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thedrifter
10-23-02, 06:54 AM
It's Gooooood Morning Bagram! as Williams Flies In


BAGRAM, Afghanistan (Reuters) - Hyperactive Hollywood comedian Robin Williams
treated U.S. troops to uncensored helpings of his zany humor during a tour of
bases in Afghanistan that ended Sunday.

Within minutes of landing at the dust-plagued Bagram Air Base north of Kabul,
Williams served up a raunchy, rapid-fire routine with something to offend
just about everyone.

He compared Afghan women in traditional coverall burqas to beekeepers, took
digs at U.S. media billionaire Ted Turner and his former wife Jane Fonda, and
also risked the wrath of chat show queen Oprah Winfrey and military caterers.

Unfettered by domestic prudery, Williams dished out plenty of expletives and
sexual innuendo, but inverting the norms of U.S. television, his Hollywood
publicists were insistent media cameras should show no guns in the same frame
as the star. Williams made sure that most of his routine was more suitable
for the barracks than family television viewing. But from the moment he
introduced himself with an earsplitting "Gooood moorning Bagraaaaam!,"
recalling his role as a military radio presenter in the movie "Good Morning
Vietnam," he was a huge hit with the hundreds of troops in the audience.

"Good luck with those shots, fellas," he quipped to the cameras after using a
plastic mineral water bottle to demonstrate the supposed effects of Viagra,
adding to a female soldier: "I'm sorry for spraying you girl -- don't go
Oprah on me."

TROOPS IN STITCHES

He had the troops in stitches with a pun on the supposed intestinal effects
of "Meals Ready to Eat," as well as references to the ban on alcohol at U.S.
bases in Afghanistan and sexual frustrations in what is a strict Muslim state.

"I see many of you have been here a long time," he said. "You have more
seamen than the fifth fleet! I see a lot of people saying: 'Take me home, I
must get laid."'

Williams laughed off the dangers of Afghanistan, joking that it was
impossible to complete a round of golf because the 10th hole was mined.

"A lovely flight in, thank you," he said. "I love spiraling in. Nothing like
that to make your colon say "fire in the hole!"

Then pointing up to a yawning gap in the hanger caused by a rocket or bomb,
he added: "I love the lovely Afghani renovation in the wall. Whoa baby
whoaah, too late now!"

However, Williams's Hollywood minders were apparently nervous about his
security during a visit that also took him to the U.S. base at Kandahar, a
former stronghold of the ousted Taliban regime and the al Qaeda network U.S.
forces are pursuing in Afghanistan

They insisted journalists respect a publication embargo on Thursday's Bagram
show until his departure from Afghanistan on Sunday. His trip earlier took
him to a U.S. base in neighboring Uzbekistan.

Capt. Beverly Grandison, a signals officer with the battalion from the 82nd
Airborne Division based at Bagram, said the soldiers were delighted Williams
had taken time to share some of their hardships.

"He was awesome, he's great. He's a really good comedian. In all the years
I've enjoyed everything he's done. I appreciate him coming out here for sure.

"It's great he's come here to see how we're living and breathe all the great
dust. It's pretty cool that he did that. I got an autograph and his picture
so it's really cool."



10/20/02 11:19 ET



Sempers,

Roger