View Full Version : Married before basic
My long term girlfriend and myself are getting married.. I have not went to basic yet, just need advice on if we should have the wedding before, or after basic.
irpat54
01-19-14, 05:47 PM
I hope that you and Her, mostly Her, realize that in the Marine Corps, the Corps comes first and foremost, for as long as you are in the Corps She will always take a back seat, that is just the way it is,, being a spouse in the Marines is tough, and it take a real special person to accept that,, and to be a Military spouse, let alone a spouse to a Marine, but if your going to get married I would wait until after Boot camp, then you could be Married in your blues.. and I hope you can get some of the Marines at the local reserve station to help with a traditional Marine Wedding,, but be advised that being Married to the Marine Corps is no walk in the park, and it will be especially hard with the fact that you will be ether a PVT. or a PFC when you get out of Boot,, so the money will be very tight, and the separation time will be very hard for both of you,,
Good luck, I had the pleasure to be Married when I was in the Corps to my first Late wife who was in the Corps as well, so we had that in command
Rocky C
01-19-14, 05:48 PM
1st, There is nothing basic about Marine Corps Boot Camp.
That is why it is not called basic training.
2nd, You are not even in the " Delayed Enlistment Program " yet.
3rd, This is a joke right ? You are only 15 years old. When did you start dating your long term girlfriend when you were 10 ?
First step is to visit a " United States Marine Corps Recruiter " and ask all the questions you want when you are a Junior in High School.
Stay out of trouble, stay in school and graduate, don't drink or take drugs and listen to your parents.
Also fill out your entire profile.
These are forum rules.
Best of luck to you.
ameriken
01-19-14, 06:23 PM
Marriage without enlisting is already difficult with high rates of divorce. Marriage combined with enlistment practically begging for divorce right from the start. If you intend to join the Corps then put off getting married for a few years...if after 3 or 4 years you still have a solid relationship, then get married.
Or, if you marry first then put off the Corps for a few years to give your relationship a chance to solidify. But marrying at a young age and then enlisting is like getting married and then separating. Might as well choose your divorce lawyers when you get your marriage license or perhaps do a prenup.
http://www.leatherneck.com/forums/showthread.php?112106-Marriage-Girlfriends-and-the-Corps&p=882529&highlight=married#post882529
Rocky C
01-19-14, 06:25 PM
Can he even get married at 15 ?
ameriken
01-19-14, 06:45 PM
I think under 18 is allowed in some states if there is parental consent.
With all due respect sir, every situation is different. Every relationship is different.
josephd
01-19-14, 10:13 PM
With all due respect sir, every situation is different. Every relationship is different.
with all due respect?
With all due respect to you, you have no idea what you're getting into. You have gotten advice on here from Marines that have been in & out of and around the Marine Corps for more years than you have even existed on this planet. Yes, every relationship is different but there is a reason why a majority of Marine's marriages never work out and that is what we are trying to get across to you. My opinion would be to stay single until you have been in the fleet for a year or two and if at that point you and your girl are still together and want to get married then go for it.
Just something to think about.....what if you get stationed in Okinawa, Japan and you can't take your spouse with you?...you are gonna go about 2-3 years potentially without seeing your wife.
CatLUVR11
01-20-14, 03:37 AM
With all due respect sir, every situation is different. Every relationship is different.
The men on this site deserve your utmost respect. Seems to me you are offended by their advice when you are the one asking for their assistance. If I were you, I would pay attention and thank them for their help in answering your questions. Best of luck to you.
ameriken
01-20-14, 12:01 PM
With all due respect sir, every situation is different. Every relationship is different.
That's a non-answer and doesn't deal with reality in the Corps and it's impact on all those different relationships and situations.
Because what is not different is the Marine Corps and the high amount of stress that life in the Corps puts on a relationship, especially a young untested one.
What is your young new wife going to do while you're gone at Boot Camp, then get transferred for a a few short months to maybe Camp LeJeune NC for MCT, then get sent to Okinawa for a year, are transferred back to Camp Pendleton CA for a year and then shipped off to God knows where for God knows how long? She's going to want to be with her new husband who is everywhere else but with her but instead she's stuck at home with mommy and daddy.
And even if it were remotely possible for her to follow you around, have you thought about what she thinks about living in a sh*thole apartment in a sh*thole Marine town on a low PFC or LCpl's pay? Or how she's gotta raise a baby on that pay if she gets pregnant?
And once she sets up home or gets a job, how she feels about having to uproot a few months later and start all over again in some other state? Or how she'll feel about living alone in that sh*thole while you're dillydallying around overseas? You might even want to think about how you'll feel about being overseas knowing she's lonely and living in a place with thousands of single horny Marines looking to bed up with lonely Marine wives?
