thedrifter
03-23-08, 08:28 AM
Parents of Marines help other families
By Dudley Brown
Published: Sunday, March 23, 2008
Wade and Sheila Seay hold photographs of their sons, Phillip and Joshua. Both are serving as full-time Marines.
Sheila and Wade Seay have learned more than military lingo since their sons became Marines. They understand that the entire family's life is changing.
Phillip, 24, and Joshua, 19, became Marines right after high school and both have been to Iraq.
The Seays have spent time talking to other military families and veterans to learn what to expect. Now, they give advice to other parents.
"Sometimes as a military family you feel alienated from your regular family," said Sheila Seay, president of the local Blue Star Mothers chapter. "It's not that they mean to or you want to."
A variety of community agencies are hosting "Caring for Our Veterans" from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday at the Evans Auditorium, 142 N. Dean St. The event is intended to be a one-stop location for veterans and their families to get information ranging from accessing veterans benefits and providing financial advice to helping veterans and their families adjust to them being home.
"We mainly want to make the community aware of the fact that there are veterans coming home, and they and their families will need help," said Trez Clarke, program director at the P.A.C.E. Center, a non-profit organization that offers mental-wellness services.
Terry O'Connor, reintegration officer for the South Carolina National Guard, also will attend. O'Connor said the transition to home is often harder for the National Guard members because they aren't returning to bases surrounded by other soldiers. They return to jobs with regular civilians, who might not understand the military.
O'Connor said his focus is helping communities across the state help soldiers make healthy and easy transitions into communities.
Sheila Seay said she often wonders how young people, like her sons, will find jobs when they return home. They'll also have to adjust to friends moving away or having their own families.
"They have to start all over being adults in the town they grew up in," Sheila Seay said.
Phillip is a sergeant stationed in Okinawa, and Joshua is a lance corporal at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina.
The Seays have been told to pay attention to their sons' spending habits, because overspending could be a sign of them trying to cope with stress. A friend also prepared them for mood swings their sons might experience.
"Sometimes they're snippy and real angry and can't explain why and the next minute they're happy," Sheila Seay said.
Clarke said there is a lot of talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it's a serious issue that needs addressing, but he is concerned about how some veterans are automatically being labeled by the public as having PTSD.
Clarke recommends that families be patient with veterans if they seem moody.
"They can't take it personally," Clarke said.
"It's nothing they have against a family member. Give them their own space and realize this is going to be a huge adjustment."
Wade Seay said last holiday season was difficult because it was the first time they didn't have either of their sons home.
"Holidays are the hardest time," Wade Seay said. "Most parents our age have kids in college coming home or bringing grandkids."
Wade and Sheila Seay decided to visit Tennessee for the holidays instead of spending time with their extended family. They knew it would be difficult seeing nieces and nephews who are the same age as their kids. Both said the Blue Star Mothers has been a good way to meet other parents experiencing what they're going through.
They know the family will continue adjusting and hope others will take advantage of Tuesday's event.
"You assume they get off the bus and it's all behind them, but it's not," Sheila Seay said.
Ellie
By Dudley Brown
Published: Sunday, March 23, 2008
Wade and Sheila Seay hold photographs of their sons, Phillip and Joshua. Both are serving as full-time Marines.
Sheila and Wade Seay have learned more than military lingo since their sons became Marines. They understand that the entire family's life is changing.
Phillip, 24, and Joshua, 19, became Marines right after high school and both have been to Iraq.
The Seays have spent time talking to other military families and veterans to learn what to expect. Now, they give advice to other parents.
"Sometimes as a military family you feel alienated from your regular family," said Sheila Seay, president of the local Blue Star Mothers chapter. "It's not that they mean to or you want to."
A variety of community agencies are hosting "Caring for Our Veterans" from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Tuesday at the Evans Auditorium, 142 N. Dean St. The event is intended to be a one-stop location for veterans and their families to get information ranging from accessing veterans benefits and providing financial advice to helping veterans and their families adjust to them being home.
"We mainly want to make the community aware of the fact that there are veterans coming home, and they and their families will need help," said Trez Clarke, program director at the P.A.C.E. Center, a non-profit organization that offers mental-wellness services.
Terry O'Connor, reintegration officer for the South Carolina National Guard, also will attend. O'Connor said the transition to home is often harder for the National Guard members because they aren't returning to bases surrounded by other soldiers. They return to jobs with regular civilians, who might not understand the military.
O'Connor said his focus is helping communities across the state help soldiers make healthy and easy transitions into communities.
Sheila Seay said she often wonders how young people, like her sons, will find jobs when they return home. They'll also have to adjust to friends moving away or having their own families.
"They have to start all over being adults in the town they grew up in," Sheila Seay said.
Phillip is a sergeant stationed in Okinawa, and Joshua is a lance corporal at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina.
The Seays have been told to pay attention to their sons' spending habits, because overspending could be a sign of them trying to cope with stress. A friend also prepared them for mood swings their sons might experience.
"Sometimes they're snippy and real angry and can't explain why and the next minute they're happy," Sheila Seay said.
Clarke said there is a lot of talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and it's a serious issue that needs addressing, but he is concerned about how some veterans are automatically being labeled by the public as having PTSD.
Clarke recommends that families be patient with veterans if they seem moody.
"They can't take it personally," Clarke said.
"It's nothing they have against a family member. Give them their own space and realize this is going to be a huge adjustment."
Wade Seay said last holiday season was difficult because it was the first time they didn't have either of their sons home.
"Holidays are the hardest time," Wade Seay said. "Most parents our age have kids in college coming home or bringing grandkids."
Wade and Sheila Seay decided to visit Tennessee for the holidays instead of spending time with their extended family. They knew it would be difficult seeing nieces and nephews who are the same age as their kids. Both said the Blue Star Mothers has been a good way to meet other parents experiencing what they're going through.
They know the family will continue adjusting and hope others will take advantage of Tuesday's event.
"You assume they get off the bus and it's all behind them, but it's not," Sheila Seay said.
Ellie