thedrifter
09-18-07, 09:07 AM
Father turns grief over son's death in Iraq to advocacy for war
By REBECCA SANTANA
Associated Press Writer
JEFFERSON TOWNSHIP, N.J.
It's been more than two years since the military officers showed up at John Wroblewski's house, their mere presence at his doorstep conveying the horrible news that his eldest son had died in Iraq.
Since that day, Wroblewski has taken a long journey that has included a trip to Iraq to see where his son died, and he's become an outspoken proponent of the war.
"It makes me feel that I'm doing something for my son, for what he did," said Wroblewski, sitting on the deck outside his Morris County home next to his wife, Shawn. "When your son or daughter puts on that uniform, you put on that uniform."
The Wroblewskis' son, John Thomas Wroblewski or "J.T." as the family called him, was killed April 6, 2004 in Ramadi, when he and the troops he was with were ambushed. The second lieutenant in the Marines was shot in the head, the bullet piercing the radio he was using to call for help and ripping through the strong, square jaw his mother had always admired.
His father, the athletic director at Palisades Park High School, first got word through his daughter-in-law that his son had been seriously injured.
A frantic day followed where the family tried to figure out how to get to Germany, where injured troops are taken. Then, at 8:30 p.m., came a knock on the door.
"I answered the door, and I saw two uniformed officers," Wroblewski recalled. "I just said, 'No, no, not my J.T.' They just said 'Can we come in? Is this the Wroblewski residence?' And I just kept saying 'No, not my J.T. Please no."'
The 25-year-old joined the Marines after the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, telling his father that there was nothing more honorable than serving one's country. He didn't come from a military family, but the Wroblewskis said it was obvious their son had found his calling. Every week, without fail, he had his hair shaved into the distinctive "high and tight" the Marines are known for, and spoke of the men in his unit as brothers.
Part of the reason the elder Wroblewski became so outspoken on the war was because he felt that reflected the views of his son, who often told him that President Bush was doing the right thing.
Since his son's death, the 53-year-old has become more outspoken, often calling in to television or radio talk shows to talk about the war.
The Wroblewskis work with a number of different groups supporting the war, and in a September television ad aired by the organization Freedom's Watch in support of the war, John Wroblewski calls on Congress to support the troops. Shawn Wroblewski regularly calls family members of troops killed in Iraq to offer support, and the couple has met with the president three times.
When John Wroblewski watches television, he takes notes for future reference and always makes sure he's keeping up with the latest news, such as Gen. David Petraeus' report to Congress this week.
John Wroblewski said he's under no illusions that everything is going perfectly, but said the United States is making progress _ pointing to a more peaceful Anbar province where his son was killed.
He firmly believes the United States went into Iraq for the right reasons, and needs to stick it out to establish a free country there.
It was through his advocacy that John Wroblewski made the connections that ultimately led him to Iraq in January. In August 2005, when anti-war proponents set up camp near President Bush's Crawford, Texas home, the Wroblewskis traveled there to show their support for the war.
The Wroblewskis ended up carpooling to Crawford with Gainesville, Ga.-based radio host Martha Zoller. The two stayed in touch. Eventually Zoller, who was planning her second trip to Iraq and working with now-retired Army Lt. Col. Robert Quinn, was able to take John Wroblewski with her.
John Wroblewski didn't make it to Ramadi, but he did make it to the hospital in Baghdad where his son died, and was able to better understand the place where his son spent his last weeks alive.
Quinn, another New Jerseyan who graduated from St. Joseph High School in Metuchen, said while the trip helped John Wroblewski deal with his grief, it also helped the troops there.
"Even with his loss, he went up to talk to soldiers," Quinn said. "The way that he talked to kids, put his arms around them ... He was that type of dad."
Being such a strong supporter of the war leads to inevitable comparisons with outspoken war critic Cindy Sheehan, whose son, Casey, was killed in Baghdad two days before Wroblewskis' son was killed. John Wroblewski said Cindy Sheehan has the right to her own opinion against the war, but says her views are not shared by every parent who lost a child in Iraq.
Wroblewski's constant attention to the war helps him deal with his loss, according to Michael Wroblewski, the oldest of the couple's remaining children.
"Does he obsess over it? I think so. But that's his way of staying in touch with my brother," said the 27-year-old Wroblewski. "People deal with death in different ways."
Advocacy, either for or against the war, often can be a healthy way of dealing with the death of a child, said Todd DuBose, an assistant professor of psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, who has worked with family members of dead troops.
"The tragedy itself is profound for either side, and one way to survive it is to try to make some sense out of it, so people will reach for ideologies," DuBose said.
For Wroblewski, a father of four, the war will always be personal. He bristles when he hears criticism of the mission or the troops, taking it as a criticism of his son.
"I really feel deep down inside that we are doing the right thing," he said. "We as Americans have to have the intestinal fortitude to get this job done."
