Worried soon to be wife! :(

[TaylorWebb]

My fiance is joining the Marine Corps, He ships out 20110509 but his job has changed 3 times in the last few weeks. He went from MP to Intel and now is back at MP. When it was first MP he was told he would deploy normal etc nothing crazy. When it swapped to MP they told him it was a better choice because MP's deploy twice as much and many other negative things about MP's. Now that it has swapped again his recruiter has changed the story. Can anyone enlighten me on the truth?? We are making wedding plans and I am getting tired of the wish-washiness about the whole situation!

Any help is greatly appreciated and a big thank you to anyone who responds with advice.

[Old Marine]

If you are going to marry this guy, you might try getting used to what he will be going through and I would suggest you back him up and support him in whatever he does, or your marriage will not last very long.

[Tennessee Top]

Favorite motto for a USMC spouse: "Semper Gumby" (always flexible).

Your fiance is not even a Marine yet and you are already having issues with the Corps. You haven't even faced your first deployment yet. This is only a small taste of what life can/will be like...it will get worse. If you let a small deal like this get to you then you are in for a long ride (this is nothing).

Rule #1: your life will be determined by the needs of the Marine Corps

Rule #2: when in doubt, refer to rule #1

Good luck to you and your fiance.

p.s., here's a piece of advice: learn to work around the USMC's schedule cause it is not going to work around yours. To put it bluntly...the Corps does not care about your wedding plans.

[chad6025]

I agree with "Old Marine" you are going to have some serious issues when/if he becomes a Marine if your having problems already im sure things will change for him a lot in the future so I would get used to it.!

[Hazel1182]

Although I do not know much about the MP mos, except they are a bunch of nice guys. I can give you a bit of advice as a Marine wife. #1 Marine Corp will run your life as much as much as it runs his. #2 A supportive wife is not issued but we do make a lot of it easier. #3 If you are not going to support the Marine Corp and their never certain ways, Marine wife may not be the job for you. #4 A Marine's wife life is never certain so make your self a oh crap emergency move plan lol

[Sgt Jim]

Your going to see a different person when he gets through boot camp than when you got married to him.

[Tennessee Top]

Although I do not know much about the MP mos, except they are a bunch of nice guys. I can give you a bit of advice as a Marine wife. #1 Marine Corp will run your life as much as much as it runs his. #2 A supportive wife is not issued but we do make a lot of it easier. #3 If you are not going to support the Marine Corp and their never certain ways, Marine wife may not be the job for you. #4 A Marine's wife life is never certain so make your self a oh crap emergency move plan lol

My ex would not agree with your slogan "Once A Marine Wife, Always A Marine Wife"...she split with Jody (boyfriend) halfway through my 12 month unaccompanied tour on Okinawa...occupational hazard:cry:

[USMCJUMPDIVE]

sounds like a bunch of grumpy old marines talking. taylorwebb everything in the corps changes but dont let that get to you. its true what you read be flexible and ready to sacrice. sounds crapy but dont let that get to you. there is a lot out there for military wives. your marine is going to be busy. you do the same...USO, church groups, marine wives assoc and much much more.

[Apache]

Put a positive spin on it darlin
New challenges and opportunities daily
You need to be good with back up plans adjust adapt overcome

Your support will make the differance

[Old Marine]

My fiance is joining the Marine Corps, He ships out 20110509 but his job has changed 3 times in the last few weeks. He went from MP to Intel and now is back at MP. When it was first MP he was told he would deploy normal etc nothing crazy. When it swapped to MP they told him it was a better choice because MP's deploy twice as much and many other negative things about MP's. Now that it has swapped again his recruiter has changed the story. Can anyone enlighten me on the truth?? We are making wedding plans and I am getting tired of the wish-washiness about the whole situation!

Any help is greatly appreciated and a big thank you to anyone who responds with advice.

