlish maybe? Maybe the French would be speaking German today! My point is that every generation has it's war, and this one is your generations, mine was Viet Nam, remind them of that one!

Unlike MY WAR, all enlistments are 100% volunteer today. But if that fails, then the government will call all 18 year olds in for service! There are a lot of the 58,000 names on the wall of men that were drafted! Some were friends of mine! Ask you family and friends to pray to God that this WAR doesn't have a Wall with that many names on it when it is over. Oh and lest we forget 9-11?

This war will not end until the world is rid of the terrorist and anti american people of the word that's only goal is to kill americans! If not you then who?
If not now, then when? Do we want them over here fighting on our soil, killing our people in the streets like they are in Iraq?

I salute you, and young people like you, that choose to carry the torch into battle if need be to defend our shores! Hold your head up high and do what you have to do and follow your heart!

Good luck to you my young Warrior! Thanks for wanting to be apart of the elite! I know I am looking forward to calling you my brother one day.

That's my 2 cents, sorry it turned into a dollar!

Dave

[Marine84]

We ALL went through somebody telling us we were stupid, crazy as hell, and anything else they could come up with. My friends kept telling me that the Corps would make a man out of me - look at my profile - does that look like a man to anybody?

Your parents will eventually come around. The day you graduate will be their proudest day with you. Relax.

[JoeInVille]

Ive had similar things happen to me that LCpl. Green has had happen to her. People have called me crazy for even enlisting and sometimes even stupid for enlisting over going to College. My mom worked at a VA hospital during Vietnam so she definetly had some major opposition to it. I was in a very similar boat as you were but I didnt listen to anyone because I knew if I didnt enlist, I would regret it when im 28 and not doing anything or havent done anything to benefit my country or myself. Luckily my dad is as Gung-ho about the Marine Corps as you can get, so he supports me more than anything and is very proud of me already. Just like the Marines above me have said, your parents will eventually come around.

[Newski45]

In Quote and Reply to "gobuffs10" first post

"But you'll go to war..."
Heard that one before by my mom.
"You want to kill people?"
This one from my ex-girlfriend.
"Once you are in you are in..."
Mom again.
"My coworkers son is a Marine, she said it changed him."
Good ol' Mom yet again

My mom gave me all that crap and then said "I'm not trying to discourage you." Oh really? Sounds to me like that's EXACTLY what you are trying to do.
I know what you mean here, my mom said she's being supportive, but it seems like every time I talk to her she has nothing good to say about what I want to do. My favorite is when she told me that "It makes grown men cry." LMFAO, I already knew what I was getting myself into and I don't need to be reminded 24-7.

My best friend pretty much called me a retard for wanting to join.
Your friend is mad because he probably wishes he could join but is afraid to, or that you are going places and he is probably going to be stuck in the same town working some deadend job for the rest of his life, no offense or anything towards your friend.

[Big Jim]

In Quote and Reply to "gobuffs10" first post

"But you'll go to war..."
Heard that one before by my mom.
"You want to kill people?"
This one from my ex-girlfriend.
"Once you are in you are in..."
Mom again.
"My coworkers son is a Marine, she said it changed him."
Good ol' Mom yet again

My mom gave me all that crap and then said "I'm not trying to discourage you." Oh really? Sounds to me like that's EXACTLY what you are trying to do.
I know what you mean here, my mom said she's being supportive, but it seems like every time I talk to her she has nothing good to say about what I want to do. My favorite is when she told me that "It makes grown men cry." LMFAO, I already knew what I was getting myself into and I don't need to be reminded 24-7.

My best friend pretty much called me a retard for wanting to join.
Your friend is mad because he probably wishes he could join but is afraid to, or that you are going places and he is probably going to be stuck in the same town working some deadend job for the rest of his life, no offense or anything towards your friend.


I know that you think that your family and friends are coming down on you or enlisting...and maybe they are...but what does this tell you about what they think of you? It tells ME they don't believe in you very much...thats what I see anyway. You can't choose your family or your parents, so you're just going to have to deal with them like prove it to them or just ignore them, (which is probably what I'd do), but if your friends are calling you retard and crap like that...find new friends!!!

