Parent are unhappy [Archive] - Marine Corps

kanako

04-14-15, 08:21 PM

I enlisted into the DEP about a week ago and I was very excited, I told everyone about it and was very proud. But when I got home that night, my parents were very unhappy and haven't talked to me since I enlisted. They told me before I enlisted that if I did this, it would be the biggest mistake of my life and that they would be done being my parents. I thought they would get over it so I went ahead and enlisted anyway. But not I can't help but wonder if they will get over it. Did I make a mistake? They are refusing to sign the waivers that would allow me to go to the poolee functions (I'm 17). Should I explain this to my recruiter? He is mad at me for not showing up to stuff. Or should I just drop out of the DEP?

josephd

04-14-15, 08:28 PM

Well you're only 17 so you are still legally under their rule. Let your recruiter know your parents are giving you a hard time, they know how to deal with it.

If they absolutely won't allow you to do this, just wait it out until you're 18 and you can do what you want without their permission

Hammer

04-14-15, 09:00 PM

Josephd is correct in his post. It's a tough situation, but doable as long as you stick to your guns, and your parents see that you are sincere in what you want to do with your life.

Did your mother or father serve in the military? Any brothers or sisters etc; serve?

What are the reasons they are so upset? It may come down to the fact that they now are realizing that their son has grown up, and making decisions on his own.

kanako

04-14-15, 09:21 PM

My dad was a Marine. And They wanted me to enlist into the Air Force because they think the Air Force can offer me jobs that would better translate into civilian jobs. But the problem isn't that I haven't enlisted, they signed those papers and allowed me to enlist but now they wont sign papers saying I can work out with the other poolees and stuff like that. That's why I think it might be kind of hard for my recruiter to understand everything that is going on. I want to tell him everything but I don't know how and I also don't want him to think my parents are terrible people

USMC 2571

04-14-15, 09:24 PM

Yes, indeed, level with your recruiter immediately. Sometimes they go and talk to the parents themselves. This isn't the first time this has happened, parents wanting to manipulate kids into living the kinds of lives the PARENTS want them to live. Well, the parents already had their lives, they don't get to live through their kids. That is very unfair. But----they will either come around or not. Normally they end up coming around, and are giving you a hard time in the hopes that you will see things their way and do things accordingly. Stick to your guns. It's your life, not theirs.

I would 100% avoid confrontations with them.

USMC 2571

04-14-15, 09:25 PM

We posted at the same time----your recruiter has seen this before. Let him handle it. Tell him everything.

USMC 2571

04-14-15, 09:30 PM

By the way, if you do a search here under various key words, you'll see how many times this issue has come up over the years.

Phantom Blooper

04-15-15, 06:28 AM

I am not trying to diss your parents or have you go against their wishes.

However your Dad is not totally correct.

Regardless of what branch of the Armed Forces you go into whether it be the Air Force or Marines....or the other
after you leave the service with whatever MOS you had......you can if the job market allows or your education
allows you to you can get an outstanding job in the civilian force or you can be happy doing menial labor.

Just because you are a Air Traffic controller in the Air Force or Marines doesn't mean you will work for an airport.

If you are a grunt or in the 03 field in the Marines doesn't mean you are dumb or illiterate.....you have many skills....
and you can have a high paying job.

Your transition from the service depends on you and the job market and economy....not what you did in any branch.

Although the common misconception is that because the Air Force is mostly technical you will transition into civilian life with no hassles...worries and have a big paycheck every Friday.

I know that parents are looking out for your welfare and don't want their child to make the same mistakes as they did.....
however it is your life and I would put any Marines skills against any other branches comparable MOS and the Marine has just as good of chance maybe even better because of the way he carries himself and his instilled bearing during and after service if they are not a shiatbird.

Tell the recruiter and maybe have him set up a meeting with your parents.....doesn't hurt.

But.....in the long run it is your choice...your life....your career.....you might just have to wait until you are eighteen.

Good luck!

