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thedrifter
09-24-07, 02:18 PM
September 24, 2007

Lori Borgman
Military parents have right to be proud
September 24, 2007

So I am chatting with a man and ask if what I hear is true, that his son has joined the military.

"Yes," he says. "He's a Marine."

"Congratulations," I say. "You must be very proud."

We chat a bit longer, not much, and ready to say goodbye, when he says, "You know, you just said something very interesting."

"What's that?" I ask.

"About my son," he says. "You said, 'Congratulations, you must be very proud.' You did say that, didn't you?"

"Of course," I say.

"When most people ask about my son and I tell them he joined the Marines, that's not what they say."

"What do they say?" I ask.

"They say, 'Oh, I'm so sorry.' " Silence.

What an odd lot we are.

If someone said a son or daughter had joined law enforcement, we wouldn't say, "I'm so sorry." We wouldn't offer sympathies to someone whose adult child was training to become a firefighter.

We have a volunteer military. Men and women choose to serve, deliberately and intentionally. That young man set his jaw and chose a path that took him through 13 grueling weeks of boot camp.

Through discipline, will and prowess, he developed strength and agility, learned to handle weapons, practiced marksmanship, mastered combat skills and passed the Crucible, a 54-hour exercise that tests physical and mental strength. He earned the right to be called a Marine.


And what was it I did today?

The father of the Marine is gracious. He cuts those offering their sympathies on his son's achievements a lot of slack. "I think it's more of a reaction than a thought," he muses.

He's probably right. Perhaps what they mean is that they are sorry for the anguish the family may go through when their son is 10,000 miles from home, sorry that he will be in harm's way. Still, sympathy is an odd foot to put forward when someone has made a selfless choice requiring courage and fortitude.

Not long ago, I happened upon a sermon preached by a Jacob Cushing at Lexington, Mass., on April 20, 1778, commemorating the anniversary of the Battle of Lexington.
Cushing addressed a congregation in time of war. Toward the end of his remarks, he singled out the soldiers and said, "Cultivate, my friends, a martial spirit, strive to excel in the art of war, that you may be qualified to act the part of soldiers well; and under providence, be helpful in vanquishing and subduing the enemies of God and this people, and be numbered among those who shall be worthy to wear the laurels of victory and triumph."

A far cry from "I'm sorry."

Shame on us, no matter what our stance on the war, if we should withhold even an ounce of encouragement or a single prayer from the men and women working to secure liberty and freedom, and make safety an everyday expectation.

A common thread is woven throughout every branch of the military. It is the thought -- or the creed, rather -- that failure is not an option.

Saying "I'm sorry" should not be an option either.

Ellie

1776dad
09-24-07, 04:40 PM
Lori Borgman has put into words what many of us "Marine parents" experience everyday. I make a point to be gracious to the "I'm sorry" or the "don't you worry about him going to Iraq?" that tumble out of the mouth of many. In private, afterwards... in my thoughts,I am less forgiving. I learn very quickly who takes this country for granted... and who doesn't. And I have distanced myself from one friend as a result of his "I'm sorry" (can't help it, I was and still am, insulted). My Marine son is an inspiration to me and a source of enormous pride. And sometimes even a source of personal shame because he has already given more of himself to this country than I ever have. Where did this Marine of mine come from? What have I ever done to match his love of country? My reserve service is not even worthy of mention. Do I feel proud when someone congratulates me on him? Yes I do. I offered my son private college paid by Dad and he chose the Marines. Yet from time to time I do receive that "congratulations on your Marine son". Its a very sweet comment to hear and its almost always comes from a Marine.

Elle
09-28-07, 02:39 PM
I have two sons in the service now and I have always been proud of them. They were good children, good teenagers and are good men. One joined the Air Force after a year of college at St. Louis University, (he could have completed college with it being completely paid for, but he chose to serve), the other joined the Marines right out of high school and is currently at MCRD San Diego (he is scheduled to start the Crucible next week).

When my mother and sister both decried their choice to serve their country and asked me if I was upset with them, I was surprised. I replied, if they were staying out all night drinking, doing drugs and spending their days lying around on the couch, I would be upset. They are choosing to serve their country and I AM PROUD!