On a much happier note, I will tell you that I married my wife when she was 17 years old and she stuck with me my whole career and backed/supported me all during my 20 years. We have now been married for 55 years. We are living proof that not all Marines end up divorced. Had a lot of tough times, but Marines and their wifes know how to survive. No where in life does it say that everything is Peaches and Creme.:evilgrin:

[Apache]

Old Marine
Has similarities
Married 1969
She put up with me and the Corps
Still married to the best thing that ever happened to me

Thankful she stayed strong through some tough times

Right now I'm unemployed at 64 hrs young and she's my rock

[USNAviator]

On a much happier note, I will tell you that I married my wife when she was 17 years old and she stuck with me my whole career and backed/supported me all during my 20 years. We have now been married for 55 years. We are living proof that not all Marines end up divorced. Had a lot of tough times, but Marines and their wifes know how to survive. No where in life does it say that everything is Peaches and Creme.:evilgrin:

Same here Gunny, my wife and I made it through my twenty as well. And there are a lot of tough times. She added up I was gone for nearly 4 years during which time she held it all together

It takes a special woman to be a military spouse

Taylor, the phrase I'll leave you with is adapt and over come.

Good luck to the both of you

[FistFu68]

:beer: :thumbup: :beer:

[Rocky C]

Semper Gumby..... Always Flexable....

[Tennessee Top]

sounds like a bunch of grumpy old marines talking. taylorwebb everything in the corps changes but dont let that get to you. its true what you read be flexible and ready to sacrice. sounds crapy but dont let that get to you. there is a lot out there for military wives. your marine is going to be busy. you do the same...USO, church groups, marine wives assoc and much much more.

I'll give you grumpy...the rules on this site require you to:

1. Complete your profile.

2. Use proper grammar (capitlization, spelling, etc.; you are NOT texting your buds here).

3. Capitalize the words Marine and Marine Corps (which is proper English anyway...check the dictionary).

Now, get yourself squared-away (if you don't want to get extracted out of here).

You all can paint Taylor a rosey picture if you want to. There are plenty of outstanding facets of being a spouse in the USMC and I truely wish her the best (she absolutely deserves it). At the same time, she asked for advice and deserves to be told the bad along with the good. If she does not want the perspective of a 22 year career Marine she should have said so but she didn't. When I was a young hard-charging Devil Dog, I didn't want to listen to my senior staff NCO's either. But, I learned (the hard way), for the most part, they knew what they were talking about and I should've listened more. If anybody sincerely believes the USMC cares about her wedding plans and will adjust its schedule to accommodate hers tell her that...I want to see who would say something like that.

[Hazel1182]

My ex would not agree with your slogan "Once A Marine Wife, Always A Marine Wife"...she split with Jody (boyfriend) halfway through my 12 month unaccompanied tour on Okinawa...occupational hazard:cry:

A lot of people wouldn't agree with my slogan but a lot of people think it's easy being a Marine wife. Marines live through hard times and good times but a grumpy Marine = grumpy husband. It's takes love for your spouse and respect for the Marine Corps. You may not love the Marine Corps but you MUST respect it. I will say that in the end I loved it but there were times I hated it, but I have learned you can hate it all you want, but if you honestly love your spouse you must respect the Marine Corps since it is his life, you jut get to be apart of it.

[USMCJUMPDIVE]

My ex would not agree with your slogan "Once A Marine Wife, Always A Marine Wife"...she split with Jody (boyfriend) halfway through my 12 month unaccompanied tour on Okinawa...occupational hazard:cry:

sounds like a winner

[USNAviator]

Before we got married I explained the best I could what being a military spouse would be like. No amount of preparation will suffice. It's like being a parent, no manual you just do it and hope down the line the effort was worth it

When the ceremony was over and we walked through the crossed sabers and my best man swatted my wife on her butt with his saber and said "Welcome to the Navy, Mrs O'Shea" She knew she was joining the Navy, it wasn't the other way around

[bettyyross]

Be supportive and prepare yourself for it. It won't be easy. But if this is what you want, you'll make it work. Good luck.

[TaylorWebb]

Thanks! :D He is is boot right now and it's definitely not as bad as I thought it was going to be! I miss him but I know hes doing this for u and his country :D Thanks for your advice!

[wifeofmarine19]

My husband was an MP for all 4 years he served. He was a Garrison MP(not in the feild) and he did not deploy at all during his service. If you have any questions about being married to an MP let me know!!

