An Honest Reply is Appreciated...

[TwosBlind]

This is hard for me to write about even as an anonymous person on a public form, and near to impossible for me to talk about in person, but here goes...

Im having some self-confidence issues right now. Some pretty major ones. My OST recruiters dont know it, and probably cannot see it because I do a very good job hiding it. They seem to think Im a good condidate for OCS, probably because I come off as very confident in myself and I look to be in very good physical shape. In fact most people i know and meet would never think of me as lacking in confidence. But they dont know that right now im struggling with some serious confidence issues having to do with my "mental ability" if you will. Im not going to get into it and waste everyones time, so ill just get to my question....Ive wanted to go either NAVY of Marine Corps aviation track since I was a little guy. But since ive began doubting myself I want the Marine Corps more than ever. I dont want pills, i dont want a psychiatric counseling or some ****...i want to kick my ass into finding my old self, i want to accomplish something amazing, be a part of the elite, and in the process pack up all my anxiety and self doubt ive got and fire it straight to the freaking moon. I know that *being* a marine will do this for me. Getting through OCS, TBS, flight school etc would be the most inspiring and confidence building thing I could do for myself. The thing is, I am afraid the DIs will see right through me when im there. I do a real good job of coming off as someone with no self doubt in everyday life, but going through OCS will be a whole different ball game. Im afriad that the DIs will see this and attrite me for it, or for some other reason that may stem from my initial lack of confidence in OCS ( I say initial because im sure after being there for a while and having success I would begin to beleive in myself again). What do you marines who have been there say? Anyone feel me out on this? Can I use OCS to not only show that I can be an officer and leader of Marines but also as a way to make myself into a better more confident individual...to find myself? Or is this not what OCS is about...I feel like OCS is about finding leaders, and weeding out the people who dont already have it.


Thanks Fellas

Cliff Notes - can someone lacking self confidence make it through OCS and TBS if they want it bad enough? Will OCS and TBS build the confidence they lack?

[SlingerDun]

Confidence is not an all encompassing blanket characteristic, fella.

The experienced person brags about how they can accomplish a task or mission while sleeping, and damn near could! Unless its a task they are unfamiliar with then they sull up and confidence is lost or shaken. Its normal.

Your scared of being a Marine Officer, what a surprise! You dont know shiat about that demanding job and lifestyle. You have no reason to be confident and plenty to be nervous about.

--->Dave

[Echo_Four_Bravo]

Could you make it through? Probably.

Will it give you confidence? Maybe.

If you're just a little apprehensive, that is understandable. I'd be scared to death knowing that after going through OCS and TBS I could be leading battle hardened men into combat as an infantry officer. It is a mind numbing thought.

It just matters who you are. You know down deep that you either have what it takes or you don't. Be honest with yourself and you'll find your answer.

[thewookie]

Nope, I think when you're done with all those lofty goals that you have that you're going to be just as sad as you are now. ;)

Seriously, do you think warriors are born or they are made? I say both, so that means that the Corps has to make you a warrior.

You'll be OK, when they are done with you.

[TwosBlind]

You'll be OK, when they are done with you.

This is exactly what i want to hear. But how much will the DIs work with you in OCS to see that you find this sense of confidence and leadership before they attrite you? I mean all these guys i see being selected for OCS and those that just finished it...super Type A type guys...not unlike myself...minus so much self doubt, negative thinking, and anxiety (Or so they appear, but I also appear that way i guess). All i want to do is beat this, but if OCS beats me instead, and i get attrited becasue I, say, failed to show enough leadership or whatever, its gonna f*ck with me for a long time and not make things any better. With boot as an enlisted you can get through with sheer will alone. Fly under the radar if need be and make it through and accomplish what you set out to do. Not so in OCS.



Thanks for the replies fellas

[thewookie]

I think you need a shrink, someone with a license would be preferred.

Anyone out there help him?

[TwosBlind]

I think you need a shrink, someone with a license would be preferred.

Anyone out there help him?


Nope. DQ from aviation and who knows what else. I will beat this on my own. Like i said this isnt the real me...ive gone through some recent **** that has left me lacking in the area of self confidence. Just trying to find my way.

[Isrowei]

Buck up. If you want it, do it. If you fail, but you gave it your best shot, then walk away with your head high. If you fail because you half-assed it... it's your own fault.

It's natural that everyone experiences a little anxiety before something big and demanding. The difference is that some people let the anxiety stop them... and the others continue to march.

If you literally have that much fear about going to OCS and the DIs there... there's a job waiting for you at McDonald's. We don't need or want tough guy acts. They don't cut it when the **** really hits the fan. We need people who have ability to work with people, learn and grow as leaders and as Marines.

And yes, the DIs will harass the hell out of you for any percieved weakness because it's their job. It's your job to press on in spite of it.

[SlingerDun]

Quote: <br />
Originally Posted by testforecho2112 <br />
I crushed two discs in my back while in Bosnia in a HMMWV. The AF was in charge of the PEB's back then and they flagged my a$$ for immediate medical...

[ammermda]

I'll give you my $.02 since OCS wasn't that long ago for me...

As the 1stLt told you, "We don't need or want tough guy acts. They don't cut it when the **** really hits the fan. We need people who have ability to work with people, learn and grow as leaders and as Marines."

This does NOT mean that all Marine officers are types A personalities, or never doubt themselves. Personally, I don't brag about the things I can do, and I am also up front about the things I cannot do, and do not know. I feel this is in keeping with one of our leadership traits, 'know yourself and seek improvement.' And as a 2ndLt, you will have plenty of cause to doubt yourself. The key is: how does it effect you and your relationship with others.

OCS tests just this. At OCS, probably more than any other time in your military career, it matters only HOW you attempt a mission. You can actually fail your mission, but if you bring your fire team/squad/platoon together, lay out a plan, and give it 100%, that seems to be what matters at OCS.

TBS is more difficult than OCS, and TBS is really where you will get to 'experiment' with leadership styles. For me, observing the effects of some styles on mission completion affirmed my basic leadership beliefs. But I am still learning and adjusting my style out in the fleet.

But bottom line: if you're looking for an experience that will give you confidence, earning a commission in the Marine Corps may not be the way to go. Sure, you will be proud of what you accomplished, but there is a LOT that comes with being a Marine officer. You owe it to all the enlisted Marines to pursue a commission for the right reasons.

Again, just $.02 from a 2ndLt.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

I think the Lt's are on the mark here. Pay attention to them, they've BTDT.