You have decided to make a committment that goes beyond yourself and shows the basjc integrity of yiour character!! the Marine Corps will refine that for you and bring it to its true maturity and make you a Marine!! IF you have the stuff!!! And when you do show them you have what it takes...watch your family and friends come running to you in an effort to show you their support! Sounds like they're unpatriotic to me. And its really demoralizing to think they won't support you while you're active duty. They need to show more support who gave them their freedoms and ability to have choice in their lives!!! But they are right about one thing...once you're in, you are in...you will have the support of an entire Corps of brothers and sisters!! No where in the world do you have a branch of service with the brotherhood and this level of comraderie! You have some choices and decisions to make!!

[AL49BGN]

I WAS LUCKY TO HAVE A FAMILY THAT SUPPORTED MY DECISION TO SERVE.HOWEVER IT DOES TAKE A SPECIAL TYPE OF PERSON WHO IS WILLING TO SACRIFICE A LIFESTYLE AND EVEN THEIR LIFE IN ORDER TO PROTECT THEIR COUNTRY AND LOVED ONES FROM THE DANGERS OUT THERE.THAT IS WHY THEY PROBABLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND AND WORRY ABOUT YOU.YOU JUST HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS RIGHT BECAUSE ULTIMATELY IT IS YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FUTURE.THE CORPS HAS A LOT TO OFFER IF YOU ARE WILLING TO PUT IN THE SWEAT AND SACRIFICE.GOOD LUCK!:usmc:

[ElDiablo]

At least your parents didn't offer to buy you an '08 Mustang if you wouldn't join. They suport me and everything, but they tried to pursuade me not to go. I said no, and that was that, they somewhat except it now. If they told me they had a 1969 Mustang GT 500 Fastback, maybe we could have talked...;)LOL!!!!!!!!!

[darkgreen0311]

I had friends telling me man you're crazy, you want make it the Marines are tough. My mother and father wanted me to go to college with the promise of a new car. I wanted to join when i was 17 my mother wouldn't sign for me so i had to wait until i was 18. If it's something you really want to do don't let anyone discourage you..........My brother Dav Blay well said sir and Marine 84 Hell no!!! You don't look nothing like a man.





:marine: :flag: SEMPER FI 4 LIFE
YOURS IS NOT TO QUESTION WHY BUT TO DO OR DIE!!!

[rvillac2]

Marine 84 Hell no!!! You don't look nothing like a man.



Drinks like one, though.

Kim, I was just at Anchorage last month, across the street from Elmendorf. ha ha ha.

[Newski45]

I know that you think that your family and friends are coming down on you or enlisting...and maybe they are...but what does this tell you about what they think of you? It tells ME they don't believe in you very much...thats what I see anyway. You can't choose your family or your parents, so you're just going to have to deal with them like prove it to them or just ignore them, (which is probably what I'd do), but if your friends are calling you retard and crap like that...find new friends!!!

You have decided to make a committment that goes beyond yourself and shows the basjc integrity of yiour character!! the Marine Corps will refine that for you and bring it to its true maturity and make you a Marine!! IF you have the stuff!!! And when you do show them you have what it takes...watch your family and friends come running to you in an effort to show you their support! Sounds like they're unpatriotic to me. And its really demoralizing to think they won't support you while you're active duty. They need to show more support who gave them their freedoms and ability to have choice in their lives!!! But they are right about one thing...once you're in, you are in...you will have the support of an entire Corps of brothers and sisters!! No where in the world do you have a branch of service with the brotherhood and this level of comraderie! You have some choices and decisions to make!!

For me my Dad is the most supportive, and I'm lucky to have friends that are fully supportive of me, and wish me all the luck. Big Jim is right and follow his advice.

[Echo_Four_Bravo]

In the end, it doesn't matter what your family thinks. My dad was furious, it wasn't a pretty thing. But, I did what I had to do. You do as well. There is no way you can really answer the people that don't "get it."