__
On the Net:
To read remembrances about 2nd Lt. John T. Wroblewski: www.legacy.com
Ellie
By REBECCA SANTANA
Associated Press Writer
JEFFERSON TOWNSHIP, N.J.
It's been more than two years since the military officers showed up at John Wroblewski's house, their mere presence at his doorstep conveying the horrible news that his eldest son had died in Iraq.
Since that day, Wroblewski has taken a long journey that has included a trip to Iraq to see where his son died, and he's become an outspoken proponent of the war.
"It makes me feel that I'm doing something for my son, for what he did," said Wroblewski, sitting on the deck outside his Morris County home next to his wife, Shawn. "When your son or daughter puts on that uniform, you put on that uniform."
The Wroblewskis' son, John Thomas Wroblewski or "J.T." as the family called him, was killed April 6, 2004 in Ramadi, when he and the troops he was with were ambushed. The second lieutenant in the Marines was shot in the head, the bullet piercing the radio he was using to call for help and ripping through the strong, square jaw his mother had always admired.
His father, the athletic director at Palisades Park High School, first got word through his daughter-in-law that his son had been seriously injured.
A frantic day followed where the family tried to figure out how to get to Germany, where injured troops are taken. Then, at 8:30 p.m., came a knock on the door.
"I answered the door, and I saw two uniformed officers," Wroblewski recalled. "I just said, 'No, no, not my J.T.' They just said 'Can we come in? Is this the Wroblewski residence?' And I just kept saying 'No, not my J.T. Please no."'
The 25-year-old joined the Marines after the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, telling his father that there was nothing more honorable than serving one's country. He didn't come from a military family, but the Wroblewskis said it was obvious their son had found his calling. Every week, without fail, he had his hair shaved into the distinctive "high and tight" the Marines are known for, and spoke of the men in his unit as brothers.
Part of the reason the elder Wroblewski became so outspoken on the war was because he felt that reflected the views of his son, who often told him that President Bush was doing the right thing.
Since his son's death, the 53-year-old has become more outspoken, often calling in to television or radio talk shows to talk about the war.
The Wroblewskis work with a number of different groups supporting the war, and in a September television ad aired by the organization Freedom's Watch in support of the war, John Wroblewski calls on Congress to support the troops. Shawn Wroblewski regularly calls family members of troops killed in Iraq to offer support, and the couple has met with the president three times.
When John Wroblewski watches television, he takes notes for future reference and always makes sure he's keeping up with the latest news, such as Gen. David Petraeus' report to Congress this week.
John Wroblewski said he's under no illusions that everything is going perfectly, but said the United States is making progress _ pointing to a more peaceful Anbar province where his son was killed.
He firmly believes the United States went into Iraq for the right reasons, and needs to stick it out to establish a free country there.
It was through his advocacy that John Wroblewski made the connections that ultimately led him to Iraq in January. In August 2005, when anti-war proponents set up camp near President Bush's Crawford, Texas home, the Wroblewskis traveled there to show their support for the war.
The Wroblewskis ended up carpooling to Crawford with Gainesville, Ga.-based radio host Martha Zoller. The two stayed in touch. Eventually Zoller, who was planning her second trip to Iraq and working with now-retired Army Lt. Col. Robert Quinn, was able to take John Wroblewski with her.
John Wroblewski didn't make it to Ramadi, but he did make it to the hospital in Baghdad where his son died, and was able to better understand the place where his son spent his last weeks alive.
Quinn, another New Jerseyan who graduated from St. Joseph High School in Metuchen, said while the trip helped John Wroblewski deal with his grief, it also helped the troops there.
"Even with his loss, he went up to talk to soldiers," Quinn said. "The way that he talked to kids, put his arms around them ... He was that type of dad."
Being such a strong supporter of the war leads to inevitable comparisons with outspoken war critic Cindy Sheehan, whose son, Casey, was killed in Baghdad two days before Wroblewskis' son was killed. John Wroblewski said Cindy Sheehan has the right to her own opinion against the war, but says her views are not shared by every parent who lost a child in Iraq.
Wroblewski's constant attention to the war helps him deal with his loss, according to Michael Wroblewski, the oldest of the couple's remaining children.
"Does he obsess over it? I think so. But that's his way of staying in touch with my brother," said the 27-year-old Wroblewski. "People deal with death in different ways."
Advocacy, either for or against the war, often can be a healthy way of dealing with the death of a child, said Todd DuBose, an assistant professor of psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, who has worked with family members of dead troops.
"The tragedy itself is profound for either side, and one way to survive it is to try to make some sense out of it, so people will reach for ideologies," DuBose said.
For Wroblewski, a father of four, the war will always be personal. He bristles when he hears criticism of the mission or the troops, taking it as a criticism of his son.
"I really feel deep down inside that we are doing the right thing," he said. "We as Americans have to have the intestinal fortitude to get this job done."
__
On the Net:
To read remembrances about 2nd Lt. John T. Wroblewski: www.legacy.com
Ellie