Marriage In The Corps. ????

[enrikmolina]

Okay. So I Hear That The Corps Is The Number One Branch For Failed Marriages.
Im Just Trying To Get Some Insight On Marriage While In The Corps & What Other Marines Have Seen.

I Am Considering To Marry My Girlfriend After Boot Camp, But I Would Like To Hear Some Opinions.

Any Thoughts And Opinions Would Be Greatly Appreciated.


Thank You In Advance!

[Old Marine]

Marriage is no different than it is if you are a civilian. It is what you make of it.

[Donut Brigade]

Your post hurts my eyes.

Why do you insist on capitalizing every word?

[Sgt Leprechaun]

Stats are correct. But marriages fail in the civvie side as well. But be advised, your wife will be a far DISTANT 'second' to your FIRST wife....the Marine Corps. Because she'll demand far more of you than your 'home to' wife. The Marine Corps will be your 'wife' 24/7 for your entire enlistment.

Your 'home to' wife will be the one you 'come home to'. Temporary.

[FattyTheFerret]

Your post hurts my eyes.

Why do you insist on capitalizing every word?

Forum does that automatically when someone tries to post in all caps.

As for the OP, think about this: If you marry your girl after you graduate boot camp, you'll be gone from her again for another few months while you complete SOI/MCT and MOS school. Then you'll get your first duty station. At which point you will uproot her from her family and where she grew up to move to some remote military base probably on the other side of the country.

Then you get deployed. So now not only is she in an unfamiliar town with few friends but her only connection to the world is in a war zone on the other side of the world. The consensus is that a lot of marriages start to see their first cracks because of this very situation.

But don't worry, there will be plenty of Marines left on the base to take care of your wife while you're deployed. They'll make sure she's never too lonely. Keep that in mind.

[Sgt Leprechaun]

Ouch. Direct hit. You sank my battleship.

Very true.

[Beltayn]

Never get married because you feel like you need to in order to "save the relationship" or "help us survive X challenge" or something like that. That's a certain recipe for failure.

If it's meant to be, it's strong enough to wait.

Consider this: You can get married at any time for as little as $20. To get divorced will cost significantly more than that, and not just in dollars.

[TazMatt]

Marriage is what you make of it.I was married after ITR and stayed married the whole time I was in the service and later got a divorce but my marriage during the time I was in was alright.I even went overseas for a year with out dependents and my marriage lasted .As I said it is what you make of it.

[IVIanOnTheIVIov]

I could probably type a dissertation on the subject, but I shall save you from having to read until your eyeballs dry up and fall out of your skull.

If you really care for this girl and want to take the smartest route in making your relationship work without turning both of you into crazy people, you need to wait. Wait for a couple of years until you get settled and are used to being in the Corps, used to deploying, used to this new and entirely different lifestyle. It's not fair to drag her into this because (get ready for this) the reality is she, just as YOU, have no ****ing clue what you are getting yourselves into. So just wait it out a bit. Maybe when you get promoted to Corporal or have done a tour or two.

These words and the posts before mine were typed in vain because you are most likely going to do something stupid anyways so, as always, best of luck to you.

[Quinbo]

I've met a few that I actually felt pity for. Some private or PFC got married at age 19 and now lives in $400 one bed room apartment. Then they go out and get raped on a new car. Next they go to rent a center or whatever and rent to own a new monster size television complete with an X-box. Shortly there after they are financially screwed. Rolling pennies to buy the baby diapers. Then the big one happens. He gets on a plane and leaves his 18 year old wife and child behind and is gone for 6 months. Gets busted back to private because his wife wrote hot checks at the px. They become so desperate that she goes back to live with her parents and he moves into the barracks. End of story!

My first wife left me after my 5th deployment. We didn't fall into that financial trap. I was just gone and gone and gone.

[enrikmolina]

Hmmm....

Thank you everyone! Brought up 2 or 3 points I never thought about. Especially the point on 'saving' the relationship.

Well if it is meant to be, it is meant to be. If she cant wait then she wasnt worth it.

Donut Brigade... How do your eyes feel now? Hahaha

[tdrt]

Never get married until you're atleast 30+

[FattyTheFerret]

just make sure to trade her in for a younger model before you hit 10 years because after that if you get divorced, military automatically gives her half

[ArtyOps]

First of all, let me begin this with the disclaimer that I am "MrsArtyOps". This should probably be in a place where other Marine wives can respond also.

I met my now husband just before my 18th birthday when he was home on leave after his first tour in Okinawa. I lived in Rhode Island and he was stationed at Camp Lejeune and had been in the Corps for about a year and a half. During the 2 years and 3 months from when we met until we got married I saw him a total of 4 months, which included the 3 months I moved down to Jacksonville, NC (during which 2 of those weeks was spent alone while he was at Fleet Week in NYC - a good first taste of the military wife lifestyle). Following my return to Rhode Island, he went to Okinawa for a second time.
We got married November 30, 2002 and PCS'd to Camp Pendleton - 3000 miles away from the only family I had and all my friends. My husband checked in on January 15, 2003 and came home that night with the news that he was deploying to Iraq. He left January 29th - we had been married less than two months. I worked to stay busy and watched "You've Got Mail" more times than any human should be allowed to. Communication was nearly impossible - he didn't receive my letters for months, I received his every 2 to 3 weeks. Since this was the beginning of OIF, internet and phone were not set up for the Marines. The few times I did hear from him, he snuck a satellite phone to call me. He returned, which (heads up) is WAY harded than you think it would be, but we eventually adjusted and moved onto base because the neighborhood we had been living in was downright dangerous. Ten days after moving into base housing, we found out I was pregnant with our first child. Just before our daughter was born, my husband got a new ops chief and things at work got really hard. Long hours took a toll on him and on me and on our new little family. Still we perservered. Then - we had the opportunity to go to Okinawa for three years. I was so excited and I couldn't wait to go. All of our belongings were packed up and shipped, my husband was set to leave in early January and I would follow him there a month later after he had the chance to get housing and a car. And then...my medical clearance, which had been approved, was revoked after my husband had left and I was stranded. He spent until April trying to get back to the states until finally it was approved. We moved back into base housing later that month but didn't get our household belongings until mid May. After that, another baby, another move into bigger base housing (Gosh - I miss that house...), LOTS of field ops, my husband went back to a firing battery, and then LOTS more field ops training for his next deployment to Iraq. Before that deployment, I moved to Maine to be with family and after his deployment (which was much smoother due to the ability to e-mail, talk on the phone, etc.) he got out and moved to Maine with me and our girls.

We've been together ten years, married for almost eight, and five of those married years was in the Marines.

It was tough at times, but it was worth it. I am super proud of my husband and I was happy to support him.

I have seen alot of tragedy in Marine marriages, though, so your concerns are valid. There is a lot of infidelity, stress, and financial worry. I strongly believe that it takes a specific kind of woman to be a military wife. She needs to be independant, hard working, and focused on her family. Likewise, you need to devote as much time as the Marine Corps will allow you to your wife, sometimes at the expense of your friends.

Take advantage of the programs the Marine Corps has to offer like military marriage seminars, conseling, etc. Also - focusonthefamily.com and familylife.com have wonderful resources for military marriages.

I wish you both the best in whatever you decide to do.
Semper Fi,
Mrs. Arty Ops

[ArtyOps]

Just imagine how much she talks in person.