In the end, they are just worried about you. They don't want to see their baby boy put himself in danger. They watch the news and see all of the bad reports from Iraq and Afghanistan. They never hear about the good things that are being done and the progress that is being made. So it makes sense that they are scared. I'm sure there were mom's that didn't like their sons joining the Marines in 1775 and there will be moms that don't like it in 2775.

[Marine84]

Drinks like one, though.

Kim, I was just at Anchorage last month, across the street from Elmendorf. ha ha ha.

A shiver just ran through me....................

[CalahanD]

I had it too. My dad is about the only one who supports me. Step mom dont care and others think everybody in the military dies.

[Donut Brigade]

OK, you're 20, what do you care? Make your own damn decisions.

[McSweeney]

Did this happen to any of you? My family is trying to talk me out of enlisting. Nobody in my family has ever served before, minus grandfathers. Here's what they say
"But you'll go to war..."
"What if you don't come back?"
"You want to kill people?"
"Once you are in you are in..."
"Can you handle someone yelling at you ALL the time?"
"My coworkers son is a Marine, she said it changed him."
"They lied to him too, said he would be doing one job, then gave him a rifle and sent him to Iraq."
"The Marines and the Army are the first guys in...how about the Navy?" (that one made me laugh)
"You have other options, I think you need to consider them."

It just sucks. I explained my reasons for wanting to do it and my mom recognized them as all valid reasons, then continued to give me ****. They didn't really say anything at first, a few weeks ago when I mentioned it, but now that they know I'm serious things have changed. My dad hasn't said much, so I don't know where he stands. My mom gave me all that crap and then said "I'm not trying to discourage you." Oh really? Sounds to me like that's EXACTLY what you are trying to do. My sister told me I ruined her night and hasn't spoken to me since I told her I wanted to enlist. The only people who are behind me are my girlfriend (kindof, and it's only because she is encouraging and way too nice for her own good...if she told me what she really felt it would be much different) and two of my friends. My best friend pretty much called me a retard for wanting to join. Nobody thinks I am going to follow through, and it's just becoming more motivation to do this (not that I need any...I have made my decision).

I'm just disappointed. I really thought my mom and dad would be proud of me, proud to have a son that wanted to be a part of the best. My parents are both firm military and Iraq war supporters, so their disapproval really came as a shock and it dismayed me a little bit.

How did you all get over negative reactions? It hasn't swayed me one bit (ok...it did for like 20 minutes) but it is still hard, trying to undertake something like this while knowing those closest to me do not approve.

Meh. I get this a lot too but i don't care. i'm joining the worlds finest most bad ass fighting force in the world.

[Antwan2008]

Yeah most of my friends call me retarded for enlisting into the Marine Corps. They always say iam going to die and everything of that sort. All i hear is blah blah blah I don't give a **** about what they think. I just feel like it is my duty to protect my country! My family is very supportive of my decision and are very proud of my choice, especially my Grandfather which was in the Air Force during Vietnam. He is a very patriotic man.

[KevinR90]

I actually don't hear this kind of stuff a lot from my friends. They mostly just ask what it's going to be like, what i'm going to do. My Mom and Dad were just "Are you sure this is what you want to do?" I was lucky though, one of my brothers is in the Navy- is stationed in Naples right now- and my other brother is in college. Not to mention both my parents are Navy. So I never really had any opposition.

Though at some points I got some really negative "vibes" from my dad- seems like he doesn't trust the Marines that much, though he definately respects them.

[gobuffs10]

Thanks everyone...I really needed all that. This truly is the best community there is. Wish me luck in becoming one of you!! My decision is made, I'm sticking to it. Can't wait til I can sign my papers. Thanks so much for the support guys (and Kim), and it's good to know that many of you went through it too. Yeah you all are right, I'm 20, I make my own decisions, and I'm going to follow through on this one.

[KevinR90]

so what MOS are you trying to get?

[gobuffs10]

I think I want to do Rifleman, M1A1 crew, or Field Artillery crew. I just don't know enough about the last two...can anyone point me to some MOS info?

