View Full Version : Parents will never understand
I'm 21 years old, graduating college, and about to enlist in the Marine Corps. My parent's knew since high school I wanted to join the Marines but never supported it. They continue to see it as a death sentence, a waste of a life, and something people do when they have no other options. They don't understand why I would volunteer to put myself in harm and why I want to put my family though this. There is nothing I can say to make them understand. It's just so frustrating and depressing to have the same arguments over and over about why I'm doing this to myself and my family. Why would I want to put myself in harms way. They don't buy any of that I want to serve my country, it's a calling, etc. To them, it's all bull **** run by a government that doesn't give a **** about me and only wants me because I'm a fresh body.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just ****ed and wish I knew what to say to help them understand. I told them they don't have to approve of it, just respect my decision, but they can't.
Sgt Leprechaun
04-21-11, 11:49 PM
Alas, they sound typical. Do what YOU have to do to look in the mirror in the morning. That's all you HAVE to do...live with yourself.
They'll either come 'round....or they won't. Either way, you'll be proud of yourself and that you've done something most people (likely as not including them) won't/can't/wouldn't.
Tookie22
04-23-11, 12:05 PM
Parents will learn not every Marine is going to die in combat. You're a big boy so they'll just have to respect your decisions. My question to you, why enlist? You are about to graduate college. Have you thought about OCS and earning a shiny collar that my young azz will salute? Marine Officers are great leaders. You'll have snazier uniforms, more respect from your peers and relatives, and better pay. Just saying you went to college and earned a degree, put it to good use because a 2nd Lt always looks better than a Pvt regardless of the ribbon stack.
USNAviator
04-23-11, 12:13 PM
I'm 21 years old, graduating college, and about to enlist in the Marine Corps. My parent's knew since high school I wanted to join the Marines but never supported it. They continue to see it as a death sentence, a waste of a life, and something people do when they have no other options. They don't understand why I would volunteer to put myself in harm and why I want to put my family though this. There is nothing I can say to make them understand. It's just so frustrating and depressing to have the same arguments over and over about why I'm doing this to myself and my family. Why would I want to put myself in harms way. They don't buy any of that I want to serve my country, it's a calling, etc. To them, it's all bull **** run by a government that doesn't give a **** about me and only wants me because I'm a fresh body.
Sorry for the rant, I'm just ****ed and wish I knew what to say to help them understand. I told them they don't have to approve of it, just respect my decision, but they can't.
Mind if I ask if you've considered the OCS route as Tokkie22 has mentioned? Nothing wrong with going enlisted after college but have you completely ruled out becoming an officer?
advanced
04-23-11, 03:57 PM
There are some threads on this website having to do with "Would you do it again." Without exception everyone says Yes.
Bruce59
04-23-11, 08:06 PM
21 years old, graduating college, I don't know what your degree is, but
im guessing you could do it at anytime in your life. Being a Marine you can't do at just anytime, you have a short window, its a young mans game.
They say it's like getting in line at a slaughterhouse, waiting to be torn apart. I tried enlisting after high school, but they wouldn't sign off since I was 17. I said at that point I am going to college and joining afterwards. During college I considered contracting into ROTC and they freaked out and said at least wait until after college to make the commitment so I could see all my other options.
I put everything off until I now and nothing has changed. I've been dealing with their arguing and crying for 5 years. I told them I did exactly what they said. I held off on any commitments and looked at all my other opportunities just like they said. They said they didn't expect me still to want this and don't care about what they said before.
I'm joining I just hate dealing with this. I'm not going through OCS because I cannot get in, tried already.
Devil1087
04-23-11, 09:24 PM
Cry moar kid everyone's parents wanted them to go to college so they'd hope that partying for 4 years as a student would turn them off to the military.
Stop giving a frolick, enlist and kill some brown people for god and country. If you die so what, everyone does.
Devil1087
04-23-11, 11:00 PM
Yeah emphasize your enthusiasm to go kill cave dwellers in Afghanistan too.
Zulu 36
04-23-11, 11:47 PM
Yeah emphasize your enthusiasm to go kill cave dwellers in Afghanistan too.
Be nice. Everyone needs a purpose in life. This just happens to be one the Marine Corps has available. It's honest work. :D
Sonic13
04-24-11, 10:59 AM
Why would you enlist in the Marine Corps after college? Having a college education will make your leaders seem even more illiterate than they initially are, trust me when i tell you this will drive you INSANE! Go to OCS if you want to serve, with a college education you should be leading Marines.
Pinstriper
04-24-11, 12:00 PM
I am speaking out of turn, as I'm not a Marine, but as a Dad speaking to a Son.
As a Dad, JD, we went through the same with our Son when he turned 20 and went to MEPS the day after. As a Dad, there are two things in my life that are a part of ME that can never be replaced, my Son & Daughter. My wife feels the same way.
Were we torn up inside? You bet. Did we applaud His decision? No. Were we both PROUD and respected the decision HE made to step up to a decision that only few have made? YES. We worry about him every day, as he is still our Son.
There aren't many families that haven't been exactly down this same path that you are talking about, Sgt. Leprechaun stated it right off.."sounds typical." They will come around, but make sure you take the time to talk to them even if they become combative. Arguing or fighting isn't going to work if there is only one side willing to argue or fight...
I know that not all parents are the same that We are with our Son & Daughter. This decision is yours, and I'm Proud to know there is another willing to be there, alongside our Son.
Tennessee Top
04-24-11, 01:05 PM
You have already made your decision to enlist. Good for you and congratulations on following through with your aspirations.
Your family has a decision to make now. They can continue to voice their disapproval or support you in your new career.
Good luck.
Devil1087
04-24-11, 03:56 PM
Why would you enlist in the Marine Corps after college? Having a college education will make your leaders seem even more illiterate than they initially are, trust me when i tell you this will drive you INSANE! Go to OCS if you want to serve, with a college education you should be leading Marines.
This
michagnu
04-24-11, 07:06 PM
Your parents suffer from the same delusions many parents suffer from. They worry you will die. The fact is your about three times more likely to die in a combat arms MOS that being the average civilian male between 18 and 35. In a "non-combat" MOS the difference in likelihood of death is not statistically significant.
None of that will change how your parents feel because the fact that far more Marines survive combat than not won't change their concern that you will be the one killed.
If your parents feel that being a Marine is a waste of life they are seriously misinformed. We live in the greatest country in the world, not because America is a superpower or the richest country on the planet but because we are still more or less free. America is a rich and powerful country because Marines defend our liberty. If America ever fails it will be the people who had better things to do who called the cadence on the downhill march. People who think there are better options than the defense of our way of life don't appreciate that their options are available because of the very people whose lives they deem a waste.
You can't convince those people. My grandfather used to tell me never argue with a fool unless you want to make one of yourself.
I suspect they love you and don't want to see you hurt. They probably told you a million times while you were growing up "be careful". They did get you safely to adulthood and since your considering serving your country they couldn't have crippled you too badly with overprotection. They probably took risks in their own lives to make sure you could live in a better time than the one they lived in and now its your turn to do the best you can for a better tommorrow.