thedrifter
06-10-07, 08:02 AM
'Mom, if I die, I've made my peace with God'
Medford Marine prepares to enter deadly Anbar province in Iraq
By Paul Fattig
Mail Tribune
June 10, 2007 6:00 AM
Lance Cpl. Willy Terrall freely acknowledged he had a tough week, what with his Marine infantry squad getting ambushed south of Baghdad.
Consider his April 20 e-mail sent to his mother, Laurie Terrall of Medford, relating how he ran forward to deliver machine-gun fire after two comrades were pinned down. He immediately became the primary target of enemy fire until F-18 jets arrived to chase off the bad guys.
Terrall, 21, a 2003 graduate of St. Mary's High School, had also just learned that a friend from an infantry class had been killed.
"... the details of his death were more brutal than I care to recount," he wrote. "This added to the fact that I've had about enough of being used by politicians as a pawn, my resolve is slackening a bit.
"When I hear politicians say those who do not support the war are not supporting the troops, I'd really like to know what troops they're talking about," he continued. "Most of the 'troops' in my platoon have come to agree that what we're being asked to do is irrational at best."
But later in the same missive he appears to reconsider his earlier frustration.
"Despite all this, I am glad to be here," he wrote. "I wanted to know exactly what it's like to be a combat Marine, and now I do."
"If I had my way I'd never read the news about the politics of this war," he added. "For me my mission remains simple: To provide whatever service I can for the Iraqis while working with my squad to ensure everyone comes back alive."
His mother, a former social worker who now works in a local call center, can relate to his feelings of conflict: She opposed the Iraq war before it started, and continues to join protests against it.
"But no matter how I feel about the war, I'm very, very proud of Willy and I do support the troops," she stressed. "Willy has always been aware of my feelings. Willy and I went around and around about the war for a long time.
"When you read Willy's e-mails, you see him say one thing in one sentence, then a conflicting thing in the next sentence," she added. "Obviously, there isn't an easy answer for him. I don't have an easy answer. No one does. That's the dilemma."
Her son left for Iraq with his infantry unit on Jan. 27. It's scheduled to return to the states on Aug. 27. He joined the Marine Corps in 2005 after leaving Puget Sound University in Washington where he was attending on a scholarship.
His brother Tracy, 24, is a college student in Eugene. Frank Gerjevic, her former husband and their father, is a journalist in Anchorage.
"Willy is the kind of person who cannot stand to see other people get hurt and not do anything about it," his mother said of his reason for joining. "When his age mates from this country are getting killed and injured, he wants to be there to try to help. That was a major driving force for him.
"He is a really high-energy person, not just physically but also mentally," she said. "The Marines have been very, very good for him in the sense of discipline. To give young people a place where they have a sense of belonging, of discipline, of structure and something to believe in is a good thing."
But Laurie Terrall, 54, makes a point of not following any news coverage of the war in Iraq. She doesn't watch TV news about the war or read any articles about it in the newspaper.
Yet when she stepped into the break room at work one day early last month, an all-news television program was blaring out news about the war.
"All I had to hear was, 'South of Baghdad, Humvee, blown up, three bodies burned beyond recognition and three soldiers kidnapped,' " she recalled. "Willy is south of Baghdad. He drives a Humvee. I didn't know if he was one of them. It upset me for two weeks.
"When the dogs bark, you wonder if someone is coming to tell you your son has been killed," she said. "If your supervisor comes over to your desk, you wonder if she is coming to tell you there is somebody asking to see you about your son."
In an e-mail relating his experiences May 9-17, her son reported that his unit had joined in the search looking for three American soldiers who went missing in the Marines' area of operations.
"We spent two days, literally nonstop, looking for them but found nothing but roads full of bombs," he wrote. "It was very frustrating."
He writes of spending long hours in a Humvee, waiting for the roads to be cleared. When he had a chance to take a break, he found he couldn't rest.
"I'd gotten four hours of sleep in the last 48 but found it hard to keep my eyes closed," he wrote. "Thoughts like, maybe if we had gotten there faster ... ran through my head."
As he did in earlier e-mails, the Marine from Medford comes to realize that he and his comrades in arms have done all they could under extremely difficult conditions. He speaks of the strong bond between the Marines and U.S. Army soldiers.
"You all share the good times and the bad," he wrote. "... you're all in it together, all the time. This comes with great grief at the loss of one another, but it also gives a great sense of purpose and understanding. In an era when Americans seems to be building many walls between each other, it takes a war-torn, third-world country to break them down."