All relationships are different so you are not special. What remains the same is life in the Corps, and life in the Corps means you often do not even have a relationship because of separation, and that is and perhaps will remain one of the greatest stresses on a young relationship.
But hey, it's your life, do what you want. In the meantime, you might want to ask her what she thinks about all of the above as well so she knows what she's getting into if you join the Corps, and if that is what she really wants.
chulaivet1966
01-20-14, 12:27 PM
With all due respect sir, every situation is different. Every relationship is different.
IMO...
You've already been provided good advice.
I'm going to be blunt...
You are 15 and know nothing about relationships, their duration possibilities or ramifications of considering marriage at this time in your life.
Especially, if your considering the possibility of trying to earn the EGA.
Knowing you'll not like what I'm saying I'll still close with don't get married yet.
Carry on....
I'm not wasting anymore digital bits answering %^&@#$%% questions like yours. Don't call the recruiter. CALL HOME! GO HOME SPOT.
:evilgrin:
chulaivet1966
01-20-14, 03:20 PM
I'm not wasting anymore digital bits answering %^&@#$%% questions like yours. Don't call the recruiter. CALL HOME! GO HOME SPOT.
Ha...
I know I wasted some bandwidth but the level of coffee in my veins compelled me to say something knowing full well it will likely fall on deaf ears.
I've got beard whiskers older than him and he's not receptive to some of the sage advice provided.
Do carry on...
devilbones2
01-22-14, 06:53 AM
I have been married for 16 years and can offer this advice:
"Don't get married"
Everyone I know has been divorced. I haven't (came close a few times) but it is very rare that you will find 'the one' when you are so young. People change as they get older and you don't really know what you like when you are young. Being married and deployed really sucks too. I was married my first six years and four I spent away.
ritdawg
01-22-14, 10:00 PM
With all due respect sir, every situation is different. Every relationship is different.
I have to ask...did you knock her up? And want to get married because of that?
Tennessee Top
01-22-14, 10:19 PM
Appears to me he is one of those who already has all the answers. They'll come on here and ask a question. But, as soon as they see an answer they don't like then they don't want to play anymore. Counseled too many young Marines just like him. You can talk to them till you're blue in the face but in the end, they're going to do what they're going to do. That's cool - some people just have to learn the hard way and some never learn. I learned. I waited till I was a Sgt to get married (just like some advise here). We had been married four years and were living in base housing aboard Camp Pendleton when I reenlisted again and BAM - those unaccompanied orders for Okinawa showed up. I went to OKI and she stayed in base housing alone. She hooked up with Jody about the halfway point but never told me till I came home. She picked me up at the Greyhound bus station in San Clemente, dropped me off at our quarters, threw her bags in our vehicle, and swooped. I never saw her again - the divorce papers arrived in the mail a few says later. Fortunately, there were no kids involved so I avoided paying child support for however many years later. Had some relationships since but never got married again (not worth it to me). Saw it happen to too many of my friends over the years but never believed it would happen to me. I don't believe rank/experience/maturity have anything to do with it. You see just as many SNCO's and officers get divorced as young NCO's and nonrates. It's the lifestyle and pressure of constant separations/deployments/changing duty stations, etc. And, it's not going to get any better. Our Commandant has said we are going to get back to our expeditionary roots and being the nation's 911 force. That means being forward-deployed and aboard Navy ships - not sitting at home stateside with your family.
mexbearlll
01-23-14, 08:35 AM
Yes it takes a very strong Woman to Marry a Marine. I was so lucky 31 years ago,got Married 10 days before BootCamp (No, She was not knocked-up) And We have been together though it all,OKI twice, out in the field, getting deployed. Talking helped Us alot letting each other know how We felt about things.Just My 2 cents.
03GyRene
01-23-14, 12:49 PM
...Our Commandant has said we are going to get back to our expeditionary roots and being the nation's 911 force. That means being forward-deployed and aboard Navy ships - not sitting at home stateside with your family.
I think a lot of kids going in now believe they are only going to be a Marine between 08:00 and 17:00 monday through friday. hahaha...they will learn the hard way and reality will be a punch in the gut.
chulaivet1966
01-23-14, 01:05 PM
I think a lot of kids going in now believe they are only going to be a Marine between 08:00 and 17:00 monday through friday. hahaha...they will learn the hard way and reality will be a punch in the gut.
Ha...unlike the literal 'punch in the gut' that used to be DI protocol. :)
I do agree with your comment.
TTOP....'Sitting at home stateside' was certainly NOT what I envisioned I'd be doing as a Marine.
Carry on....