[futuremarine129]

I got this same problem, and my mother is telling me those SAME things. Except I have a cousin with PTSD from Iraq (Army if you were wondering) and she uses HIM as an example. "Do you want to end up like HIM?!?!" She says. It's hard explaining It's a price I'm willing to pay. So what I'm going to do is, when I turn 18 and enlist, not tell them until about a month before I leave. It is better this way.

[Echo_Four_Bravo]

No, being dishonest is never better. Have the integrity to stand behind your decision and be honest about it. "Easier" isn't "better".

[futuremarine129]

No, being dishonest is never better. Have the integrity to stand behind your decision and be honest about it. "Easier" isn't "better".
You're right. It is so hard for me though. I just get one attack after another everyday until I go to the tactic of just saying "yes" to everything my parents say. In a few days, I'm just going to flat out tell her.

[gobuffs10]

Good luck man I hope that all goes well. In the end it is your decision. Good luck

[PatriotGirl422]

When it all comes down to it, you have to do what you want to do. My family was very scared of me joining, and most people thought I was crazy and that I wouldn't make it (because I'm really little). What you have to remember though is that you'll be joining the biggest brotherhood in the world. Your mom's right "Once you're in, you're in", but that's a good thing. For the rest of your life, you'll always have someone who has your back. You'll have 200,000 brothers and sisters, not to mention all the veterans.

[darkgreen0311]

Man, you're twenty years old grab you're b***s and let them know you don't care about their comments your decision is your decision and you're sticking to it. I mean don't be disrespectful because they are your parents. If you listen to people and you let them pollute your mind and don't follow your heart. You're going to go through life second guessing yourself .........Saying i wonder if i could have made it as a Marine. I guarantee you there's not one Marine on here that has regretted being a Marine. The only regret that i have i wish i would have stayed in. My point is f**k what people have to say they talked about Jesus.



:marine: :flag: SEMPER FI 4 LIFE
YOURS IS NOT TO QUESTION WHY BUT TO DO OR DIE!!!

[Darrell B]

My family, well my mom and grandma both tried talking me out of it alongside my bestfriend. When it comes down to it just standby your decision, your family will always try to talk you out of it and eventually they will just accept that your joining the Corps.

Best of Luck,
-Poolee Brown

[FREED0M]

I'm going through the same thing now. My father supports me, but my mother is nearly hysterical. She actually told me that she hated me, and that really hurt... for about 20 minutes, now it just ****es me off.

Thanks for creating this thread gobuffs10, and thank you for all the replies. This has been a real help to me and I'm sure it will be a huge help too other poolees.

[Hologram]

I think I want to do Rifleman, M1A1 crew, or Field Artillery crew. I just don't know enough about the last two...can anyone point me to some MOS info?Sounds like someone wants an open grunt contract, as I heard a Marine call them around here.

It's not all that old, and I believe it was in the Ask a Marine forum. Go ahead and look it up if it answers your question.

[mikeab84]

All these people say these things b/c they care, and they think they are helping. It's up to you to show them how positive this new chapter of your life will be. Your manuerisms and behavior will dictate whether your mother spends sleepless nights wondering if her sons alive or not, or sleeps soundly knowing that her son is doing great things.

[TSULLI]

At the age of 20, you remind me of an old Beatles song:

"HE'S A REAL NOWHERE MAN
SITTING IN HIS NOWHERE LAND
MAKING ALL HIS NOWHERE PLANS
FOR NOBODY"!

"HE'S AS BLIND AS HE CAN BE
JUST SEES WHAT HE WANTS TO SEE,
ISN'T HE A BIT LIKE
YOU AND ME?"

Those words, to that song, were written more than 40 years ago!

It takes a certain knd of person to want to become a Marine, to give up the lifestyles of todays teenagers, but i am seeing it more ever day. Young people are deciding to do something to change thier lives, to get a headstart in the world, to find that challenge they haven't had in thier young lives. He wants out of his nowhere land with all his nowhere plans. He wants to see things clearly and find the group of people they feel like they fit into.