2PW
10-14-07, 08:03 PM
thought that I would share with you what I am having to deal with. I am so angry about this email from a colleague of mine. This was some time back when my daughter was still in basic. After a long day of soaring I approached him offering help to put away his glider. Starting with small chitchat, knowing he was very liberal I was very reluctant to tell, but told him that my daughter was at boot camp. Big mistake. Well, He started on his rant about, Bush stole the election, Bush lied about the war, Bush chickenhawk, Halliburton, oil, exc...
I finally stopped him and said that I will not engage in a political discussion knowing that it was pointless and walked away.


He wrote,
I really want to apologize if I said anything to offend you the other day. I love Warner Springs because it is so peaceful and laid back and away from "the real world". Something triggered me to start talking politics in a place where I shouldn't have.
Please be very clear, I really respect your daughter for her service and support you as her father. I will have her in my thoughts constantly. I read the LA Times obits every Sunday of the young soldiers and it is heart breaking. So many Americans are 'chickenhawks' ( for the war but not willing to go or let their family members serve). Your family is walking the walk. I respect that.
What troubles me is that young people can be so idealistic and pure in their desire to be part of something bigger, and sacrifice, but this administration cares nothing about them. This administration does not deserve to have fine young people joining up for this cause, especially when they are now playing politics and waiting until September to say what we know now and knew several years ago.
GO

This email is so disrespectful in so many ways to me and our men and women serving
This just breaks my heart now as a Proud American and a Proud dad of a Marine To have to deal with this division that has been created by our own media and politicians, I believe for political power. I just have to have faith that Good will prevail. I have noticed those that complain the most offer the least.
I will not walk way from this kind of talk anymore, I will confront the "I'm sorry crowd" from now on. I will not dishonor my daughter.

Thanks for listening

MIKECHRY
10-14-07, 09:40 PM
God Bless America And The United States Marine Corps

2PW
10-19-07, 01:12 AM
I know many of you get frustrated and upset with the 'I'm sorry' and 'why are we in iraq crowd' send them this link May not help but its worth the try
http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/wmdquotes.asp

I used to think it was the marijuana till I saw
what people where watching on tv news

003XXMarineDAD
10-20-07, 07:56 PM
We are proud of our son for having more guts and bigger balls then many of the one protesting because he does it so they can feel sorry.

LeonardLawrence
10-20-07, 08:25 PM
2PW, 03xxDad and all....

Much respect goes out to you who are making a sacrifice by dealing with both the ignorant and insensitive comments of those who are part of an ungrateful nation and dealing with the stress of being a miltary family.

I hope you keep in your hearts and minds the fact that your sons and daughters are doing the work of Patriots that will be exalted by your grandchildren and theirs.... and we are all safer for it. There are those of us out there that care...and remember.

I would have been content to see the email that 2PW received simply say
"I am sorry. Your family is walking the walk. I respect that". Good on you and to everyone who is keeping up the good fight!

TMann
10-31-07, 11:10 PM
I have been there as well. I have twin sons who are new Marines (PI, May and August of this year). Proud does not begin to describe how my wife and I feel about their having earned the title United States Marine. What I did observe was that when they were home for their 10 leave, the questioning of why they did what they did ended. How they presented themselves answered any question on their decision to serve. Perhaps it was the steely stare that ended the topic.

gwladgarwr
11-01-07, 12:10 AM
Lori Borgman has put into words what many of us "Marine parents" experience everyday. I make a point to be gracious to the "I'm sorry" or the "don't you worry about him going to Iraq?" that tumble out of the mouth of many. In private, afterwards... in my thoughts,I am less forgiving. I learn very quickly who takes this country for granted... and who doesn't. And I have distanced myself from one friend as a result of his "I'm sorry" (can't help it, I was and still am, insulted). My Marine son is an inspiration to me and a source of enormous pride. And sometimes even a source of personal shame because he has already given more of himself to this country than I ever have. Where did this Marine of mine come from? What have I ever done to match his love of country? My reserve service is not even worthy of mention. Do I feel proud when someone congratulates me on him? Yes I do. I offered my son private college paid by Dad and he chose the Marines. Yet from time to time I do receive that "congratulations on your Marine son". Its a very sweet comment to hear and its almost always comes from a Marine.

Please do not ever say that your reserve service is not worthy of mention. Do not discount your own service in comparison to your son's service. You served, end of story. If you want to qualify your service by saying it was "just the reserves", you do yourself a great disservice.

By the way, the majority of the six divisions of Chinese heathens that crossed the Yalu were "reserves". Of course, being they were heathen Communists, McCarthur took care of them, but I digress.

