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09-30-10, 04:44 PM #1
If the Marines can have a "funnies" section, why not poolees?
One day, little Timmy went on a school trip with his classmates to the Metropolitan Museum of Arts in N.Y.C. At the museum he saw a lot of interesting sights and rare works of arts, when he got to the mummy exhibition, a question suddenly popped into his head.
Little Timmy: Mrs. Splooginhand, do you think it was very expensive for the ancient Egyptians to mummify themselves?
Mrs. Splooginhand: Why, yes little Timmy, I would assume it did indeed cost a lot of money! In fact, one might say it cost them their lives!
I'm a poolee, not a comedian. I tried.
09-30-10, 06:17 PM #2
Did you read that on a popsicle stick?
09-30-10, 08:58 PM #3
10-01-10, 12:33 AM #4
That's something you find on the back of a laffy taffy.
10-01-10, 10:49 AM #5
Yeah that was pretty bad man. lol How about this one?
It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died.
St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
10-01-10, 12:51 PM #6
10-01-10, 12:52 PM #7
10-01-10, 01:18 PM #8
I'll probably catch hell for this. lol
10-01-10, 01:26 PM #9
I laughed at it
10-01-10, 01:36 PM #10
10-01-10, 05:29 PM #11
10-01-10, 05:37 PM #12
On a packed bus, two Nigerian men with heavy accents were having a conversation. An uppity, elderly English woman decided to eaves drop on them.
"Emma Comes first. Den I come. Den two Esses acoma together. I come once-a-more. Two esses, they come together again. I come again and Pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You dirty, foul mouthed PIGS, in this country, we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" The lady exclaims.
"Hey, whats-samatter for you?" The man askes, "I'm a justa tellin' my friends how to spell Mississippi!"
10-01-10, 07:39 PM #13
10-02-10, 01:21 AM #14
I love these here are a few i think you guys will like
10-03-10, 10:34 PM #15
http://verydemotivational.com/2010/0...-of-one/"><img src='http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/129084327284944961.jpg' id='_r_a_3088434432' title='demotivational posters Army Of One' alt='demotivational posters' />
see more Very" target="_blank">http://verydemotivational.com">Very Demotivational
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