thedrifter
11-08-05, 06:15 AM
The Smell of Burning Cheese
Written by Doc Farmer
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
The capital of Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkey-Land is on fire. The vaunted “City of Lights” is being illuminated by burning cars, Molotov cocktails, and the sparks which spring forth like little dancing pixies from those tear gas launchers. Jacques Chiraq, the walking turd who runs this pit of socialism and strife, is planning to “get tough” with the rioters. I guess that means he’ll not wash his urine stains off of the White Flag when he goes to the surrender table.
For those of you playing the home game, here’s the poop: Apparently, about two weeks ago, a lady in a Paris suburb called the local police to report car theft or some such. The police, in an unusual move, actually came to investigate. It seems this doesn’t happen too often, mainly because the crime levels are too high for their safety [Irony Alert! Irony Alert!]. But they braved the combat zone to search for the potential perpetrators. Two teenaged boys, whose names were apparently NOT François and Jean-Luc, decided to hide from the cops in a convenient electrical substation. The kids fried, and the cops were blamed for their deaths. From that has come 12+ days of destruction and, as of Monday, at least one death. A report from The Scotsman suggests that the violence has spread to over 300 towns and villages.
There are even rumblings across Europe that have some people believing that this rioting in Froggyland may spread, infecting the Krauts, the Sprouts, and a bunch of other euro-socialist scumbag countries. They could end up with a civil war in the new Eunited States of Europe.
To which I reply, GOOD!
I’ve got absolutely NO sympathy with Europe. I’ve got a lot of support for the United Kingdom, who are NOT part of Europe, despite that idiotic tunnel they dug to the continent. Granted, I don’t like Tony Blur that much because he’s a stinkin’ socialist (and I’ve also got a personal grudge against him for the way he snubbed my political hero, Lord David Sutch, after his belovèd Mum died), but his country has been in the forefront of support for America’s War on Terrorism, and for that he has my thanks. Besides, America loves the Brits. We’re happy when Prince Up-Chuck and his new wife, Lady Horse-Face, come to visit. We’re even happier that they’ve sold us Monty Python’s Flying Circus, but have never offered us Eastenders. Trust me, we as a nation and a people are much better off that way.
But the Frogs? Screw them and the horse they ate. We’ve bailed their sorry, brie-encrusted butts several times in the past century – World War I, World War II, the Cold War, Vietnam – and they’ve returned our kindness with derision and hatred. We saved them from starvation after the war, and they’ve complained about the American success of “Le Mac Grand.” And when we try to inform them of the dangers of Islamofascism (not Islam, mind you), they call us racist.
Racist. This, from a people who think that France is a race. Not only that, they consider themselves the “master race” of things like language, art, cooking, sex, and philosophy. Sadly, they’ve never mastered soap, but that’s an entirely different issue. They call us racist, while we’ve done more than ANY country to protect ALL races across the globe. Even those “races” that don’t deserve protection, like the CESM bastards who are getting their butts kicked by Islamofascists. Even “regular” Muslim kids who have chosen crime as an expression of teenage angst (instead of beer and crack, like all good American kids!) aren’t by in large a race. And they’re certainly not deserving of sympathy or support.
Of course, the Frogs are the folks who constantly decry our deplorable human rights record, while they themselves use torture and inhumane prison conditions as a standard practice. Oh, and they’re also the ones who wanted us to be nice to Islamofascists, just like they are. After all, they got a lot of good illegal oil-for-food contracts by being nice to gentle, caring Muslims like Saddam Hussein, by promising to stop America from killing their friendly terrorist buddies. Besides, just look at the result of making nice-nice with human garbage like that. Eventually, it comes back to bite them, and rightly so.
The leftist news media in the States have been referring to the violence over there as a “shock wave.” Well, they seem to be the only ones who are shocked. The rest of us are only “shocked” that it took this long to begin falling apart over there. Well, better late than never, I suppose.
There is one theory that the riots started because of the announcement that Gerard Depardieu was no longer making motion pictures. Frankly, I’d understand the violence more if he had announced he was making more movies, but that’s just me. However, I’ve been reliably informed that while Depardieu himself will no longer appear in films, his nose has independently signed a 3-movie deal (IMAX-only, apparently).
The Frogs seem to have been caught off-guard by this pimple on their socialist backside. Their worker’s paradise has been blessed with double-digit unemployment for some time now, despite the phenomenal strength of the European economy when compared to America (in their fevered yet tiny little minds, that is). The no-borders policy of the Euro Hegemony was possibly well-meaning, but certainly not well-thought-out. Like most lib/dem/soc/commie policies, they used their hearts instead of their brains. Sadly, what passes for both their hearts and brains seem to have descended from their cranial and central thoracic cavities down to the good ol’ sigmoid.