USMC 2571

04-15-15, 07:03 AM

Great post as always, Chuck-----Hannah, listen carefully, don't misconstrue what I am about to say as saying the Air Force is better than the Marines. That's not what I'm saying-----if someone has no DESIRE to join the Marine Corps, then in my opinion, which is just one of many, is that the Air Force would be a good choice compared to the other branches. Why? Schools, no rifles, less petty BS, etc----this is compared to the other military services.....You have to want to join the Corps in order to do it, and apparently the Corps is what you want. So go for it, now or when you turn 18.

I can see where your dad is coming from. Oh no, I went through USMC boot camp and I KNOW how it is, and now my beloved daughter is CHOOSING that over a nice plush comfortable existence in the USAF?????!!!!!!!------what is she thinking?

So their support is conditional. At this point. If you go USAF, fine, but if you go USMC---no.....but that will change.

1. Talk to your recruiter right away. Disclose all this.
2. Do not get into arguments with your mom and dad. They're not being mean, they are concerned about your safety.
3. Make your OWN choices.

Analyze yourself. Am I doing this to show my dad I'm good enough to be a Marine just like he was/is? Is this why I am joining?----be careful re the reasons why you want one thing instead of another. Always, in life, make sure you're doing things for the right reasons.

Tennessee Top

04-15-15, 07:32 AM

Whatever it's worth. I have a niece who is a Lance Corporal in the Marine Corps right now (she is an electrician). I have another step-niece who is a senior in highschool and considering enlisting in the military after graduation. My LCpl niece is telling her to join the Air Force and, whatever she does, DO NOT JOIN THE MARINE CORPS! And, she is a meritorious PFC and a meritorious LCpl going up for meritorious Cpl so no shiatbird with a poor attitude. Sounds a lot like the OP's parents to me.

USMC 2571

04-15-15, 07:39 AM

Good post, Top----I think that's similar to what I was saying about people who KNOW how tough the Corps is, and knowing that, while they have no regrets that they joined, they do try to steer others in different directions.

But there is a fallacy in that, too, and that is, if the Air Force is so much better, why did YOU join the Corps?

That is a real conversation stopper. LOL

Tennessee Top

04-15-15, 09:18 AM

Understand the concept. As we all know, the perceptions of the USMC can be a lot different than the realities (for better or worse) depending on one's experiences. One cannot truly appreciate what it's like being a Marine until you are one. And, that's a good thing. I also believe being a female changes the perceptions and realities significantly.

Marine1011

04-15-15, 10:07 AM

It's more than a concept, it's reality, i.e. that there is no doubt that the Marines are in fact tougher than the other services. No one can dispute that, I trust. :) Therefore, people try to (some of them, at least) direct friends and family way from the Marines and into other branches.

Marine1011

04-15-15, 10:09 AM

But just because it's the toughest and strictest does not mean no one should join it. That's hardly what we're saying at all. We're basically saying that because the Marines are the strictest branch of the military, some would say others should avoid it. And as someone said earlier, it's indeed interesting that those who counsel others about this, themselves joined the Marines.

Hammer

04-15-15, 10:56 AM

Well, I'd be willing to bet that should she proceed with her intentions to join the Corps against her parents wishes, that the proudest Parents in the reviewing stand at Parris Island when she graduates will be hers.ws?

Maybe, her father having been a Marine has some memories that he'd rather forget with women Marines while he was in. Who knows? Speaking from experience; I was one proud Marine Parent when my son passed in review at PI.

USMC 2571

04-15-15, 12:56 PM

I'd make that same bet right along with you, Mitch.

chulaivet1966

04-15-15, 02:49 PM

But.....in the long run it is your choice...your life....your career.....you might just have to wait until you are eighteen. Good luck!

I'll echo the above....end of story.

Dave mentioned something about 'why does one join the USMC'.

Personally....
In my era ....I didn't give a shvt about what the civilian world could offer based on my military training/skills.
It's the USMC...not the Cub Scouts.
I joined precisely because it was the toughest to endure (not to mention my totally sucking home life) and it would make a man out of me one way or the other.
It may sound silly to some but it was during Nam and I wanted to be the tip of the spear among the military choices and do my part proudly and with honor when my boots the hit South East Asian ground.

When your tour of active duty is over and someone asks what branch of the military you served in how would you prefer to respond?

OP....the choice is yours....choose well.

Carry on....

