What I Learned In Vietnam

[thedrifter]

Don't forget your insect repellent when you go on a dismounted, night ambush.
Always wear gloves when handling concertina wire.
A pallet of beer contains 96 cases (So does a pallet of sodas, but who cares?).
When placed in a marmite can full of ice water, a warm beer takes 9 minutes to become cold enough to drink.
If you're too impatient to wait the 9 minutes, spin the can of beer on a block of ice for 4-5 minutes to make it cold enough to drink.
It's better to be the left gunner on an ACAV than the right gunner. You don't have to breathe the exhaust fumes that way.
Always wear your shirt when driving an ACAV. The brass from the .50 caliber tends to burn the skin.
When borrowing the 1st Sergeant's jeep to take an unauthorized road trip to Saigon, make sure the gas tank is full.
There are 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes and 31,536,000 seconds in a year.
If you take a Sheridan's gunner's seat out of the turret, you can carry an additional 17 cases of beer.
Wrapped in a fatigue shirt, a fifth of Jim Beam will fit perfectly inside the amplifier integrator in the turret of a Sheridan (it won't break either!).
After deciding on how much money to take on R&R, double that amount and then double it again.
The flash hider on an M16 (not M16A1) will break the wire on a case of C rations with very little effort.
Never **** off the people who pay you, the people who feed you and the 1st Sergeant.
You will make mistakes during your tour of duty in Vietnam. Make them with enthusiasm.
They should change the name of R&R to I&I (Intoxication & Intercourse).
If you spray GI bug spray on your pet dog, all of its fleas will die and he will be your friend for life.
Check between the road wheels of your track for pet dogs before moving out to react to enemy contact.
Try not to get put on ****-burning detail when you're hung over.
If you sneak into a fire support base mess hall during a rocket attack, you can eat 18 pieces of chicken before the mess personnel come back from the bunkers.
If you put every main dish item from a case of C rations into a pot, cook it up and season it just right, it still tastes like ****.
If you decide to take a shower in the rain, get lathered-up and it quits raining, that soap is a real ***** to get off.
If you're in the rear and decide to have a little fun with a short-time girl in the outhouse, make sure the 1st Sergeant isn't in the AO.
When you're changing the barrel of an M60 during a firefight, be careful where you throw the burned-out barrel.
Red ants will always make their nests in the top of the tree you're trying to push over with your tank.
Leeches will attach themselves to your body in places you never thought imaginable.
Make sure you're up-wind of the CS grenade that you just threw.

TUNES Steppinwolf,Doors,We Gotta Get Outta This Place, He Ain't Heavy,Hey, Jude......etc..........


Sempers,

Roger

[Sparrowhawk]

The Marine Corps Special Vietnam General Orders, are
as follows (c).
by Sparrowhawk

SIR, my first general order is;
To kill all commies I engage in battle, sir.

SIR, my second general order is;
I will NOT KILL anyone that is not communist, including
CIVILIANS, stray water buffalo's, and MILITARY OFFICERS
from other branch of services, sir.

SIR, my third general order is;
To secure the nametags of all commies I have killed
in battle send one to our Commander in Chief so, as he can
count it as a confirmed kill, and one dog tag to their folks
back home, sir.

SIR, my fourth general order is;
Once I have buried the little commie, to not say a
prayer in his behalf on account he being a communist and
all, sir.

SIR, my fifth general order is;
To get the most in trade in allowance from the gear,
uniform, weapons and K-bars stripped from the communist
soldiers I have killed in battle, sir.

SIR, my sixth general order is;
To make a reverse copy of all documents recovered from
such dead gooks, forward said disinformation copy along
with other fake information I can obtain to intelligence
to keep them busy and away from us while we wage war upon
the enemy, sir.

SIR, my seventh general order is;
NOT TO BELIEVE the information obtained from intelligence
on account said, dead gook wanted such information to be
found by them, and said officers actually believe that stuff,
sir.

SIR, my eighth general order is;
NOT TO KILL VC, on account they are poorly trained,
are poor misguided souls manipulated by Communist propaganda
and ARE NOT WORTHY of engagement by a United States Marine,
sir.

SIR, my ninth general order is;
If by chance a VC jumps into the sights of my weapon
while I am engaged in a fire fight with real soldiers from
the North Vietnamese Army and said VC suffers death,

I shall bury my weapon in disgrace,
I shall not take credit for a confirmed kill,
I shall give up one rank above Lance Corporal and sir,
I shall not eat the pound cake and peaches from my
C-rats for two days, sir.

SIR, my tenth and final general order is;
To allow all other Marines of different ethnic and
minority groups to get their fair share of confirmed communist
killed gooks before ordering more ammo from the rear sir.


-- Classified (SPARROWHAWK)


__________________

[fabboss]

AND DON'T FORGET "WE ALL LIVE IN A GREEN SON*&A^)$@^" AND IT WEREN'T NO YELLOW SUBMARINE LIKE THE BEATTLES

[Riven37]

what I learned was "Better he then Me"