thedrifter
08-20-06, 03:00 PM
While Daddy’s Away
August 20,2006
chrissy vick
DAILY NEWS STAFF
“Daddy, Daddy!”
Eight-year-old Morgan Czerwinski shouted it every time she saw American troops on the news.
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
At the time her dad, Anthony, was fighting in the battle for Fallujah, she was 6 years old.
“We had to stop watching the news,” said Jacque Czerwinski, Anthony’s wife. “We had to ban it from my house. The kids would get too upset.
“(Anthony) lost a lot of men. Every day I pray that he can get through that.”
Jacque knows the stresses of being a Marine wife — particularly when Anthony is deployed. He missed the birth of their two children while being gone. Though married, she knows the stresses of being a single mother.
“You have to be the mom, the dad, the grandparents,” she said. “It’s very demanding. You don’t get any breaks.”
Jacque’s husband, Anthony, has been deployed four times in his 10 years in the Marine Corps.
When Marines deploy, leaving their families is not easy. They leave behind the ability to counsel their kids when they’ve messed up or to provide a big bear hug when they’ve had a bad day. They can no longer be involved as a spouse in daily activities, including lending emotional support, Jacque said.
And the wives and husbands left behind are forced to fulfill all of the roles their spouse once did.
Juggling these roles becomes second nature. But it doesn’t always become easy.
As the new school year approaches, Marine moms have to look at incorporating their role as counselors, housekeepers, cooks, parents, best friends and taxi drivers. They have to prepare to take their kids to school and to soccer matches, all while being involved in the PTA or the Key Wives Network.
Some work full-time jobs, while others take care of newborn babies. That’s not to mention the stress of knowing their spouse is in a war zone — and the constant changes like moving or readjusting to having them home.
“With the guys coming in and out of the house, it puts a strain on you,” Jacque said.
So, just how do they do it?
Jacque said it starts with a friend. For her, that lifeline comes in the form of Marine mom Vicki Self, her next-door neighbor.
“Even after they come back you need support because it’s a hard transition for the kids and the wife,” Jacque said.
“It is for the moms, too,” Vicki added. “Not many are out here doing what I’m doing.”
Vicki went from being a grandmother to a mother in a matter of days. She quit her job working at a resort in Tennessee to come aboard Camp Lejeune and take care of her two grandchildren — Kylie, 3, and Brandt, 6, while her son, Tracey, serves in Camp Fallujah.
“It’s just been a struggle getting used to taking care of the kids,” Vicki said. “They miss their dad.”
But the bond that Jacque and Self have formed has helped bear such burdens, they said.
The two stood in a long line with a number of other Marine families Saturday morning at Camp Lejeune waiting for free school supplies. They were donated by the Armed Forces YMCA during a back-to-school event organized by Marine Corps Community Services.
Many said receiving free school supplies helps with the financial burden that military families sometimes face — especially this time of year.
“It’s hard buying the school supplies and shoes and all that,” Jacque said. “It’s hard because I can’t work to bring in that extra money I need. I can’t rely on my husband to help me at night even when he’s home because of his schedule. Sometimes he can go to work and not come home until the next day.”
Marine wife Lianna Lotthammer has found the same struggle to be true.
“Even though they get paid more when they’re in combat, I could make twice that,” she said.
But Marine wives always seem to make it through — they say they are the best at “stretching a paycheck.”
For Lianna, it’s sleeping at night that is difficult. Every time she rolls over, her thoughts turn to her husband, Mark. He is currently serving with 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marines in Iraq.
“It’s hard not to worry,” she said. “It’s stressful.”
Mark has been deployed three times in their two years of marriage — once to Cuba, and twice to Iraq.
The family has also moved five times since then, which is hard on all of them, Lianna said. Their son, 7-year-old Dominick, is starting fourth grade at Tarawa Terrace II Elementary School — for him, one of many new schools.
