Leaving DEP

[perfectcircle]

As discussed in a prior thread, I had fear that I would simply not be able to complete my goal of becoming a Marine. I sent my Recruiter a Fax today telling him the situation, and my further developed problems (I now have possible asthma, and I pulled a ligament in my leg).

I recieved a fax back from him a short while ago basically telling me I am immature and I insulted him by consulting this board. "it is between myself and my recruiter" according to him.

He tells me he would like to expedite the process of me separating from the DEP program but there is a large process involving such. He tells me he "knows" I don't WANT to be in the DEP program anymore and that it is not these medical issues at hand causing my decision.

He tells me I should be handling this more like a man and talking to him face to face....I guess he didn't understand when I told him this is a very hard decision to make, and it took me many months to decide. But as he always has done, it's always about him and guilt trips.

So I guess my mom spoke with him while I was working, and he wants to come here at 10:00 to discuss this in person, and to set up an appt. He told her I need to go in front of a Panel and be voted upon for my separation of the DEP program...is this true?

I am counting on "Drill Instructor" to see this, but anyone else who knows what this is about PLEASE respond ASAP. thank you.

[greensideout]

perfectcircle, tell us again why you are dropping out. I'm not sure that I understand?

[perfectcircle]

In a post a few months ago I was un easy about leaving. I had just lost my 20 year old sister, and my mom would be left alone. Post enlistment, my family fell apart. Nothing has been the same between anyone. The only family member i ever see now, is my mother..because I live with her. And she is different now as well.

I wanted to wait it out, to see if things would level out and if my mom would be okay by herself for so long. That was my main reason.

I see now that she probaly won't be. And it is nearing my ship date. I have also pulled a ligament in my leg Early november, and can no longer run even a mile and a half without my leg being too weak. My doctor also suggest I may have disturbed dormant asthma.

I simply cannot perform as well as I used to. And I have lost the desire to be what once was my dream. There is simply too much going on to through out the door, and physically I am not prepared to do so.

[greensideout]

Those are all troubles for sure. But that is how life is. You can let those things pull you down or you can decide to move ahead in your life and overcome them.

To much concern is put on PT before boot. Don't worry about that, you will be built up as you go through.

Have you dropped out of other things before?

[perfectcircle]

I don't think you understand...Since christmas I haven't been able to run a mile without weezing and getting shortness of breath. I was put on an inhaler a few weeks ago to see if it helps. And I have to go see a pulminologist. I have trouble walking when i get up in the morning, and walking for long periods of time. There is no way to 'build me up' right now, if ever. I am too stressed out to try anything. There's too much going on that I haven't dicussed but it all adds up.

This isn't a thread to talk me out of it or whine. I simply needed to know if my recruiter is lying to me, and what the process should entail.

But thank you for reading this and replying so quickly.

[greensideout]

You didn't answer my question?

[greensideout]

You know something perfectcircle, you are not the only young person that has a broken home, broken family. I came from one too.

[greensideout]

PM me sometime to chat. I'll talk with you. :)

[Amanda]

i hear you! You are the only one who can make the decsion. I don't know about your recruiter. But life happens and sometimes you can't leave things unfinished before you move on...

[perfectcircle]

Like i said, i am not going to be swayed anyway shape or form. My body simply cannot do it. Physically or mentally. Why put me out in combat and have me need an inhaler? There's reasons why we cannot enlist with asthma or a bum leg.

I simply needed to know the process of leaving. What it would entail. I researched and found that there are no mandatory meetings, but it is a station policy that the recruiting officer set one up. A lot of the things I have been told by him I have heard (by military sites etc) are not completly true. I am not knocking him or the Corps. I understand his job, and I understand the position I put him in.

I wish he would realize however, it is hard enough for me to do this, to give up my dream. But I need to do it.

[greensideout]

PC, I don't think that it's your dream that you are giving up---I think it may be your courage. Don't ever give that up!

[perfectcircle]

i can barely walk in the morning, I have a hard time by afternoon walking around my work...I think courage will have to be put on hold for a while.

[greensideout]

Originally posted by perfectcircle
i can barely walk in the morning, I have a hard time by afternoon walking around my work...I think courage will have to be put on hold for a while.

Really?:thumbdown

You never did answer my question---Did you ever drop out of something before?

[Future-USMC-LT]

I know you're feeling like sh**, but NEVER QUIT!! You quit something even once, and quitting in the future will become a hell of a lot easier. Let your leg heal. Maybe your ashtma or whatever the hell it is will go away. Maybe they won't. But do not start talking about quitting or walking away completely, it will only make things worse. Much, much worse.

[Sgtj]

my goodness, if you don't want to be a Marine then tell your damn recruiter you don't want to be one. Nothing is official until you have orders in hand and your in route to PI. Even then you have time to back the hell out.

If you don't want to be a Marine for whatever your reason is then don't, it must be a good enough reason for you, your the one that has to look in the mirror. If you are still proud of who you are and what you are doing then your making the right decision, if not, well then your probably not. Family issues can be touch to compromise but remember man, you have to pick up and move on. Your life is going to go down hill a he(( of a lot quicker.

Stay home, take care of your mom. Just wrap this trash up with us and the recruiter, say your good byes and foward march on out.

[perfectcircle]

Like i've been saying, my decision has been made. But I appreciate the support and help in trying to convince me otherwise. Right now I know the best decision is to stay here. Later down the road may be a better time. But i need this weight off my shoulders first. If i was to go in now, I wouldn't be any kind of Marine that you guys would want in your Corps.

I told him I wanted out, and he won't listen.

[perfectcircle]

greensideout - I am sure I must have quit at a few things in my life, we all have once or twice. But I can't think of anything big right now.

[GunnyL]

Here's the deal perfectcircle, Your Recruiter is right about one thing for sure. You need to be a man and talk to him face to face. Sending him a fax to tell him you want out of the DEP is a chumps way of doing things. You want to be a Man; stand up for the decisions you make and face them head on, otherwise nobody's ever going to respect you or the decisions you make.
I understand you have some troubles in your life. I highly doubt that you just all of a sudden developed asthma, sounds more psychological to me but that's for a Doctor to decide and if it is in fact Asthma; you're permanently disqualified from being a Marine anyway. Also, you need to get the Medical documents from the Dr. prescribing you the inhaler and the Pulmonary Specialists workup to your Recruiter for submission to the MEPS Medical Dr. to be reviewed as your status has changed since you swore into the DEP.
Good Luck in whatever you decide to do perfectcircle, I truly wish you the best but be a Man and not a coward in the way you go about doing things. And be honest with your Recruiter, go see him and talk to him. I was a Recruiter; I developed a personal bond with the Men and Women I recruited. I took it very personal if they were afraid to talk to me face to face about anything. I may not have liked it if you came in to tell me you wanted out of the DEP, I would have counseled you and tried to get you to stay. But in the end, it's easier for me to replace you in the DEP than to waste the Marine Corps money sending you to Boot Camp with the knowledge you didn't have what it takes to Graduate in the first place.

GunnyL