We can learn some things from the stupidity of our former Euro allies, however. The dangers of uncontrolled immigration without proper assimilation of the immigrants into their new culture are being illustrated (and illuminated) across the streets of Parisian socialist slums. We’ve got something similar brewing here. We have bent over backwards to illegal aliens, same as the Frogs, and unless we do something to stem the tide of illegals, and help the assimilation of legal immigrants, we’re going to end up with something similar.
We, as a nation, should offer NO help to the Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkeys. No logistical support, no financial support, no intelligence support, no military support. If they call information, we should hang up. If the EU is so bloody hot to trot, if they’re so damn butch, let’s see them come to Froggyland’s aid. I’m sure the Krauts will be happy to send in support troops, and the Frogs will greet them with open arms and tears of joy (like they did back in the early 1940’s, if memory serves). Then again, the Germans will be so tied up in bureaucratic knots by the Brussels Boy Scout Branch (see also: EU Headquarters) the country will be a smoldering pit around the same time as they decide the shape of the negotiating table. I’ve been told that Germany already has a plan in place to force the Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkeys to capitulate. They plan to serve white wine with the chateaubriand.
In the mean time, however, there will be the loss of innocent life in Europe. Regular citizens, who were promised safety and protection by their governments, will find those as empty as all the other promises they were handed. They’ll end up with an Islamofascist regime eventually, which means that they’ll be exporting more terror out of Froggyland (in addition to all those Gerard Depardieu movies). All those vineyards will have to be plowed under, of course, because alcohol is anathema to Islamofascists. They’ll be replaced by poppy fields as the new “cash crop.” Best of all, the Islamofascists will finally have access to all those lovely Froggy nukes. And I’ll guaran-damn-tee you that they won’t be “testing” them on Moruroa – Manhattan, more likely.
At which point, we’ll have to nuke them. Preferably using bombs wrapped in a thick layer of bacon.
I’m sure some of you are shocked and dismayed by my total lack of sympathy. Well, tough. I’m sympathied-out by scum like the Frogs, to whom we have provided much support in the past. Support that cost American lives, only to have the Frogs spit on their graves. Well, after a while, when you have to deal with ungrateful bastards all the time, you learn that if people can’t be grateful maybe they don’t deserve the help.
About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest. Doc receives e-mail at docfarmer9999@yahoo.co.uk.
Ellie
Written by Doc Farmer
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
The capital of Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkey-Land is on fire. The vaunted “City of Lights” is being illuminated by burning cars, Molotov cocktails, and the sparks which spring forth like little dancing pixies from those tear gas launchers. Jacques Chiraq, the walking turd who runs this pit of socialism and strife, is planning to “get tough” with the rioters. I guess that means he’ll not wash his urine stains off of the White Flag when he goes to the surrender table.
For those of you playing the home game, here’s the poop: Apparently, about two weeks ago, a lady in a Paris suburb called the local police to report car theft or some such. The police, in an unusual move, actually came to investigate. It seems this doesn’t happen too often, mainly because the crime levels are too high for their safety [Irony Alert! Irony Alert!]. But they braved the combat zone to search for the potential perpetrators. Two teenaged boys, whose names were apparently NOT François and Jean-Luc, decided to hide from the cops in a convenient electrical substation. The kids fried, and the cops were blamed for their deaths. From that has come 12+ days of destruction and, as of Monday, at least one death. A report from The Scotsman suggests that the violence has spread to over 300 towns and villages.
There are even rumblings across Europe that have some people believing that this rioting in Froggyland may spread, infecting the Krauts, the Sprouts, and a bunch of other euro-socialist scumbag countries. They could end up with a civil war in the new Eunited States of Europe.
To which I reply, GOOD!
I’ve got absolutely NO sympathy with Europe. I’ve got a lot of support for the United Kingdom, who are NOT part of Europe, despite that idiotic tunnel they dug to the continent. Granted, I don’t like Tony Blur that much because he’s a stinkin’ socialist (and I’ve also got a personal grudge against him for the way he snubbed my political hero, Lord David Sutch, after his belovèd Mum died), but his country has been in the forefront of support for America’s War on Terrorism, and for that he has my thanks. Besides, America loves the Brits. We’re happy when Prince Up-Chuck and his new wife, Lady Horse-Face, come to visit. We’re even happier that they’ve sold us Monty Python’s Flying Circus, but have never offered us Eastenders. Trust me, we as a nation and a people are much better off that way.
But the Frogs? Screw them and the horse they ate. We’ve bailed their sorry, brie-encrusted butts several times in the past century – World War I, World War II, the Cold War, Vietnam – and they’ve returned our kindness with derision and hatred. We saved them from starvation after the war, and they’ve complained about the American success of “Le Mac Grand.” And when we try to inform them of the dangers of Islamofascism (not Islam, mind you), they call us racist.