“But he makes new friends pretty easy. I like the school year because it gives you structure,” she said. “You just keep your days busy, visit family and try to leave the house as much as possible. What helps you get through is that you feel like he is accomplishing something over there.”
Marine wife Anne-Marie Wiley said focusing on that helps her make it through.
“Believe it or not you can enjoy (the military life),” she said. “You just have to have the right attitude.”
She and best friend Jackie Bond have been lucky, they say. Their husbands have been deployed at the same time, which has allowed them to be there for one another.
“It’s great, because then we need each other at the same time,” Jackie said.
The two met through their husbands, who also found a friendship through the Corps.
“They talk about blended families a lot these days, where step families come together as one family — I think we’re like a blended family,” Jackie said. “It’s more than a friendship.
“If something important happens, we call each other first. We share the holidays when our husbands are away. We do it for ourselves, for our kids and for our husbands — so they know we have each other.”
Some, like Jackie, have to get through deployments while working a full-time job. And as the school year approaches, it’s a daunting thought just to make it through the morning.
“My biggest challenge is I’m going to have to get her to school, I’m going to have to get her to day care and me to work by 8 a.m.,” Jackie said, pointing to her two daughters — 5-year-old Leslie, who starts kindergarten this week, and 1-year-old Gabriella.
That’s not to mention what happens after school.
“There is one parent to bathe the kids, feed the kids and take care of them,” said Jackie, who works as a guidance counselor. “I have one weekend to clean, shop and spend time with them.”
Such juggling, she says, takes organization and a lot of adapting.
“The Marine motto is ‘Semper Fidelis — Always Faithful.’ Our motto is ‘Semper Gumby — Always Flexible.’” said Anne-Marie with a laugh, brandishing a green Gumby figure on her keychain. “You can’t be too rigid or you’ll break.”
Jackie agree, saying flexibility is key. It’s something she knows all about.
At 37 years old, she decided to marry a Marine. To do so, she gave up an established career and a lifetime of memories in her hometown in Pennsylvania to make her first-ever move.
That was just two and a half years ago.
“I left my church, neighbors we love and a great house,” Jackie said. “I didn’t know what to expect when I got here.”
But she says she quickly learned to adapt and prioritize — something she’ll need in the coming school year. Her ability to do so brings comfort to her husband when he is away.
“My husband knows I am capable to take care of the family when he’s sleeping on a cot with a gun between his legs and a knife under his pillow,” Jackie said. “I know he can focus on his training, staying safe and Lord-willing making it home safe.”
Every night, Leslie and Jackie say a prayer before going to bed.
“Thank you God for keeping daddy safe in Iraq,” Leslie prays when her dad is home.
But when Brian is away, Leslie’s prayers turn to, “Please, God, keep daddy safe in Iraq.”
In February, Leslie’s prayers will again include the latter. Brian, with 8th ESB on Camp Lejeune, will be deployed again. Anne-Marie’s husband, Patrick, will also deploy with the 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit in January.
But Anne-Marie is no rookie to deployments. Patrick was sent away two weeks after they were married for a one-year tour in Okinawa.
“I knew what I was getting into,” Anne-Marie said with a laugh. “I was a Marine myself.”
Between the two of them, they’ve been deployed at least 15 times in total, she said. But with the school year approaching, she hopes their two children Jacob, 7, and Jolene, 4, will be able to get into a routine.
“I know this is a little bit harder because they’re older,” Anne-Marie said.
Jackie, Anne-Marie and the kids have projects planned for the upcoming deployment, including sending packages, letters and photos to Patrick and Brian, who will miss birthdays and anniversaries.
“We have talking picture frames that help a lot,” Anne-Marie said. “Patrick records a message for each of us. The kids listen to that every day. We write letters and I keep journals of everything that happens.
“It’s almost as if he doesn’t even miss it.”
Contact staff writer Chrissy Vick at cvick@freedomenc.com or by calling 353-1171, ext. 239.