USMC 2571

04-15-15, 03:43 PM

Excellent post, Wayne, as always---I dropped out of high school, made up my mind to enlist in the military. What branch? I didn't know. I knew I wanted 4 years, not 3 or 2, but what branch? I went to all the recruiters, but the sign across the big window at one of them said "U.S. Marine Corps" in big gold letters----I said to myself, you're going in for 4, may as well go in the BEST and most challenging branch.

We didn't give a damn about jobs either. No one could choose his MOS. We took Classification Tests at Parris Island. Those scores, plus the ever-present Needs of the Corps, determined what your job would be.

What we would do in the Corps as far as job goes? Never crossed our minds. Simply put, we wanted to become Marines, and we did.

chulaivet1966

04-15-15, 04:23 PM

Excellent post, Wayne, as always.
What we would do in the Corps as far as job goes? Never crossed our minds. Simply put, we wanted to become Marines, and we did.

Thanks Dave....another 'end of story'. :)

I told this story here a year or so ago but will tell again to any wannabe's that may find a modicum of humor in it...

Spring 1965: post HS graduation that I barely accomplished.
I joined the 120 day DEP.
I had to attend a introductory indoctrination meet up in Oakland, Ca.
At least 200+ of us in a huge room with wall to wall uncomfortable metal folding chairs.
I was sitting in the rear of this room with all other joiners/draftees to my front.
Everyone yakking loudly awaiting what was to be an officer (Navy, I think) to weed us out into our respective services of choice.
Numbers aren't exact but the proportion I'm emphasizing is.

Officer comes to the podium for a few words then asks:

"OK....all of you that have joined the Navy please stand up."
(about 100 or so stand up and he does a cursory head count)

"Those of you that have joined the Air Force please stand"
(about 100 rise to the occasion)

"Those who have joined the Army please stand up."
(about 50 or so stand to be counted)

"Those of you who've joined the Marine Corps please stand"
(you still with me here?...about (4) of us stood up to be counted...maybe (6) )

If one is most concerned about MOS translation to the civilian world or decide to cave or adhere to the choices your parents make for you then pick another branch of service....plenty to choose from.
If one is more interested in earning the coveted Eagle/Globe/Anchor and being one of 'The Few, The Proud'...(see above experience) then check out your local USMC recruiter and be aware "The Title" will not be given to you.

That's my take.....carry on.

USMC 2571

04-15-15, 08:34 PM

True, Wayne, a person has to want the title of U.S. Marine.

Phantom Blooper

04-16-15, 06:26 AM

Grass is always greener over the septic tank.....there has been many over the years.....too many to count

from other branches of the Armed Forces.....that have come on this site requesting information on either how
to enlist in the Marines.........because they in some way are disgruntled with their leadership...MOS.....or they realized

way too late what service they really wanted to join.

Regardless of branch....MOS....duty station....war...peace.....your superiors/juniors.....chow...living conditions....

the military...any branch is what one makes of it on a daily basis with the self motivation and intestinal fortitude required!

Mongoose

04-16-15, 07:32 AM

I have 7 children.....all grown. I tried to raise them with morals and respect. I never tried to dictate their life to them. I lived my life the way my heart led me. I always wanted them to pave their own way also. I supported them in every choice they made, as long as it was lawful and moral. We are a close family. My oldest son is a long haul truck driver. My oldest daughter is a child Social Worker. One daughter is a Supervisor for CVS Pharmacy. One son is a Paramedic Superintendent. One son just got out of the Navy, and is a High school music teacher. One daughter is a R.N. at a large hospital and my youngest daughter is a stay at home Mom. 5 have College degrees............Your parents should let you determine your own destiny. You cannot live another persons dream or regret. Let your heart guide you Most parents think they know what is best for their kids.......but then again, they are not the ones going to live it!

LCPL1341

04-16-15, 05:59 PM

My parents were against me joining when I enlisted. My dad eventually came around and supported me, my mom was adamantly against it until it was shipping time and the realization hit her. However, when they saw me again 3 months later on family day and marching across that parade deck, they were proud. Now my parents tell everyone i'm a Marine and even have moto stickers on the family car.