His mother says her son's e-mails haven't changed her strong opposition to the war. She believes the American people were lied to about the start of the war by the Bush administration. There is no connection between Iraq and the Sept. 11 terrorist attack on the U.S., she said.
"We have infants and children and women who are not safe in their own homes here yet we are pouring billions of dollars into going into a country that had nothing to do with 9/11," she said.
With her son in Iraq, there are the dark times when she thinks about the worst possible news that a mother of a son or daughter serving in the military could receive.
"That's overwhelming — it's a horrible hollow, empty feeling," she said. "This is the person you gave birth to, the person you nursed, the person you held close."
Before he left early this year, the two talked about the potential for his being wounded or killed.
"We have had a very frank discussion," she said of the emotionally draining talk with her son. "I told him it would pain me to no end to know he would be halfway around the world and I won't be with him if he were hurt or dying.
"Shortly before he left he told me, 'Mom, if I die, I've made my peace with God,' " she said.
While her son's e-mails have been difficult for her to read at times because of their poignancy, there have been moments of humor and hope.
"After six days of humid, 100-degree, insect-infested fun, I'm back at Camp Fallujah for a day and a half of rest," he wrote in early May. He added that his efforts to learn more Arabic to better communicate with and understand the Iraqi people are paying off.
"I've begun to notice major cultural trends that help me assess who's who and what areas are relatively safer than others," he wrote. "Progress in cultural and lingual pursuits seem to come in leaps and bounds in this total-immersion environment."
Her son's latest e-mail was May 27. His unit had just received orders to saddle up.
"Unfortunately, this will be the last e-mail I will be able to write for the next two and a half months," he wrote. "My platoon is moving out of Camp Fallujah and into the wild frontier.
"... the new area is said to be one of the worst in the Anbar province," he added. "We're told some of its fine features include a lively sniper cell as well as some of Iraq's most up-and-coming minds in the IED/roadside bomb field."
Yet he concludes with his usual note of optimism, adding that Iraqi families had been providing them with cold drinking water and served them meals.
"It's true the United States will never be able to force a peace in Iraq, but if we can provide security, maybe we can bring those who can to the table," he wrote. "I don't know if this will happen but I certainly know it's a possibility.
"God willing, I will see you all soon. Until August," he concluded.
Reach reporter Paul Fattig at 776-4496 or at pfattig@mailtribune.com
Ellie
Medford Marine prepares to enter deadly Anbar province in Iraq
By Paul Fattig
Mail Tribune
June 10, 2007 6:00 AM
Lance Cpl. Willy Terrall freely acknowledged he had a tough week, what with his Marine infantry squad getting ambushed south of Baghdad.
Consider his April 20 e-mail sent to his mother, Laurie Terrall of Medford, relating how he ran forward to deliver machine-gun fire after two comrades were pinned down. He immediately became the primary target of enemy fire until F-18 jets arrived to chase off the bad guys.
Terrall, 21, a 2003 graduate of St. Mary's High School, had also just learned that a friend from an infantry class had been killed.
"... the details of his death were more brutal than I care to recount," he wrote. "This added to the fact that I've had about enough of being used by politicians as a pawn, my resolve is slackening a bit.
"When I hear politicians say those who do not support the war are not supporting the troops, I'd really like to know what troops they're talking about," he continued. "Most of the 'troops' in my platoon have come to agree that what we're being asked to do is irrational at best."
But later in the same missive he appears to reconsider his earlier frustration.
"Despite all this, I am glad to be here," he wrote. "I wanted to know exactly what it's like to be a combat Marine, and now I do."
"If I had my way I'd never read the news about the politics of this war," he added. "For me my mission remains simple: To provide whatever service I can for the Iraqis while working with my squad to ensure everyone comes back alive."
His mother, a former social worker who now works in a local call center, can relate to his feelings of conflict: She opposed the Iraq war before it started, and continues to join protests against it.
"But no matter how I feel about the war, I'm very, very proud of Willy and I do support the troops," she stressed. "Willy has always been aware of my feelings. Willy and I went around and around about the war for a long time.
"When you read Willy's e-mails, you see him say one thing in one sentence, then a conflicting thing in the next sentence," she added. "Obviously, there isn't an easy answer for him. I don't have an easy answer. No one does. That's the dilemma."
Her son left for Iraq with his infantry unit on Jan. 27. It's scheduled to return to the states on Aug. 27. He joined the Marine Corps in 2005 after leaving Puget Sound University in Washington where he was attending on a scholarship.
His brother Tracy, 24, is a college student in Eugene. Frank Gerjevic, her former husband and their father, is a journalist in Anchorage.