There a lot of choices today, as always. they can keep that nowhere job, paying nowhere wages, in a nowhere town (no matter how big or small the town), he can become a part of that nowhere gang, do drugs, etc..

But some choose the Corps as a guide post and stepping stone in thier adult career. Where they get that dicipline and honor and sense of commitment they so eagerly pursue. In this TOTAL VOLUNTEER MILITARY we have today, they have several choices there as well, but the Corps still has no problems filling our ranks with the cream of the crop, and will settle for nothing less!

Our brotherhood is unsurpassed by any other organization in the world! We have been around for over 232 years now and still strong. WE don't have to advertise "BE MARINE CORPS STRONG" everyone knows we are strong, the strongest!

So again at your age of 20, if you have made up YOUR mind, then what does it really matter what others think? Would they not be proud of you if you took a job that travels around the world, seeing exotic places and still defending our rights and freedoms, if it were possible without being a Marine? The odds of you Getting killed are no more than having, a fatal (or disabling) car accident today, with all the traffic and all, than it is surviving a tour in The War. Our men are better protected, better equiped and better motivated and better trained than I can ever remember in my lifetime.

If the Corps is what you have chosen, then make the announcement and go forward with your life. If evryone felt like Familes do, then where would our great nation be, still speaking the Queens Enlish maybe? Maybe the French would be speaking German today! My point is that every generation has it's war, and this one is your generations, mine was Viet Nam, remind them of that one!

Unlike MY WAR, all enlistments are 100% volunteer today. But if that fails, then the government will call all 18 year olds in for service! There are a lot of the 58,000 names on the wall of men that were drafted! Some were friends of mine! Ask you family and friends to pray to God that this WAR doesn't have a Wall with that many names on it when it is over. Oh and lest we forget 9-11?

This war will not end until the world is rid of the terrorist and anti american people of the word that's only goal is to kill americans! If not you then who?
If not now, then when? Do we want them over here fighting on our soil, killing our people in the streets like they are in Iraq?

I salute you, and young people like you, that choose to carry the torch into battle if need be to defend our shores! Hold your head up high and do what you have to do and follow your heart!

Good luck to you my young Warrior! Thanks for wanting to be apart of the elite! I know I am looking forward to calling you my brother one day.

That's my 2 cents, sorry it turned into a dollar!

Dave

Cpl Blaylock... Thank you for sharing your $1.02. What you have said in this post hit me hard. I just wish my family thought the same way about me enlisting. Thank you again.

[gobuffs10]

I'm going through the same thing now. My father supports me, but my mother is nearly hysterical. She actually told me that she hated me, and that really hurt... for about 20 minutes, now it just ****es me off.

Thanks for creating this thread gobuffs10, and thank you for all the replies. This has been a real help to me and I'm sure it will be a huge help too other poolees.

Hey no problem, good luck. I took my parents to meet the Sgt., and it was the best thing I could have done. They're both very excited for me to begin this chapter of my life. Once they met the recruiters, saw they were normal, young guys, funny, polite, not these big, scary, murderous Marines recruiting their son to get blown up, they were excited. Got all the questions they had answered. Now they are just all over me about a job. "Don't be a grunt! Do data systems! Do intel!"

I have actually been getting nervous lately, freaking out, watching Ears, Open a lot, and my mom sat me down today and said, "Look, if you don't want to do this, that's fine. But I think it's going to be very good for you, the military has a lot to offer people. I don't want you doing infantry but if you get hurt, you must know it was in defense of your country, and that people like the Marines are necessary so that we all may be protected."

That was pretty motivating, my mom has never said anything like that before. It's funny now that I'm nervous and not her, but she isn't the one who has to go to boot! The only thing that really bothers me is I am having nightmares about IEDs, and I'm not even a Marine yet. Oh well.

Your parents will come around man. Mom just doesn't understand why you want to leave the nest that she created for you and go away to get yelled at and become a warrior. She will understand, and I know everyone has said they will come around, it takes time, but it's true.