As a reserve Marine myself, I know I wasn't no slouch. Still a reservist, btw. I got the "you're just a reservist" from a c*** at the DMV when I asked for (and rightfully rate) the Marine vanity plate, so when I raised hell in front of God and everybody and demanded her supervisor when she said no, he hid in his office and wouldn't deal with me. I got my plate and gave her another earful before I left. I got the same "oh, just a reservist" from some old-timer from the Air Force who had been active duty but never "left the States". I saw more action and more of the world as "just a reservist" then he had in four years of active-duty pencil-pushing at Andrews.

I deployed a month later, not that that matters.

All I know is, when I was in Iraq - especially when I was in Iraq - I couldn't tell who was AD and who was reserve. And I didn't give a damn. Come to think of it, I can't tell when I'm at home. For a whole year, I thought my new first sergeant was AD - he was a reservist just like me. (He had years of active duty, but switched to reserves before he got to my unit.)

You can hold your head up high knowing that you served - in any capacity. (Not saying reserves are lesser than active at all, and they're certainly not.) Your kid went on to do something because you set a good example - an example of service to someone other than himself (or herself.)

You have to remember the contribution of citizen-warriors: in times of peace, they tilled the ground. When the horns of war were sounded, they put down their hoes and picked up their swords. This "reserve" tradition has been the norm more so than the "exception", even with a history of professional, full-time Roman, Greek, Mongol, and Persian "armies".

Don't feel down when someone tells you "I'm sorry" when you mention that your kid(s) joined the military. A good reply would be "I'm sorry you or your own kids don't have enough backbone to do the same." (Sorta like saying "my kid beat up your honor kid", but worth a lot more.)

S/F,

Sgt gw:flag:

2PW
11-11-07, 11:35 PM
Today has been a very humbling experience for me, Being Veterans Day, now with my Daughter stationed in Washington DC. I have a hole new understanding
I want to personally thank all of you for your service to our country and that includes you1776dad. Also thank the Drifter for all the hard work as moderator and posting all the info news etc...It seems that your Patience is tryed at times. I have a picture in my mind of you dragging these young kids by the ear down to the recruit office.
Leatherneck form does evoke many emotions from laughter to crying, happiness to sad and yes, Anger, most of all the sense of hope and pride. You are what gives me the strength to fight my own battles. It seams to me that we have a war going on in our own country and our media and politicians don't even know about it. I guess I'm at a loss of words on that one.

I want to share a wanderfull thing that happend today. I forwarded a couple of posts to a dear friend of mine,
An open letter of thanks to Veterans and Today I met the Finest.
From that he wrote this letter to his dad

Dad,

Sorry for being so "slow", as I sometimes am, but today I just
realized for the first time that you are one of our honored Veterans.

Even though I always knew you served in the Air Force, it never really

hit home until today, when a friend of mine who's daughter recently
joined the Marines, sent me some emails regarding Veterans day.
Knowing what he is going through as a father, with his daughter
serving, reminded me of you.

Then I thought of what it must have been like for your father when you

joined. I think he probably had a mixture of pride and concern when
you joined, as does my friend. There were probably many other
emotions and complexities surrounding his thoughts, that I will never
know or understand.

I know that to me, you never made much of your service. You told me
of a few stories like meeting Mom, or playing piano with Ace Hardy,
but not much else. I wanted to let you know that as an adult, and
knowing how large organizations work, that even though you might not
make much of what you did, it was needed to help the entire armed
services be what it is. As a pilot, I can tell you how important it
was to the pilots who's planes you took care of. Both of us being
fathers now, understand that it is the constant little actions that
add up over time, that are just as important as a single heroic deed.

To me, the little actions are even more important, and they usually go

unpraised.

So, I just wanted to thank you for all that you have done. I normally

try to honor you as a father, everyday of my life. But on Veterans
day, I will try to honor you as a soldier, that sacrificed for what
was required to restore good to the world. Thanks from me, and my
family, who live the way we do, because of what you helped to do.

Love,
Chuck

jrhd97
11-12-07, 03:31 PM
I want to thank all of you parents who did such a fine job of bringing up your children, that they would value and be willing to serve. THANK YOU! I know you are proud of them, we all are too. I lead a Royal Ranger outpost at our church, and one of the things the boys do is to pray for all of our men and women in uniform and there families. Thank you for supporting them the way you do. That is the most important thing to them, knowing you stand behind them.
Again Thank you.