"Willy is the kind of person who cannot stand to see other people get hurt and not do anything about it," his mother said of his reason for joining. "When his age mates from this country are getting killed and injured, he wants to be there to try to help. That was a major driving force for him.
"He is a really high-energy person, not just physically but also mentally," she said. "The Marines have been very, very good for him in the sense of discipline. To give young people a place where they have a sense of belonging, of discipline, of structure and something to believe in is a good thing."
But Laurie Terrall, 54, makes a point of not following any news coverage of the war in Iraq. She doesn't watch TV news about the war or read any articles about it in the newspaper.
Yet when she stepped into the break room at work one day early last month, an all-news television program was blaring out news about the war.
"All I had to hear was, 'South of Baghdad, Humvee, blown up, three bodies burned beyond recognition and three soldiers kidnapped,' " she recalled. "Willy is south of Baghdad. He drives a Humvee. I didn't know if he was one of them. It upset me for two weeks.
"When the dogs bark, you wonder if someone is coming to tell you your son has been killed," she said. "If your supervisor comes over to your desk, you wonder if she is coming to tell you there is somebody asking to see you about your son."
In an e-mail relating his experiences May 9-17, her son reported that his unit had joined in the search looking for three American soldiers who went missing in the Marines' area of operations.
"We spent two days, literally nonstop, looking for them but found nothing but roads full of bombs," he wrote. "It was very frustrating."
He writes of spending long hours in a Humvee, waiting for the roads to be cleared. When he had a chance to take a break, he found he couldn't rest.
"I'd gotten four hours of sleep in the last 48 but found it hard to keep my eyes closed," he wrote. "Thoughts like, maybe if we had gotten there faster ... ran through my head."
As he did in earlier e-mails, the Marine from Medford comes to realize that he and his comrades in arms have done all they could under extremely difficult conditions. He speaks of the strong bond between the Marines and U.S. Army soldiers.
"You all share the good times and the bad," he wrote. "... you're all in it together, all the time. This comes with great grief at the loss of one another, but it also gives a great sense of purpose and understanding. In an era when Americans seems to be building many walls between each other, it takes a war-torn, third-world country to break them down."
His mother says her son's e-mails haven't changed her strong opposition to the war. She believes the American people were lied to about the start of the war by the Bush administration. There is no connection between Iraq and the Sept. 11 terrorist attack on the U.S., she said.
"We have infants and children and women who are not safe in their own homes here yet we are pouring billions of dollars into going into a country that had nothing to do with 9/11," she said.
With her son in Iraq, there are the dark times when she thinks about the worst possible news that a mother of a son or daughter serving in the military could receive.
"That's overwhelming — it's a horrible hollow, empty feeling," she said. "This is the person you gave birth to, the person you nursed, the person you held close."
Before he left early this year, the two talked about the potential for his being wounded or killed.
"We have had a very frank discussion," she said of the emotionally draining talk with her son. "I told him it would pain me to no end to know he would be halfway around the world and I won't be with him if he were hurt or dying.
"Shortly before he left he told me, 'Mom, if I die, I've made my peace with God,' " she said.
While her son's e-mails have been difficult for her to read at times because of their poignancy, there have been moments of humor and hope.
"After six days of humid, 100-degree, insect-infested fun, I'm back at Camp Fallujah for a day and a half of rest," he wrote in early May. He added that his efforts to learn more Arabic to better communicate with and understand the Iraqi people are paying off.
"I've begun to notice major cultural trends that help me assess who's who and what areas are relatively safer than others," he wrote. "Progress in cultural and lingual pursuits seem to come in leaps and bounds in this total-immersion environment."
Her son's latest e-mail was May 27. His unit had just received orders to saddle up.
"Unfortunately, this will be the last e-mail I will be able to write for the next two and a half months," he wrote. "My platoon is moving out of Camp Fallujah and into the wild frontier.
"... the new area is said to be one of the worst in the Anbar province," he added. "We're told some of its fine features include a lively sniper cell as well as some of Iraq's most up-and-coming minds in the IED/roadside bomb field."
Yet he concludes with his usual note of optimism, adding that Iraqi families had been providing them with cold drinking water and served them meals.
"It's true the United States will never be able to force a peace in Iraq, but if we can provide security, maybe we can bring those who can to the table," he wrote. "I don't know if this will happen but I certainly know it's a possibility.
"God willing, I will see you all soon. Until August," he concluded.
Reach reporter Paul Fattig at 776-4496 or at pfattig@mailtribune.com
Ellie