Racist. This, from a people who think that France is a race. Not only that, they consider themselves the “master race” of things like language, art, cooking, sex, and philosophy. Sadly, they’ve never mastered soap, but that’s an entirely different issue. They call us racist, while we’ve done more than ANY country to protect ALL races across the globe. Even those “races” that don’t deserve protection, like the CESM bastards who are getting their butts kicked by Islamofascists. Even “regular” Muslim kids who have chosen crime as an expression of teenage angst (instead of beer and crack, like all good American kids!) aren’t by in large a race. And they’re certainly not deserving of sympathy or support.
Of course, the Frogs are the folks who constantly decry our deplorable human rights record, while they themselves use torture and inhumane prison conditions as a standard practice. Oh, and they’re also the ones who wanted us to be nice to Islamofascists, just like they are. After all, they got a lot of good illegal oil-for-food contracts by being nice to gentle, caring Muslims like Saddam Hussein, by promising to stop America from killing their friendly terrorist buddies. Besides, just look at the result of making nice-nice with human garbage like that. Eventually, it comes back to bite them, and rightly so.
The leftist news media in the States have been referring to the violence over there as a “shock wave.” Well, they seem to be the only ones who are shocked. The rest of us are only “shocked” that it took this long to begin falling apart over there. Well, better late than never, I suppose.
There is one theory that the riots started because of the announcement that Gerard Depardieu was no longer making motion pictures. Frankly, I’d understand the violence more if he had announced he was making more movies, but that’s just me. However, I’ve been reliably informed that while Depardieu himself will no longer appear in films, his nose has independently signed a 3-movie deal (IMAX-only, apparently).
The Frogs seem to have been caught off-guard by this pimple on their socialist backside. Their worker’s paradise has been blessed with double-digit unemployment for some time now, despite the phenomenal strength of the European economy when compared to America (in their fevered yet tiny little minds, that is). The no-borders policy of the Euro Hegemony was possibly well-meaning, but certainly not well-thought-out. Like most lib/dem/soc/commie policies, they used their hearts instead of their brains. Sadly, what passes for both their hearts and brains seem to have descended from their cranial and central thoracic cavities down to the good ol’ sigmoid.
We can learn some things from the stupidity of our former Euro allies, however. The dangers of uncontrolled immigration without proper assimilation of the immigrants into their new culture are being illustrated (and illuminated) across the streets of Parisian socialist slums. We’ve got something similar brewing here. We have bent over backwards to illegal aliens, same as the Frogs, and unless we do something to stem the tide of illegals, and help the assimilation of legal immigrants, we’re going to end up with something similar.
We, as a nation, should offer NO help to the Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkeys. No logistical support, no financial support, no intelligence support, no military support. If they call information, we should hang up. If the EU is so bloody hot to trot, if they’re so damn butch, let’s see them come to Froggyland’s aid. I’m sure the Krauts will be happy to send in support troops, and the Frogs will greet them with open arms and tears of joy (like they did back in the early 1940’s, if memory serves). Then again, the Germans will be so tied up in bureaucratic knots by the Brussels Boy Scout Branch (see also: EU Headquarters) the country will be a smoldering pit around the same time as they decide the shape of the negotiating table. I’ve been told that Germany already has a plan in place to force the Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkeys to capitulate. They plan to serve white wine with the chateaubriand.
In the mean time, however, there will be the loss of innocent life in Europe. Regular citizens, who were promised safety and protection by their governments, will find those as empty as all the other promises they were handed. They’ll end up with an Islamofascist regime eventually, which means that they’ll be exporting more terror out of Froggyland (in addition to all those Gerard Depardieu movies). All those vineyards will have to be plowed under, of course, because alcohol is anathema to Islamofascists. They’ll be replaced by poppy fields as the new “cash crop.” Best of all, the Islamofascists will finally have access to all those lovely Froggy nukes. And I’ll guaran-damn-tee you that they won’t be “testing” them on Moruroa – Manhattan, more likely.
At which point, we’ll have to nuke them. Preferably using bombs wrapped in a thick layer of bacon.
I’m sure some of you are shocked and dismayed by my total lack of sympathy. Well, tough. I’m sympathied-out by scum like the Frogs, to whom we have provided much support in the past. Support that cost American lives, only to have the Frogs spit on their graves. Well, after a while, when you have to deal with ungrateful bastards all the time, you learn that if people can’t be grateful maybe they don’t deserve the help.
About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a writer and humorist who is also a moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. He formerly lived in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, but now resides in the Midwest. Doc receives e-mail at docfarmer9999@yahoo.co.uk.
Ellie