Ellie
August 20,2006
chrissy vick
DAILY NEWS STAFF
“Daddy, Daddy!”
Eight-year-old Morgan Czerwinski shouted it every time she saw American troops on the news.
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
At the time her dad, Anthony, was fighting in the battle for Fallujah, she was 6 years old.
“We had to stop watching the news,” said Jacque Czerwinski, Anthony’s wife. “We had to ban it from my house. The kids would get too upset.
“(Anthony) lost a lot of men. Every day I pray that he can get through that.”
Jacque knows the stresses of being a Marine wife — particularly when Anthony is deployed. He missed the birth of their two children while being gone. Though married, she knows the stresses of being a single mother.
“You have to be the mom, the dad, the grandparents,” she said. “It’s very demanding. You don’t get any breaks.”
Jacque’s husband, Anthony, has been deployed four times in his 10 years in the Marine Corps.
When Marines deploy, leaving their families is not easy. They leave behind the ability to counsel their kids when they’ve messed up or to provide a big bear hug when they’ve had a bad day. They can no longer be involved as a spouse in daily activities, including lending emotional support, Jacque said.
And the wives and husbands left behind are forced to fulfill all of the roles their spouse once did.
Juggling these roles becomes second nature. But it doesn’t always become easy.
As the new school year approaches, Marine moms have to look at incorporating their role as counselors, housekeepers, cooks, parents, best friends and taxi drivers. They have to prepare to take their kids to school and to soccer matches, all while being involved in the PTA or the Key Wives Network.
Some work full-time jobs, while others take care of newborn babies. That’s not to mention the stress of knowing their spouse is in a war zone — and the constant changes like moving or readjusting to having them home.
“With the guys coming in and out of the house, it puts a strain on you,” Jacque said.
So, just how do they do it?
Jacque said it starts with a friend. For her, that lifeline comes in the form of Marine mom Vicki Self, her next-door neighbor.
“Even after they come back you need support because it’s a hard transition for the kids and the wife,” Jacque said.
“It is for the moms, too,” Vicki added. “Not many are out here doing what I’m doing.”
Vicki went from being a grandmother to a mother in a matter of days. She quit her job working at a resort in Tennessee to come aboard Camp Lejeune and take care of her two grandchildren — Kylie, 3, and Brandt, 6, while her son, Tracey, serves in Camp Fallujah.
“It’s just been a struggle getting used to taking care of the kids,” Vicki said. “They miss their dad.”
But the bond that Jacque and Self have formed has helped bear such burdens, they said.
The two stood in a long line with a number of other Marine families Saturday morning at Camp Lejeune waiting for free school supplies. They were donated by the Armed Forces YMCA during a back-to-school event organized by Marine Corps Community Services.
Many said receiving free school supplies helps with the financial burden that military families sometimes face — especially this time of year.
“It’s hard buying the school supplies and shoes and all that,” Jacque said. “It’s hard because I can’t work to bring in that extra money I need. I can’t rely on my husband to help me at night even when he’s home because of his schedule. Sometimes he can go to work and not come home until the next day.”
Marine wife Lianna Lotthammer has found the same struggle to be true.
“Even though they get paid more when they’re in combat, I could make twice that,” she said.
But Marine wives always seem to make it through — they say they are the best at “stretching a paycheck.”
For Lianna, it’s sleeping at night that is difficult. Every time she rolls over, her thoughts turn to her husband, Mark. He is currently serving with 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marines in Iraq.
“It’s hard not to worry,” she said. “It’s stressful.”
Mark has been deployed three times in their two years of marriage — once to Cuba, and twice to Iraq.
The family has also moved five times since then, which is hard on all of them, Lianna said. Their son, 7-year-old Dominick, is starting fourth grade at Tarawa Terrace II Elementary School — for him, one of many new schools.