[JustLooking]

For all the spouses out there, how hard is it to have your own career? I'm in a serious relationship with a guy who's scheduled for OCS to become a JAG (lawyer) this fall. The thing is, I'm not 17. I'm almost 30, and we graduated law school at the same time. I am going to be a lawyer, too.

Moving unpredictably is pretty awkward for anything but a SAHM. Do spouses get jobs on base? Off-base? Has anyone managed to get meaningful professional experience while married to a man who is married to the Marines?

I "get" his service and what he's trying to accomplish, and I certainly am capable of being a supportive and understanding teammate for him. What I don't see is whether my whole career gets put on "hold" while he's in the service. Is the only useful role for me keeping the homefires burning and packing up his stuff every time they tell us we have to move?

Thanks,

~E

[DIMAS86]

Well you seem to have the world against you on this one. It's not as bad as they're making it out to be. So take a breath, and take most of it with a grain of salt. You're getting married to an MP Marine, not a Delta Force Operator. I spent about half a year with the MP's on base before I got out, and IT WAS THE LIFE. Great hours, and so easy. I talked to a few guys and you basically have to WANT to deploy if you an MP. They had guys getting out after four years without ever having deployed, that kind of crap was unheard of to me, but it was true. I could'nt WAIT to get out, but after my time with the MP, I actually tried to reinlist. Sadly...or luckily they weren't allowing LAT moves. So now I'm a civilian. But again, MP is a pretty nice gig. So I hope it goes through. GOOD LUCK!

[DobbinsBlythe]

For all the spouses out there, how hard is it to have your own career? I'm in a serious relationship with a guy who's scheduled for OCS to become a JAG (lawyer) this fall. The thing is, I'm not 17. I'm almost 30, and we graduated law school at the same time. I am going to be a lawyer, too.

Moving unpredictably is pretty awkward for anything but a SAHM. Do spouses get jobs on base? Off-base? Has anyone managed to get meaningful professional experience while married to a man who is married to the Marines?

I "get" his service and what he's trying to accomplish, and I certainly am capable of being a supportive and understanding teammate for him. What I don't see is whether my whole career gets put on "hold" while he's in the service. Is the only useful role for me keeping the homefires burning and packing up his stuff every time they tell us we have to move?

Thanks,

~E

As a spouse of an active duty member of the military, each time you PCS you will have "spouse preference" for DOD employment.... this is to include legal work. However... you will have to invest in bar exams in each state you move to, at least from what I understand. USAJOBS is a great site to search during times of PCS. Your career will probably, definitely, have bumps along the way, but a lot of employers love military spouses and will go out of their way to hire them.

I hope this helps!

[jamielang1951]

Thanks! :D He is is boot right now and it's definitely not as bad as I thought it was going to be! I miss him but I know hes doing this for u and his country :D Thanks for your advice!

Wow, I'm 20 miles from you, in Bogalusa. Really is a small world!

[KrissyCopeland]

Hello all I am new to being a wife let alone one to the corps I read what u all have posted but it don't stop me from being worried about things any advice on this please

[linda1945]

My parents were married 53+ yr. when Daddy passed away in 1996. Daddy was in USCG for 23 yr. retiring in 1964. I know it wasn't easy on Mom cause I can remember her saying; "Why can't you be around when something goes wrong?", but she was always there when Daddy needed her. It's a LOT of give and take, but by all means Stand by your man!!

[kay scullion]

Hello all I am new to being a wife let alone one to the corps I read what u all have posted but it don't stop me from being worried about things any advice on this please


:) All you have to remember is that he loves you and will do everything he can to come back to you, it'll be hard the entire time he is in the Corps but as long as you support him and stand behind him, you will find that you are also supporting yourself.

The only thing that you should beware of is if you start to fee bad for yourself you will become depressed, and that will make things much worse. Make sure you keep busy, the worry will keep you down. HANG OUT with your friends and cherish every moment you have with him.

Mushy I know, but I wish I knew this and didnt have to learn from experience. :) Hope that helps!