It may seem like the worst thing ever, like you're alone in this, but trust me, its temporary. You just have to weather the storm and it'll all be good in the end. I can guarantee that. I've seen this scenario play out so many times, and it always ended the same way. Good luck to you!

josephd

04-16-15, 06:19 PM

I am gonna change my tune on this and say something that most will not agree with...slightly controversial...

Knowing now that OP is a female, I completely understand her parents concern. While it may be a double standard and slightly sexist, having a son joining the Corps is much different than a daughter. While I commend most females for joining the Corps and military in general, when it comes down to it though the military(ESPECIALLY the Corps!) is very male oriented and testosterone driven. I would not want my daughter in the Corps living with/around a population of 98% 18-25 year old men.

I am not going to say it happens frequently or all the time but lets just say that female Marines are called "walking mattresses" and other names for good reason....just sayin'...

let the flaming begin

Hammer

04-16-15, 07:18 PM

Phantom Blooper

04-16-15, 07:27 PM

Damn...dis' thread is going south.....were mentioning sex!

josephd

04-16-15, 07:49 PM

josephd, here's the deal. I'm sure that she has heard all this before from others and from her Father. According to her, she will be eighteen in the very near future, and as such legally an adult.

I, like you,know all the stories about Women Marines; and I'm sure that the young lady has researched it and if she is still determined to enlist in the Corps; please do so with my blessings. What she doesn't need is another Marine telling her that she doesn't need to go into the Marine Corps.

Don't take this as a flaming of your post; but as a post of advice that I would give to ANYONE/ANY SEX/ANY RACE.

In no way did I tell OP that "she doesn't need to go into the Marine Corps"

I am simply empathizing with with her parents and I actually support her if it's what she really wants(despite my personal feelings about the subject)

Is mentioning sex that taboo??....it's a reality....I knew this site/forum was pretty conservative but damn...

USMC 2571

04-16-15, 07:53 PM

Pretty soon this thread will be featured on the Ellen Degenerate show.

USMC 2571

04-16-15, 07:54 PM

I understand what Joe is saying. Parents feeling uncomfortable re a female going in as opposed to a male. Stands to reason, and I'm sure it's crossed the parents' minds. He just threw this into the discussion, and it's a legitimate contribution to this whole discussion, whether we agree or disagree.

USMC 2571

04-16-15, 08:03 PM

But going back to the original post, I think the MAIN reason the parents are so hesitant is that they both know (one more than the other) just how demanding, strict, exacting, tough the Marine Corps is, compared to the other services, and they don't want to see their daughter go into the Corps for that reason. I'm sure there are other reasons, but that could be the main one.

USMC 2571

04-16-15, 08:05 PM

No parent is going to say about their kid, especially a daughter, Hey, this is absolutely great! My kid is going to maybe go in harm's way, carry a rifle, be treated stricter than the other services. Isn't this cause for a big party?????

Phantom Blooper

04-16-15, 08:09 PM

Joe...I was making fun....I am well known for making a thread go south on this site.....sex is not taboo....it's fun...conservative sex isn't!

josephd

04-16-15, 08:16 PM

Joe...I was making fun....I am well known for making a thread go south on this site.....sex is not taboo....it's fun...conservative sex isn't!

Hahahaha...it's cool :handshake:

And while my comment was directed at what you posted, it was also a general statement about the blind EXTREME conservatism that is abundant in these forums

Mongoose

04-17-15, 08:07 AM

The truth is....if you think about it, and use common sense.....open season on young women is found in almost every aspect of the work force. Nothing new here! By a large majority, male Marines respect and Honor their female counterparts. I for one know several WM that I would feel comfortable with covering my back. Unlike some male Marines I have known.....that I would shoot before I'd share a fighting hole with. She is a young Lady that is looking for support....not ridicule or war stories about WM's. I would support her support her in every way. Just the very act of wanting to join the Corps, shows guts.....and guts is enough for me! You hang in there, Sweetie.

m14ed

04-17-15, 09:49 AM

Female Marines were not *Unknown
when i was in...but , were few enough
not to see that many of them.

I guess they are proportionally more
of them now than then.....

Should I NOW question ,
females wanting to be part of
the #Worlds Best Fighting Teams ?

Give it your best shot WOMAN.....
don't expect a different standard to
be held to either.......