“But he makes new friends pretty easy. I like the school year because it gives you structure,” she said. “You just keep your days busy, visit family and try to leave the house as much as possible. What helps you get through is that you feel like he is accomplishing something over there.”
Marine wife Anne-Marie Wiley said focusing on that helps her make it through.
“Believe it or not you can enjoy (the military life),” she said. “You just have to have the right attitude.”
She and best friend Jackie Bond have been lucky, they say. Their husbands have been deployed at the same time, which has allowed them to be there for one another.
“It’s great, because then we need each other at the same time,” Jackie said.
The two met through their husbands, who also found a friendship through the Corps.
“They talk about blended families a lot these days, where step families come together as one family — I think we’re like a blended family,” Jackie said. “It’s more than a friendship.
“If something important happens, we call each other first. We share the holidays when our husbands are away. We do it for ourselves, for our kids and for our husbands — so they know we have each other.”
Some, like Jackie, have to get through deployments while working a full-time job. And as the school year approaches, it’s a daunting thought just to make it through the morning.
“My biggest challenge is I’m going to have to get her to school, I’m going to have to get her to day care and me to work by 8 a.m.,” Jackie said, pointing to her two daughters — 5-year-old Leslie, who starts kindergarten this week, and 1-year-old Gabriella.
That’s not to mention what happens after school.
“There is one parent to bathe the kids, feed the kids and take care of them,” said Jackie, who works as a guidance counselor. “I have one weekend to clean, shop and spend time with them.”
Such juggling, she says, takes organization and a lot of adapting.
“The Marine motto is ‘Semper Fidelis — Always Faithful.’ Our motto is ‘Semper Gumby — Always Flexible.’” said Anne-Marie with a laugh, brandishing a green Gumby figure on her keychain. “You can’t be too rigid or you’ll break.”
Jackie agree, saying flexibility is key. It’s something she knows all about.
At 37 years old, she decided to marry a Marine. To do so, she gave up an established career and a lifetime of memories in her hometown in Pennsylvania to make her first-ever move.
That was just two and a half years ago.
“I left my church, neighbors we love and a great house,” Jackie said. “I didn’t know what to expect when I got here.”
But she says she quickly learned to adapt and prioritize — something she’ll need in the coming school year. Her ability to do so brings comfort to her husband when he is away.
“My husband knows I am capable to take care of the family when he’s sleeping on a cot with a gun between his legs and a knife under his pillow,” Jackie said. “I know he can focus on his training, staying safe and Lord-willing making it home safe.”
Every night, Leslie and Jackie say a prayer before going to bed.
“Thank you God for keeping daddy safe in Iraq,” Leslie prays when her dad is home.
But when Brian is away, Leslie’s prayers turn to, “Please, God, keep daddy safe in Iraq.”
In February, Leslie’s prayers will again include the latter. Brian, with 8th ESB on Camp Lejeune, will be deployed again. Anne-Marie’s husband, Patrick, will also deploy with the 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit in January.
But Anne-Marie is no rookie to deployments. Patrick was sent away two weeks after they were married for a one-year tour in Okinawa.
“I knew what I was getting into,” Anne-Marie said with a laugh. “I was a Marine myself.”
Between the two of them, they’ve been deployed at least 15 times in total, she said. But with the school year approaching, she hopes their two children Jacob, 7, and Jolene, 4, will be able to get into a routine.
“I know this is a little bit harder because they’re older,” Anne-Marie said.
Jackie, Anne-Marie and the kids have projects planned for the upcoming deployment, including sending packages, letters and photos to Patrick and Brian, who will miss birthdays and anniversaries.
“We have talking picture frames that help a lot,” Anne-Marie said. “Patrick records a message for each of us. The kids listen to that every day. We write letters and I keep journals of everything that happens.
“It’s almost as if he doesn’t even miss it.”
Contact staff writer Chrissy Vick at cvick@freedomenc.com or by calling 353-1171, ext. 239.
Ellie